Figuring out what I wanna be when I grow up.
Oop..I AM grown up...

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

4 Days Without a Computer Makes karen VEEEERRRRRY UNHAPPY

Ye Gods, how I hate change. To coin an old and ridiculous expression; this computer had more viruses in it than you could shake a stick at. Shake a stick at....seriously, that expression is making me want to go out and punch some random person. Okay, okay, too harsh. Just the same, the C drive is like an empty house now (no pictures, no pirated music! SNIFF!, no loving folder titled "blog photos"), as it has been harshly reinstalled with NOTHING.

To make matters worse, let's just say again that I HATE CHANGE. So, I'm never, ever going to choose the new-fangled "windows XP" appearance setting for my monitor/taskbar/toolbar displays. I will only ever have "classic setting." There's one problem I'm experiencing now, and I'm just about to hand it over to the man, so he can apply his calm, rational, Spock-like self to fixing it: the default font for the whole computer is squidgy and teeny, and just plain ugly to look at. Also, when I logged into my blogspot here, my pictures are all stretchy and stupid looking--you know, like when a wide-screen movie is viewed on a square TV??? NO ME GUSTA!

There are a few things I need in order that I might stay sane:

1. my one daily cup of coffee MUST be excellent.
2. nobody can bug me while I drink said coffee
3. someone else has to get rid of spiders, centipedes, bees, and other large, unidentifiable bugs
4. never mess up my eyebrows (yeah, even just thinking about someone brushing their hand DOWNWARD over my face is making me grimace)
5. the computer must always be running smoothly, and unaltered so that I can play my word scramble/scrabble games AS NEEDED
6. the top sheet of the bed must be tucked in to the mattress with a hospital corner, so that The Man (who sleeps like a maniac) can never randomly kick it out in his sleep, and wind himself up with it, leaving me either unsheeted at the feet, or completely without a sheet.
7. NO hairs stuck in my fancy bar of patchouli scented soap
8. NO toys, dollies, stuffed animals in my room, except for TEDDY, the bear I've had since I was three, who must be mashed against the left side of my face while I sleep to form a barrier of sorts, thus protecting me from rogue breezes of night breathing
9. I must always be able to find my keys and sunglasses
10. never pinch my nose. I freaking hate that.

Okay, so I must turn this computer over to my husband now, to make everything better. I've got a wicked headache just from the stress of accepting that I was the guilty party for visiting...ah, shall we call them "questionable" websites, and ignoring the anti-virus protector's pop-up warning of "THIS SITE IS BAD! IT CONTAINS HARMFUL VIRUSES, SPYWARE AND ADWARE. LEAVE NOW."



  1. Funny how we depend on something that didn't even exist 20 years ago. The only virus you could catch was, well, a lot of nasty things actually. Bad example. How you are up to speed quickly!

  2. Okay what kind of a site were you visiting?
    Only one coffee? Gawd your disciplined!! Love the other hates you listed you kill me!

  3. I can't say what kind of site I was visiting, because it casts me in a very unladylike light, ha ha ha! Sigh.
    Yes, I still think fondly of the days when there were no computers and no cell phones.


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