Figuring out what I wanna be when I grow up.
Oop..I AM grown up...

Saturday, July 17, 2010

The Week In Review

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Blech. What a week. Well, it would appear that I can't NOT blog about the little things that come and go in my life, for better or for worse. I just finished my coffee here, and it looks as though there are no takers for the second cup still warm and enticing in the pot, so I may have to just load up on caffeine today. And why the hell not? I'm utterly burnt. So, let's look back upon the week:

* Sunday afternoon to Wednesday evening: Computer is out of commission due to karen being a moron, and visiting questionable adult websites, and ignoring the virus software's warning that the site karen is visiting is bad, bad, bad. "Yeah, yeah, that's what YOU'RE here for McUseless," karen said arrogantly. Then, the big bad box popped up indicating a virus had indeed infiltrated the system. In a blind panic, karen tried in vain first to scan it into oblivion, then opened her wallet, armed herself with her credit card and forked out eighty bucks for new virus software. This was actually Saturday night, and so karen enjoyed a four hour anxiety attack complete with shivering under several blanket in bed for a while, and all because karen's stress card appears to be MAXED OUT THESE DAYS, and the slightest unresolved issue now flips karen straight over to THE DARK SIDE. Alas, it was too late by the time the new anti-virus stuff was purchased, and by Sunday afternoon, the computer was happily shutting itself down and rebooting with no human assistance.

* Wednesday: karen revisits valuable lesson; just because a child is SIX does not mean he is completely competent in bathroom hygiene. It is always shocking to see one's bath towels covered with poop, because somebody figured the towels might be more effective than toilet paper. For the record, people, that kind of stuff makes me want to turn around and march straight out the door, wordlessly, never to return again. It is also disheartening to have to say the following: "NEVER EVER WIPE YOUR BUM WITH THE BATHROOM TOWELS AGAIN."

* Thursday: had a pleasant, relaxed, incident-free visit at my sister's with the kids. She made dinner, and I highly enjoyed the pork roast and super yummy roasted potatoes. Nobody choked on any toys either, so, hooray.

* Friday: brother in law and his girlfriend were in town and called to say they'd be dropping by. Spent a frantic, sweaty hour and a half cleaning the house--flinging from room to room like a great, headless chicken, and shouting ineffectual encouragements such as; "KIDS, HELP ME CLEAN UP! YOUR UNCLE IS COMING OVER WITH N., AND WE DON'T WANT N. TO SAY; 'EW, THIS HOUSE IS A MESS, HOW EMBARRASSING!'" Had a nice visit meeting bro in law's girlfriend, but must note here that she is still in her 20's, likely wears clothes from the SINGLE DIGIT sizes racks, and is gorgeous in an exotic way. This left karen feeling frumpy and very, very much her age (if not older) for the rest of the day, and reviewing the image of herself in her white shorts and t-shirt over and over again, with her messy, second-day-clean hair. While karen is thankful that she at least didn't come out in her MOM PANTS (ie; beige capris), she may as well have been carrying out a tray with lemonade and cookies.


After this pleasant yet slightly disheartening event, karen and her kids are trucked over to a lovely park with a great big wading pool/fountain, wherein the children all have a wonderful time for TWO AND A HALF HOURS, as karen bakes in the sun, wishing she were at home in the ac'd house drinking something with vodka in it. All the while karen's father sits in a lawn chair in the shade and gushes; "isn't this great? Isn't this a wonderful place for the kids? Isn't it lovely down here?" karen thinks that she too could have a good time, if she could lounge back all day, and not have to stand pool side making sure the children don't bash out teeth on cement or get carried off by the ne'er seen pedophile. Luckily karen's sister is also there, but she's not nearly the curmudgeon that karen is, so although they can share their MOM MISERY at times, karen's sister clearly is having a perfectly good time. karen once again damns her innate tendency to be a malcontent.

And so it is now Saturday, and what I really, really want to do is spray flowers with fertilized water, and have nobody bug me for ANYTHING. Let's see if it happens.

Have a good weekend!


  1. Hope your Saturday was fine. Mine had a fantasy land idea of Marineland with another dad and our combined three sons. Hmm. What it really was, was a whine fest. At the end of the day, having dropped $90 and gone on 2 and 1/2 rides, I felt like Apu saying to Homer, "please shut up, why won't you just shut up, don't you EVER shut up?" Oh, yeah, wedged in a visit to my dying grandpa in the hospital. Yup, the dad of my aunt who just died 2 months ago. Hard to know how to support a family that cannot deal with all the latest twists in bad health news. BUT...I DID get to do gardening for a couple of hours this morning in the cool shade and breeze. Ah, let's end the comment with that.

  2. Oh Matt, you crack me up. I've lived that whine fest so many times maybe I'll start a formal festival. Loved the Simpsons reference.
    On another note, I'm sorry to hear about your grandfather. I still miss my grandmother, who passed away last May. I get to admire the perrenials she had left behind though.

  3. Your comment reminded me of something strange yesterday. I think it was a God moment. Here I am trapped in line for a kids ride that will make me dizzy enough to skip lunch, and in the adjacent 'beer garden' is an 'oompa' band playing a polka version of the Marineland theme. I thought, 'off the scale cheezy', but then the accordian player became my grandpa in my ears and I had such a wave of nostalgia it was amazing. Later that day, my grandpa died. God used a bad band at a tourist trap to speak to my heart. Your perrenials comment brought it back to mind. Thanks.

  4. Wait a wasn't Walter Ostenak (sp?) the polka king, was it??? He played at marineland when I was there. I'm sorry to hear about your grandfather.

  5. Don't know for sure. I wasn't close enough. He received an honorary doctorate the year of my convocation at Brock. Funny speaker - he had us crying with laughter. Thanks for the kind words.


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