Figuring out what I wanna be when I grow up.
Oop..I AM grown up...


Sunday, August 29, 2010

Random Thoughts After The Weekend


Sunday:


Holy frock am I tired. I've got this lousy chest cold, which otherwise is no big deal; I wake up, cough up a hairball, proceed with my day feeling like run-down crap. There are no other aches and pains, I just feel like I could climb into bed for a whole day.

Had a terrible night's sleep. The MAN had his head cranked over to the side, off his pillow and was snoring away with happy vigour. Then, at oh, about 5 AM, Ella was awake because she had peed her bed. I imagine there are kind, sympathetic Mummies who change bed sheets in the middle of the night with a sweet smile, and a "never-you-mind," but that, my friends, is NOT ME. No, I'm the scowling, scary mom. In the end, I suddenly became aware of what walking misery must look like, and decided to give that little girl a hug anyway. So, then I came back downstairs and sat on the couch in the dark, and could not sleep. I don't know about you, but at 5:30 in the morning, a simple cold suddenly means MAYBE I'M DYING. Yeah, when the sun is shining, I simply have a cold, but at 5:30 in the morning MAYBE I DON'T HAVE A CHEST INFECTION, MAYBE IT'S THE EARLY STAGES OF LUNG CANCER.

Good times.

So, I went shopping with my sister yesterday. OH, BUT WAIT--I FORGOT THE BEST PART! The kids were out at their grandparents yesterday! The house was peaceful and tidy. I had just made a lovely cup of coffee, and came to enjoy some television that had nothing to do with anything that even resembled a cartoon. So, I flipped on the TV and DIRTY DANCING WAS ON.

DING DING JACKPOT!

I freaking LOVE that movie. People, I was so happy to be sitting there in peace, and enjoying Dirty Dancing without a) the children freaking out that they want their "show" on, or b) the MAN rolling his eyes at my delight over a cheesy dance movie. I was so happy, I actually felt like crying a little bit.

Seriously though, how hot was Patrick Swayze in that movie?

"NOBODY PUTS BABY IN A CORNER!"

Lurv it.

So, then I went to this super quaint neighbouring town with my sister and bought some appealing junk, like my little decorative, inspirational dish towel (pictured above--I scanned it in just for y'all). I did pop in to one over-priced clothing shop hoping (in vain) to find a skirt or dress for THAT WEDDING that's approaching. There was nobody else shopping in the store, and I have to admit the clothes were quite nice. Even more encouraging was that THIS PORKCHOP OF A WOMAN FIT INTO THEIR SIZE 16 SKIRTS. SIXTEEN, PEOPLE, BOO-YAH!
As I was trying on clothes, the two sales ladies were flinging themselves around the store, DESPERATELY trying to find something that would fit me. You could almost smell the hunger for the sale. I have no problem with this, I was dressed fairly funky that day, and was having a really fun time playing the role of "upscale, choosy/snooty shopper." Yeah! Little did they know that normally my greatest thrill is a $4 t-shirt courtesy of the Great Wal of Evil. To continue, the ladies kept bringing me different potentials, most of them hideous. I tried on a couple of skirts though and just loved them. One was black, and had some little red details on it, that not only transformed my pudge into something sorta sexy, but would have looked HAWT with my as-yet-unworn red retro-ish heels. Skirt looked great, but I would neither be able to sit down at the wedding, nor eat. I lamented a few times to the ladies; if only the skirts were just a tiny bit bigger, or I was just a tiny bit smaller. And then the one sales lady made my day:

lady: "when is the wedding?"
me: "next weekend."
lady (suddenly inspired): "do you think maybe you could lose some weight for it?"

Now, this question disgusted my dad in the retelling, but I don't care. I think it's hilarious. Yeah, maybe I could lose A POUND in a week, and it will make a difference. Good one!

Monday:

What you don't realise, gentle readers, is that I had to finish typing up this useless little blog TODAY because yesterday while I was happily blogging away, it was melt-down city in this house. Yes, there was a nice little scene of Jack losing his marbles because he didn't want to have a TIME OUT, and he didn't want Daddy to PUT HIS MARKERS AWAY as a consequence for calling his father an A$$. It's nothing but good times in this house, peeps. Okay, okay, now everyone's gasping in horror, and I have been working on, and continue to work on ways to impress upon a 6 year old who has no fear, the gravity and importance of never calling your parents names. In fact, as I type this I'm hopefully waiting for a local gateway to childrens' behavioural services to call me up for a little chitty-chat. So there, all is not lost people, have no fear.

I did EXTRA enjoy the wine at my brother's last night though...just saying. Oh, and the peach upside-down cake I crafted up with my own little brain was MASTERFUL.

And so now I am off to a local outlet mall to see if there is something that

a) FITS
b) doesn't cost a fortune, and,
c) F*I*T*S

Sigh. I'll be wearing that stale dress in my closet come Sunday. Let's put money on it.



7 comments:

  1. stale dress could be hawt dress with some new accessories, and ear rings don't just come in extra small! the adults in our house are sick too,its good that the kids aren't, but you can only lay on the sofa with one eye open,for so long before someone wants to strangle someone else. ow my head, need to lay down with both eyes closed. hope you feel better soon.

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  2. Let me quess...you went to NOTL!! I love it there!
    The wall of evil is where i have to buy my groceries...cheapest place around this area!
    What did Peter make for dinner? Hey how come him and Patty aren't followers?

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  3. Karen i am trying to add to the bottom of my posts the "What you might like" thing where you can see older posts. For the life of me i can not find how to do it!

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  4. Pam, there's a link for it, with karen-friendly instructions on how to install the "link within."

    http://www.linkwithin.com/learn

    Peter made steaks the other night, and a lovely tomato salad. I made a pasta salad and a yummy upside-down peach cake.

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  5. Yeah, Paula--well it just may be that I'll be settling for that dress. They're just bloody hard to find.

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  6. Hahaha, your anecdotes always make me laugh!

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  7. thanks Jen. It's only going to get funnier too, as I'm about to head out again today on the continued hunt.

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