Figuring out what I wanna be when I grow up.
Oop..I AM grown up...

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Nobody Told Me

 How tired I'd be all the time in becoming a parent.  How I'd almost never get a good night's sleep, and how even if the whole family goes to bed too late, the kids will still have 10 times more energy than I the next day.

How horrendous the VERY FIRST POOP a baby produces is--especially when it arrives at some ungodly hour in the middle of the night. 

How someone could actually cut me open with scissors as I push a baby out of me, and I wouldn't even realise because my lower half was just one great nether region of pain.

That there would be times I'd be in the emergency room, wilted with worry, because my child had a 104 degree fever that acetaminophen wouldn't touch.

That there would be times I'd be in the emergency room, wilted with worry, because my child vomited every 10 minutes for 17 hours straight.

that children could actually frustrate you so much, you go into your room, close the door, and cry. 

that children are so over-run by colds, flu, viruses, earaches, and throat infections during the first few years of their lives, that they can become white, thin and frail, with their backbones prominently visible as they shiver out of their clothes and into their pyjamas. 

that I would grow up and forget nearly all my fairytale worlds and girlish joy

Old fears of monsters and the dark would be replaced with fears of illness, cancer, whether my child is making friends at school, and if other children are being cruel.


My Mother once told me how I would feel when the time came that I would decide I'd never have more children,

and she was right. 


  1. That is until they get old enough that they grow out of all those illnesses , you get sleep, they eat all their food, and then the thought comes 'Gee I want more, they are so cute'

    just like the pain of childbirth you forget all that stuff.

  2. You know maybe if I experienced at least of a third of this it would have killed my HUGE desire for more children. Maybe it would take the pain away of never being able to have anymore. My labour was so easy I still joke about it. He was an easy baby, toddler and now an easy young tween...yeah people say blah you are blessed but dam it I wanted one more at least for him!
    I enjoy reading your angst on this it has to one day put me off wanting more!!! lol !!!

  3. Again, this sh*t should be put in a " Welcome to Motherhood" handbook and given to you just after you have your baby. No one really TELLS you this stuff...or they do adn becasue "we" are not at that stage in or lives when told, that we really didnt listen or care. Its sometimes hard to relate and feel teh pain of others if you havent lived through it yourself.
    If my mom would have told me 10 years ago that there would be nights that I would be soo desprite for sleep and my kids would not go bed fo rme...I would have said , Oh ok...i am sure i can handle it...NOW living it...Oh MY!! there are nights I actually scream hoping it will bring sleep! Rich and high fived each other last night, as both...yes BOTH of our little darlings were in in bed adn asleep by 8pm! Yes...freedom! Whoot whoot!...until 9:30 Co woke up screaming and WOULD NOT GO BACK TO SLEEP!! Oh the horror...our tv date night flew out the window...we tried everything to put this child back to bed...she wouldnt have any of it. By 11pm I was done. She wasn't...she climbed right out of her crib, joined us in our bed...and sang us to sleep. Not my idea of a good nights sleep...or tv date night with dear one warns you of this stuff...the feeling of I just want this to go my way! Our pre-mature high five was laughing at us the whole night :(
    Mr. Ben on the other hand was in bed sleeping this whole time (yes!) and was up at 6:30 all happy and ready to play, turning every light on in the house and the TV so loud I am sure it woke my parents up across the street! Perhaps could we bottle this feeling up and han it out as a warning that parenting is a tough job??
    And worrying about them...oh teh worrying. It seems to hit me at all hours of the day(or night) Or when you see your little crying becasue some "isnt his friend anymore" Oh the heartbreak...

  4. oh my can i relate! as i am stuck here at home ALL DAY with sick kids who do not think naps were made for them, only other moms kids. have you ever had a day where the clock actually seems to be going backward,that is today people!

  5. actually though, what my Mom told me is that I'd get to a certain point, after deciding not to have more kids, and wish I could have more kids. So, she was right.

    I still like Melissa's scenario though...

  6. heartbreak is right, Steph--an endless amount of it, it seems. I was riveted to your story of your TV date night being killed. Why on earth was Co up at 9:30?!? Oh man, I'd have been crying.

  7. parenting is so very much different than i'd ever imagined. i have a girl who hates most girlie things. she's easy with the food & sleeping, but so many other things are torture with her. but the wonderful, fabulousness that i find in being her mom somehow manages to outshine the shit almost every day. and some days, it's a good thing she's cute. cuz otherwise, i wouldn't even be able to look at her.
    karen, you want more? my desire for more went away after my second miscarriage. thank GOD!

  8. I think she had a bad dream...she was Miss Suckpants after that! Crying...yup there was crying on my part...I really LOVE my kid free time.
    I do love my kids and being a mom...its such a joy and I have really good kids ( most of the time) Do I want way! But when I see a newborn baby...i melt and I think my woman parts flutter a bit....but i think of...the boobs and how they hurt and NEver sleeping and crying and not really knowing why...another heart to mend when broken, the number of visits to teh Dr, Er etc goes up...and I am happy with my boy and girl.

  9. Paula--I have definitely had those days. You know it's going to be a long one when you look at the clock and say "NINE THIRTY?!?" and it's only the morning.

  10. Sherilin, I was shocked to find I have some regret about being all done having babies. ME, OF ALL PEOPLE. Still, it's the end of a kind of beautiful, youthful chapter in a woman's life. Onward to menopause!

    And you're right--some days if they weren't cute, I'd pack them a mini suitcase and send them on their way, har har.

  11. Oh, and I'm sorry about your miscarriage. I can only imagine the terrible heartache.

  12. Good points, Steph. What I think of is the 4 AM feeding. That pretty much makes me feel better. Oh, and the diapers...starting another diaper mountain?!? Shudder...

  13. No matter how cute my little girl acts, or how amazed at what my boy can now pull off, I am so done with adding to the child pile. Although we started out with a 'no kids ever' policy, so we are doing infinately better than that.

  14. no kids ever, eh? Well, look at how it all turned out then, Matt! Interesting, these twists of fate, no?


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