Figuring out what I wanna be when I grow up.
Oop..I AM grown up...

Friday, May 21, 2010

It's FRIDAY B*tches!!!

First of all, I love some of these ridiculous urban-esque, texting/don't read a book/rap culture loving expressions. I enjoy saying things like; "I just finished all the housework, so I'm going to unscramble words online for an hour. Suck on THAT, B*tches!" Or, in contemplating various ridiculousness I've encountered during the week--you know; the kind of stuff that just makes you want to shake your head, I considered creating a blog titled: "Yo, That Sh*t's F***ed Up!" Love it. It all just says so much in so few words.

Okay, so I'm rambling because I am A LITTLE BIT HYPER TODAY. Did I get a good night's sleep? Hellz no! Is the house spotless? Yeah, you're funny. Did the laundry fairy drop in and put three basket's worth of clean stuff away? Good one. Perhaps the only answer is that it is FRIDAY! Friday, the most wonderful day of anticipation, even if one actually has NOTHING to really get all hopped up about for the weekend. Oh Friday...I want to hug it and kiss it, and tuck it away in my fancy underwear drawer like a little treasure.

Why do I feel happy today? certainly isn't because this is the one year anniversary of my grandmother's death. Is it because I cried like crazy for the past two days? Maybe! Is it because les petits monstres are still not home from their little places of education? Yes, yes, that's good...oh wait, they're home. Ah well. Is it because I have a really good cup of coffee before me in my favourite mug with the snowman on it (who doesn't like a snowman??? He's wearing a scarf for heaven's sake)? Yes, that helps. Who knows. Life has been one great roller coaster lately of wondering why one day I feel great, and the next day I feel like trampled crap.

So let's take a look at the week in review:

First of all, my right leg/knee was sore for three days this week. This is because, on Monday, I had enough of Jack calling me "poo poo head," or "poo head," and decided to run full tilt after the little bugger, in order to catch him, and put him in "time out." By the way, kids get faster and faster, and by 6 years old, they're appreciably fast. So, I flew off across the uneven ground, down the side of our house, and jarred my knee. In retrospect, this is the kind of stuff that screams out to me; "HEY, YOU'RE NEARLY 40 AND YOU'RE FALLING APART!" Not good for the old self esteem.

I made an excellent pot of spaghetti and meatballs earlier in the week, that I'm still patting myself on the back for. Also, on the weekend, I made two masterful pies. Masterful, people.

Had a lovely couple of days hanging out with my sister and our kids in her backyard. Wednesday was really great, Thursday...well, not as relaxing somehow. Maybe it wasn't as relaxing because Jack and Ella were having endless slap fests in the little pool my sister had filled up. Or maybe it was because Ella took a plastic toy and smashed Jack under the eye. Perhaps things went down the toilet when my sister stepped in the house for a moment, and my 2 year old niece gagged repeatedly on a mouthful of potato chips, and then the last gag had no sound at all. I threw my beer bottle down, picked the little thing up, bum up in the air, head downward, and was pounding her back (not too hard people, that girlie is LITTLE), while running toward the house, and SHOUTED for my sister, so that she might bring her a drink to wash the chips down, if that were the problem. Set my little niece down, with my sister and I crouched at either side of her. "Are you okay?!?!?" We asked. "I oh-ay," she said happily, and I inwardly crumpled like a dish cloth. Kept my calm while my son shrieked at me for a solid five minutes for not allowing him to watch a Baby Einstein (because of too many "poo heads").

Had a nice little broken-record sermon with my husband this morning about how much I hate toys, and how there is NOT ONE ROOM IN OUR HOUSE THAT IS CLEAN. NOT ONE. THERE IS NO NICE ROOM IN THIS WHOLE HOUSE, AND THAT IS REALLY DISCOURAGING. Tidied up the living room, took out another bag of toy bits to hide in the basement for a while (I can only take so many toys, people, and yes I am so evil that I wish we had ZERO toys in the house), and now I'm going to force myself to put the clean laundry away, and then perhaps cocktail hour will start somewhere around 4:00 this afternoon. Vodka, pink lemonade, lots of ice, and a wheel of lemon floating on the top....I feel relaxation pour over me just thinking about it.


  1. Yeah... you like it because you like swears so much. For your next birthday I'm going to get you a big box of swears. ;)

  2. Oh boy you and my husband are a perfect match!!!
    Let it rip Karen!!!!
    I was thinking as i read your story ...hmm i bet when she was just getting married she was fantasing about how wonderful it will be to be married and have babies and stay home with the kids! ha ha then reality sets in!
    I love your posts!
    I really could picture you running after Jack!!!

  3. okay my spelling sucks lately I have brain dead disease besides losing my eye sight... I mean't to spell fantasizing!!

  4. oh, make no mistake--I had no idyllic visions of being a stay at home mom. I just felt it was what I should do. However, it WAS even more draining than I thought it would be!

  5. I love your posts Karen. They are so true and I need medication to get through my day ha, ha,ha, and I don't even pretend to make a meal...why bother, Justin won't eat it and let's face it Dave is a big boy, he can cook for have better things to do!

  6. Can't your friend get a better picture for her follower? It is so awful!

  7. Which friend? The one with the Grace Jones picture?

  8. thanks Diane, I'm glad you enjoy my posts!


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