Typing on Dad's laptop while in Florida....
Okay, should anyone's vacation start at 2:20 in the morning?!? That, my friends is the time that the airbus came to pick me up to take me to the Buffalo airport. So, at 1:30, I got tired of laying in bed with a racing heart, and decided to stop doing the old jitter jive and just get up for crying out loud. I dragged my pasty, shivering self out of bed and into the dark, cold house. Does anyone feel remotely good at that hour if they're used to being asleep, and if they can't really take late nights any longer?!? Does a chicken sandwich actually sound like a good idea at that hour? It did at dinner time, but it turned into one great big sawdust sandwich at 2 of the A.M.
Off into the cold we went. And oh, was it cold. The next stop was to pick up my sister, who matched me in exhausted pastiness, and my nieces. Then it was off to pick up another lady, and then onward to the airport. The other lady was quite chatty, and willing to share many details:
new travelling buddy: "I hit the snooze alarm twice this morning."
me: "you could sleep?!?!?"
new travelling buddy: "Yeah, I pounded a bunch of beers so I could sleep before I went to bed."
a little later...
new travelling buddy: "I told all my friends; 'I'm comin' back black.'"
me (a tad perplexed): "oh, yes?"
new travelling buddy: "yeah, I've got this tan accellerator. It makes ya go soooooo dark! You can actually feel it tingling on your skin."
when I told this to my sister she said;
"what? Tingling with CANCER???"
People. So funny.
I would like to point out that when we got to the airport, the strap of my purse IMMEDIATELY popped off, and bits that held it together went clattering across the floor. That sucked.
The flight to Florida seemed fairly long and tedious, and the little bag of cookies I chose were fairly gross. Butter crunchers. Yech.
I would also like to point out that as soon as we got to Florida, we used the washroom at the airport (all that Dunken' Donuts coffee makes one need to pee) and my PERIOD showed up. What a kick in the ass: hey, you're in Florida now, so let the fun begin!
That really sucked.
The view from the condo is absolutely stunning: a large balcony looking out to the ocean. Give me a break--who lives like this??? There is bouganvillea growing at the entranceway of the condo, and palm trees everywhere. Beautiful.
We went for a swim in the salt water pool first. Since it was about 2:00, or greater than 12 hours since I'd had a decent amount of sleep, I was having a very hard time tamping down the overwhelming need to weep, thanks to my Mom not being here to see all this tropical beauty. This too shall pass.
Fort Myers has a smell. I am cursed with ridiculously strong sense of smell, and I can smell this smell everywhere, and nobody else can really detect it. It's kind of a mixture of public toilet water and weird, processed bread, and some mysterious spice. The condo reeks of it. The whole area reeks of it. The pina coladas my sis and I had at the bar tonight had whiffs of it. When we went to the grocery store, the bread aisle nearly knocked me over. Damn you, nose!!!!!!!
Actually, this reminds me of the first time I went to Mexico, and became acquainted with that most heinous of herbs: CILANTRO. The first night in the restaurant they served traditional Mexican food and it was filled with cilantro. I was horrified. I could smell it everywhere: on the people, coming out of their houses when they opened the door...It took some getting used to. Seriously, if you're a freak like I am, these little stupid things become much bigger.
Anyway--speaking of the grocery store, it is endlessly fascinating the differences there are between Canada and the U.S. Y'all have a product called "Goober" or something like that, made by Smuckers. It's a mixture of peanut butter and jam in one jar. Fine, but does anyone want a goober sandwich? I think not.
I can hear the ocean as I type. Everyone else is in bed. My sister is trying to sleep on the sh*tty pull out couch. Do they always, always suck? I tried lying on it after we put the sheets on, and it was so horrid I laughed till tears squirted out.
Back at home there is a cold weather alert. Apparently it's really brutal (what else is new). I was floating on my back, looking up at palm trees. Life is weird. I miss my Mom, The Man, and the kids. Cocktails made things better for a while, but now crushing fatigue is winning.
Last bit of info of the day: the condo is gungy and I've discovered I'm a bit of a total princess, because the town is slightly skidly, and it makes me nervous, and I don't like the dirt and grime in the condo, and I can't rough it enough to sleep on the pull out couch. Sigh. I am what I am, and that's all that I am.
Question: would I go on a vacation with ME? Hmm...must ponder this...okay, maybe I would. Aside from my need for things to be nice and clean, and not worry overly about random locals wanting to mug me (it's a girl thing! I swear!), I tidy up after myself and don't take up too much space. I do, however, take way too much bathroom time to try to convert myself from HIDEOUS to passable.
Real conversations heard in vacationville:
Me (eating a super fun American candy bar!!): "Dad, you wanna bite of my 'Whatchamacallit'?"
Dad: "no thanks honey, I've got this something or other."
Ha ha! No? Come on, doesn't everyone remember those stupid "Whatchamacallit" commercials? I just lived a real one. My dad was totally oblivious. Okay, I thought it was funny, but then I've been sleeping on a bed that feels like its balanced on a two-by-four: roll to far to the right or left, and all will be lost!
okay, last night my sis and bro in law came back from a walk to 7 Eleven and it was raining out a bit when they went. Well, they REEKED of that smell that I've been detecting everywhere. REEKED OF IT, I TELLS YA! Finally, they could kinda sorta smell it too. What the eff? Am I a total freak???
Right now I have my hair loaded with anti-humidity gel. I seem to be the only one in our group walking around looking like a tard with a bad perm. OH wait..my dad has some pretty funky hair too. Thanks for the genes there dad.
It is Friday. It's raining, and chilly enough to require a little jacket. Boo!!! We are going to some place called the Imaginarium today. I will not be the one sticking my hands into any interactive water tanks to touch any ocean creatures. Ha ha..I'm only fun when it's cocktail hour! By the way...I rigged up the best refridgerator pina colada yesterday, and I also made a killer quickie spaghetti dinner. Yeah, I am awesome. Oh...erm...yeah...I'm on vacation and I'm cooking for everyone. FREAK. Well, you can take the girl away from drudgery, but you can't take the drudgery from the girl.
My sis has been taking pictures of this little vacay, so I can't wait to see just how hideous I am! Hooray!