Figuring out what I wanna be when I grow up.
Oop..I AM grown up...


Thursday, January 13, 2011

It's PMS TIME, MOTHERF*$#ERS


PMS karen:

1) wants to be left alone.  A*L*O*N*E.  Is that REALLY so much to ask?

2) wants to put this entire post in ALL CAPS.


3) is relieved:  now she doesn't have to kill anyone, because The Man presented a bag of chocolate covered almonds when he came home from karate

4) finds The Man handsome, witty and snuggly when she does NOT have PMS, but when she does have PMS, she talks to him thusly:

"I can't abide your PIGHEADEDNESS ANY LONGER." 
Somehow the Man doesn't warm up to this kind of talk. 

5) Wonders if children, ever, ever just stop talking?!?

6) has ditched the bra for the evening.  She would also like to stomp on it, pee on it, and then burn it just for being the unbearable little knife that it is after wearing it all day.

7) will not shave her legs this entire 2 weeks of hormonal suffering, because really, there's no point.


8) shrieks too much at this time o' the month.

9) has worn the same knubby, fleecy, lint-magnet, frumpola black pants for two days, and even shlepped over to pick the boy up from school in them, and she does NOT CARE

10) has been toying with a new dessert idea... COOKIE PIE!  It's bound to be a winner.

12 comments:

  1. hahaha gotta love PMS week! What I want to know is why the man finds me attractive at this time of the month? Can he not understand I DONOT want to be touched!!!!!!!!! It drives me bonkers.
    Wine always helps...lots of wine!!!
    I think I'm wearing the same pants as you...

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  2. Your blog is HYSTERICAL!! I so needed the laughs tonight! Thank you, thank you, thank you!

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  3. let me know how that cookie pie turns out. my turn for pms is right around the corner & i could use a fresh munchie.

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  4. Pam, maybe you seem extra attractive due to the "hard to get" factor? I'm fairly certain my husband does NOT find me attractive at this time of the month, and not because of my physical appearance, har har.

    I'll probably have one therapeutic whisky tonight, for the sake of my family.

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  5. well thank you Anonymous! When I log into my email, it tells me if I have comments on a post, and from whom. So, when I saw that I had a comment from "Anonymous," my first thought was; "oh no...I shouldn't have let PMS karen put 'motherf*$#ers' in the title. I may have offended someone.'"

    PMS karen, of course, doesn't give a $hit.

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  6. Okay Sherilin--the experiment will happen within the next few days, I'm sure.

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  7. hot waterbottle and a big bowl of icecream helps alot!i like to get away from the kiddies and go to a movie all by myself, i used to feel sorry for the people watching movies alone, now i just know they are stressed out parents![don't foreget the popcorn with xtra butter]

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  8. geez...why DON'T I got to the movies by myself more often? That is GOOD TIMES. Now I have to check and see if any chick flicks that don't look horrid are playing.

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  9. Oh, Karen. You've lept from the poops to the PMS.

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  10. No no no Matt! You've mistaken yourself... she has leapt from poops, boobs and THEN PMS... hehehe

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