Figuring out what I wanna be when I grow up.
Oop..I AM grown up...

Monday, December 6, 2010

Monday Morning, With Really Stupid Hair

It's snowing.  It's snowing A LOT.  I could even be hyperbolic and say, it's coming down in GREAT @$$LOADS.  Oh wait, is that hyperbole or just good old fashioned grouchiness...must ponder this...

Anyhow, there are those of you out there who peer out your window and see the snow coming down like crazy and you get excited.  You giggle, and clasp your hands with joyous anticipation, and if you could, you would clap your hands together as you did when you were a little kid and say "ohgoodygoodygoody!!!"  And then, filled with that child-like SNOW LOVE, you might even go put on a Christmas cd, and get out that 500th box of Christmas TCHOTSHKES, and cram them on to that last remaining square inch of your home that isn't festooned with Christmas goodness.  And then you'll stand back, and admire, cradling your hot chocolate with the marshmallow melting in it, and feel that MAGIC SPOT, somewhere between your gut and your heart, that you've ALWAYS HAD at this time of year, that is strong, and resilient and can never be stamped down by LIFE. 

And all the while, the snow will continue to fall, fall, fall, and you won't care that you just finished shovelling the freaking driveway, and the snow plow jerk just came by and built you a nice three foot wall, which if you try to throw your car in reverse and BLAST ON THROUGH will result in you being stuck with 2/3 of your car on the road, and 1/3 on the driveway, so for the next five minutes you'll have to RRRRRR backward, then RRRRR forward, then RR backward, and RR forward, etc, etc.  All the while you'll be steaming up the car, and you won't be able to see out your back window, because a) you're totally frustrated, and b) you're SUPA SWEATY HOT from the cumbersome thick coat, hat, scarf, and gloves you've been forced to wear.  Finally you'll get out of your car, and try to dig your way out with that crappy shovel you have that's really only good for pushing feather-light drifts of snow--not the wet, fifty pound sludge we have here. 
But, it's either that snow pusher piece of crap or your ten pound garden spade, which is really only good for chiselling through ice. 

Oh, and your back will be sore tomorrow when you wake up from shovelling the driveway.  You're not 20 anymore, and if you've popped out a few kids, there are some magic bones and connective workings down there that never properly melded back together again. 

I don't begrudge y'all your Christmas spirit.  If you must know the truth, I envy it. I too once had the spirit of the holidays deep in my guts.  Sadly, I think a good chunk of it got trampled out the first time I worked Christmas in the casino.  Pretty hard to be cheery, as I imagined my family sitting cozily at home eating cinnamon buns, while some jerk with a cigarette dangling off their lip shoved a $5 bill at me and grunted:  "TOKENS."  Not, "Merry Christmas dear, may I have five dollars worth of tokens please?"  No, no, none of that.  And perhaps there were some of those ever-present slobolas yelling; "LET'S GET ANOTHER WINDOW OPEN HERE!" because it was freaking busy, and all I wanted to shout was:


I also envy people who see the snow falling endlessly and say something asinine like; "AWESOME!  I'll be able to ski soon!  Wicked!  I can't WAIT to get my skis out!"  You might also be the type of look-on-the-bright-side-glass-is-half-full type of person who'll cheerfully say; "I like this snow better than the rain."  Well let me tell you, I do not.  I never have to shovel the rain.  I never have to scrape the rain off my windshield, and the rain doesn't get tracked in the back door in little surprise clumps that soak my sock. 

This morning, after a ten minute wrestle, helping Jack get into

1) snowpants

2) winter coat with hood zipped back on
3) boots
4) waterproof mittens
5) scarf
6) hat
7) brand-spanking-new winter boots

and then, when he was finally dressed, I shoved on my own boots and assorted winter gear.  All the while Jack's outside saying; "MOM, hurry UP!  COME ON Mom!  Why is Mom TAKING SO LONG?" we were 2/3 of the way to school when Jack asked; "are my shoes in my bag?"

I think you know the answer to that question.

