Monday, May 10, 2010
Hooray! I'm Not (imminently) Dying--I'm Just Hideous!
Okay, so first of all, let's just point out that yesterday was MOTHER'S DAY. Frankly, despite some nice aspects; breakfasted out with my family, some lovely homemade cards from the kids, a really good wine buzz around 4:00 in the afternoon--the day pretty much bit the big one. Hey, I bought some flowers for my mom, as I always do, but this year was spesh (my new, annoying, uber-sarcastic word for "special". I may never use it again) because I got to take them to my mom AT THE CEMETARY.
Okay, that's my little rant for the moment. I feel better now. Speaking of feeling better, in light of recent events with my poor mother, I decided I'd better go see my doctor, and get my lumps and bumps checked out. One lump, I had checked out by my old doctor before I moved from suburban hell. Fatty lipoma. Yum. And good news: the two new lumps are also fatty lipomas. Hooray! They're not cancerous tumors, just big, ugly man-back lumps! Yeah, if pushing 40 didn't already make me feel less than sexy, this is right up there.
So, I was completely burnt out after this visit. Actually, I was a little done in by the whole morning. I went for a walk with my girlfriend, as we do three times a week. On the way there I felt like crying--probably because I'm tired...maybe it was leftover blah-ness from yesterday. Then I got back from my walk and the school called. My son had peed his pants, and could we bring new pants. So, I was all fired up for a confrontation, and stormed on over in my elderly little green car, clean pants and undies in a dollar store bag. We've been recently having some on-going issues at school. When my mom became sick, my son became filled with anxiety. He didn't voice this in so many words, but he was showing some bad behaviour in the kindergarten classroom: telling kids to shut up, getting a little physical--general "little bugger" type stuff. However, it was also observed that one of the boys Jack was supposedly terrorizing, hopped off the bus the other day and made a bee-line for my son just to say some pesky stuff. Two sides to every story. So, I flipped from A to Z, and raced off thinking they'd make my little guy so anxious by painting him as the BAD GUY that he peed his pants! He NEVER pees his pants! Etc, etc.
Turns out he just peed his pants--and not even all that much. The more I type "peed his pants," the more stupid I realise this blog is becoming. Okay, let's just sum up by saying that the new Educational Assistant they have in there to help Jack is delightful, and apparently is smitten with him. Jack pointed at me when I showed up and said; "GO HOME." Oooookey...came back home...guzzled a coffee, raced to the Doctor's, sobbed there like an idiot for a bit, had my ugly lumps poked, walked home and threw as much victory food down my gob as I could get my hands on immediately. Does anyone else do this? Does anyone else go on a carbo-loading escapade when they get back from the doctor's? I had two samosas (love samosas in all their spicey Indian potato deep-fried goodness), several high fibre bran cookies, a slice of cheese and a piece of baloney. So, it's all good.
Damn, I love samosas.