Only Crust Man knows the vast secrets the universe holds.
Crust Man knows exactly how many sandwiches I've made in the past three years, but I'm too afraid to ask him.
Crust Man knows how much dirt and crumbs are waiting, RIGHT NOW, under my stove and refrigerator.
Crust Man knows the most useful thing to do with crusts.
Crust Man also knows that karen woke up at 4:00 because she thought, or dreamed, or actually heard a noise that sounded exactly like small bare feet hitting the floor following an enthusiastic leap out of bed.
karen is cracking. Did Crust Man mention this?
Oh Crust Man, you're a scream.