Trudge back home, get the shoes, shuffle on back to school, get a "late slip," help the boy get all that stuff with his teacher and the education assistant who helps Jack out (lovely woman by the way), and then I shuffle on back home.  I pulled the hat off my sweaty head, took one look in the mirror and saw that thanks to saturating snow I had a large blob of mascara under my eye (that was more than likely there whilst I chatted with the teachers) and really, really stupid hair.

It's still snowing.  


  1. hahaha. Oh Karen... Snow is an ADVENTURE! An ADVENTURE to be HAD by ALL! Go get your snow gear on (again) right now and lay down and make a snow angel and just tell me... TELL me you didn't enjoy it.

  2. The epitome of snow.

    I dread the snow because driving in it scares the #@$2 out of me. I like snow on the prairies.

    But it sure looks beautiful!

  3. blech. Once in a blue moon I like the snow--ESPECIALLY if I don't have to go anywhere at all. However, tell me it doesn't BLOW when the roads are super greasy with thick, brown snow, the traffic is horrendous, and it takes you half an hour to get to your local shopping place to fight your way around the slippy parking lot just so's you can do some Christmas shopping???

    However, I wouldn't mind a proper wooden FIND YOUR SKATES!

  4. See Berries, you've hit the nail on the head: it's the driving in it that truly bites.

  5. we don't have any snow in beamsville, yet another reason to move to our booming metropolis! i really hate the gross snow that gets stuck in the wheel well of the car, sometimes i let it build up just to see how big it can get,before the car won't move...ahhh good times.

  6. We had flurries over the weekend, flakes in the air. Nothing on the ground of course. The boys were so excited that school could be closed. :| They have never known the joy of taking shoes to school or wearing 2 pairs of socks.

    Heck, if the news says there may be snow the grocery stores are packed and you can't get milk or bread. Fun times.

  7. I was very surprised see that aweful stuff all over! *shudder* I HATE winter driving!! so, I left for work about 20 minutes earlier then normal...driving in teh falls yesterday morning was so gross!! Getting on the QEW was scary as teh enterance handt been plowed...Sandplant hill was nasty...get to teh skyway...NOTHING!! All the way to Grimsby...NOTHING! I was sooo shocked! today, Grimsby stil has nothing! crazy!
    I like snow if i do no t have to drive anywhere!! After my thanks! However, I do love ice skating and making snow angels with the kiddos.

  8. I loved this post and i had to read it to Ray! We were laughing bringing back memories of him plowing for 6hrs then having to do all the neighbours...coming in to warm up then the plow would come by!
    Yes he loved it lol ...he shudders watching the weather channel.
    But i am sooo missing it! It feels like a rainy spring day in March right now! I want snow!

  9. Paula, I have a fascination/revulsion with that hunk of snow too. There is something satisfying about kicking that brown hunk off from behind the wheel. No snow for you guys? Well, aren't you lucky!

  10. Lisa, I've not forgotten the panic that a dusting of snow brought to your city last winter. That is funny though that you don't have to worry about the separate-pair-of-shoes-at-school clause.

  11. Steph, that's exactly it--nice if you don't have to go anywhere. Every time I stopped at a stop sign or light last night, I could feel the anti-lock breaks KICKING IN. Sheesh--I was barely going 40 as well. Annoying.

  12. Well Pam, it's true that as it gets closer to Christmas, there really should be snow. I don't mind if it snows like hell while the kids are off school, but then it can melt if it likes as soon as they have to go back.

  13. Everyone, come live in Beamsville, land of dry driveways! Ur, until a Noreaster hits...but let's not think about that.

  14. yeah, my mother-in-law also confirms they have no snow. Hmph. Oh well, it did look pretty this morning, all sparkly and powdery.

  15. Its a whole different world here in Grimsby as well..its not even as cold as the falls...strange...makes for a fun drive in to work! And a sad drive home...going into winter wonderland :(
    When Aim adn I were kids winter was an awesome time. We used to play outside all day long in that crappy white stuff. Cohen wanted to play outside with me teh other night...and you know, i wasnt as excited about it as she was. I am sticking with...Snow...pretty to look at...crappy to drive in.

  16. yeah, Steph, I like to say that I stopped loving snow when I stopped wearing snow pants. It was pretty this morning though--as long as the roads and sidewalks are bone dry, I don't mind if there's a mountain in my yard.


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