Figuring out what I wanna be when I grow up.
Oop..I AM grown up...


Tuesday, December 14, 2010

EFF THAT

Allow me to reiterate about how much I

HATE WINTER.


It's snowing like mad out again, and it's cold.  It's frigging cold.  Let me see here...it's
-8 degrees Celsius, but it feels like -17 (or 1.4 degrees Farenheit, if that means more to you).  How do they arrive at this "feels like" number???  I would be more inclined to put it this way:  "-8 degrees C, feels like SHIT...yeah, that's right, I actually swore (* in my blog, that is--when I'm alone in the car, I turn into salty sailor karen, and I likes it that way.  The kids, sadly, hear me exclaim "SHIT!" all the time, and recently I tried to soften my bad ways by saying "SHITE" instead, which Jack loved so much, he has to wistfully remind me of that word every now and then:  "Hey Mom, remember when you said 'shite?' Chuckle, chuckle, chuckle."  Sigh).

After walking Jack to school, then shovelling the driveway this morning, with the scarf and the hat and all the gear on, I came in the kitchen, sat down and slowly the sweat evaporated from my body.  And left me frozen.  Yes, I was frozen, and had an OVERWHELMING URGE to climb into my bed and go to sleep.  I have no idea how I fought that feeling off. 

I usually take Ella to the local early years centre with my sister and my little niece on Tuesday mornings.  I decided not to be a total wimp, and with a great sob, I started getting ready to head back into the cold.  Ella had brushed her teeth and was just downstairs about to put her boots on, when she started doing that HORRENDOUS HACKCOUGH that she does.  So, she's downstairs hacking away:  "AAAAAY-HEH!  AAAAAAAAAAY-HEH!!!!" and then The Man said:  "oh, Ella!"  And then Ella was crying.  Turns out there are people in this world who are can actually throw up if they cough hard enough, and Ella is one of them.  After Ella hurled all over her clean shirt and the kitchen floor, she came upstairs happily to get a new shirt, while The Man gagged loudly downstairs as he cleaned up the hurl. 



Sorry, but TOTALLY HILARIOUS.  He said "it" was "bits of baloney and phlegm."  Yes, I know: you didn't need to know that.  You're thanking me for sharing that information.  I can't help it though; I find throwing up and throwing up stories to be completely hilarious.  Does this make sense:  barfing is SO horrible that it's funny??? 
image reference

By the time Ella got a new shirt, and we got into all that extra clothing, we were really getting late.  Then, after I cleaned the car for 5 minutes, we were even later.  Then, as we were inching through the neighbourhood to get to the main road, and it was a total white-out, and the streets were wicked slippery, I had a total temper tantrum as only PMS/Winter Hating karen can:

"WHY AM I EVEN DOING THIS?!?  IT'S FREEZING, THE ROADS ARE TERRIBLE AND I CAN HARDLY SEE TO DRIVE!!!  THAT'S IT!  I'M GOING HOOOOOOOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" 

Man, I hate winter. 

2 comments:

  1. tHROWING UP STORIES...i FIND THEM FUNNY TOO...but ITS HAPPENS TO ME..IT TAKES A GOOD FEW MONTHS TO FIND THEM FUNNY...LIKE WHEN MY DEAR HUBBY HAD VERY HIGH BLOOD SUGAR ADN WAS OUT INTHE HEAT ALL DAY...WE WAS IN BED ADN RAN TO TEH BATHROOM...EXPLOSION OF RED GOBS EVERYWHERE...EVERYWHERE BUT WHERE IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN...HE QUIETLY WENT RIGHT BACK TO BED, LEAVING ME TO GAG AND GAG AND GAG CLEANIG IT UP. PUMPHF.
    I HEAR YA...I WILL AGREE WITH YOU TIL THE BITTER END OF WINTER...I TOO, HATE THIS CRAPPY SNOWY, COLD WEATHER!
    OPPS, SORRY BOUTTHE CAPS, I AM WORK ADN HAVE TO USE CAPS ALOT...FORGOT. i AM NOT YELLING AT YOU! :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. but Steph--why were the "gobs" RED????

    It cracks me up how you secretly type these replies from work!

    ReplyDelete

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