Where to begin...okay, my sister invited me over earlier in the day for dinner at her house. She was making some nice chicken soup, and filled up the decent sized kiddie pool for the kids. C'mon over and have some fun. Hm, I still wanted to find that un-findable dress though, so I made a deal with THE MAN: I would go to a local outlet store I hadn't been to yet, and when I returned, would whisk the kids away for fun at their aunty's, and he would enjoy utopic solitude.
So, off I went in the thousand degree heat. Incidentally, does anybody really like this heat??? Does anyone like it when their car feels like a freaking oven, and just leaving the house turns you into a shiny-faced mess? But I digress. The local outlet mall is comprised of several BRAND NAME DESIGNER outlet shops, including Tommy Hilfiger, Guess, and Jones New York to name a few. Supposedly these little sattelite shops offer better deals than their bloated-price regular stores. Supposedly. Surely, I thought, one of these frou-frou, hoity-toity shops will have a dress, right?
The next store was a Tan Jay/Alia hybrid, and I can only say that while the sales lady seemed nicer, I detected a note of futility in her voice. Like, her "hi there," actually meant; "you can have a look, but these clothes are for older frumpy ladies who are shaped like squares." Okay, if anybody has shopped at Alia or TanJay and loves their clothes, my apologies. Personally, when I popped in there, the clothes were hideous. No wait, I don't apologise. If you're in your 20's, 30's or 40's, there is no need to dress like you're in your 70's, and I don't know who decided it was a great fashion idea to sew a faux necklace directly onto a shirt.
Moving along...said forget it to the Levis outlet, and also forget it to Garage as I am not a stick, also passed by the SOCK OUTLET, because--Really??? Skipped over the Oshkosh outlet since the kids are better dressed than I am already. Then I apparently lost my mind and decided to have a look-see in ESCADA. Hm...thought my brain...wait a minute...Escada..Escada...sounds familiar...oh yes, didn't they have a designer ESCADA Barbie at one point? (Reader should note that karen had a raging Barbie doll addiction for a few years, but luckily reigned herself in a long time back). So, it was one of THOSE stores, wherein the sales ladies don't even bother greeting you, and there are only about four long racks of clothes anyway. Decided I didn't need a fuscia wool dress, and also figured that if there is a "90% off" rack greeting you as you enter the store, chances are the prices aren't even worth considering. And so I didn't. And so I got the rock out of there.
At this point, I was completely annoyed. I wanted to return to all of these stores (except the TanJay one--that lady was nice), and remind the beyotches working in all of these places, that while they think they are the cream of society, they are still JUST CASHIERS SERVING THE IDIOT PUBLIC SO THEY SHOULD REALLY JUST TAKE IT DOWN A NOTCH AND GET A REALITY CHECK.
Wandered listlessly into the Body Shop outlet, and since I love bath stuff, cheered myself up with a bottle of lemon bath wash (smelled lurvely). The annoying part was that only the sub-par scents were actually offered at a discount. Anything popular or good was full price. Sucked in karen, take your bath wash and get out.
Shuffled into Guess. Shuffled right back out.
In desperation, I crossed back to the other side of the square, again, to give Hilfiger a try. Hey, wait a minute--am I wrong or do the clothes their just look like THE GAP, and if the Gap is overpriced, aren't these boring preppy clothes kind of ludicrously priced? Pfft.
here endeth this rant
Oh, but wait, before heading off to my sister's, I surveyed the many bags lying around the floor filled with children's clothes, yet again. Are you like me? Do you have to bring a change of clothes for your children whenever you go to someone's home, because they may spill something on themselves, become mysteriously soaked or just pee their pants because they were too lazy to go to the can, and by the time they try to hustle in there it's too late? Oh, and do you have bags of new clothes for school lying around waiting to be dealt with that you didn't even buy? Oh, and do you have stacks and stacks of clothes that the children have perhaps already worn, or rejected as a choice for that day, or wore to bed the night before, and they never find their way up to their rightful places because you are tired, and you have decided you shoud drop everything and force the little people out for some sort of exercise, or you only had four hours of sleep, and you can't find it in you to get motivated into cleaning that pile again because you just cleaned it two days ago, and your house was spotless then, and now it once again looks like you never, ever clean? AND, is there a bundle of sheets and a comforter waiting for you to wash it because the bed was peed, but you have no idea when you're going to get to it because you just washed a MONSTROUS amount of dishes that waited for you since yesterday when you made a pasta salad and a cake to bring to your brother's for a Sunday family gathering?
Well, that was when I had a small, immature fit and just started freaking out about the CLOTHES, CLOTHES, CLOTHES, EVERYWHERE CLOTHES, and dumped all the bags into a pile on the floor, while your husband dances around exhasperated admonishing you with; "well, don't lose the receipts!" Not a pretty sight, I have to admit.
So, when I got home, I pretended I had no children, and retreated to the relative safety of the computer nook here and had a nice little pity party. What did I think of? Well, invariably, when my children and especially my poor, issue-riddled son, have a rang, I think back to the parking lot at my daughter's nursery school. A girl I went to highschool with has a son who attended the nursery school as well. One morning, as I was dropping Ella off, this woman and her son were sitting in the car together, having a breakfast picnic. This woman is very pretty, has a real-life grownup CAREER. She also has funky hair, great clothes, is still slim and even worse--is a GENUINELY NICE, LOVELY person. So, she was sitting there having this picnic with her little boy who is sweet, quiet, and shy. "Here honey, " she said; "have another blueberry." No fighting. No flipping out. I'm not going to make the obvious life comparisons, I'll just let you mull over that image. All I will say is that life, for some people, is clearly VASTLY different.