Figuring out what I wanna be when I grow up.
Oop..I AM grown up...


Friday, February 25, 2011

The PIT of despair

You there! 

Yes, YOU.  I see you.  You're in the PIT OF DESPAIR.  How do I know?  Oh, I've been there too.  And I feel your pain. 

You're really tired of this:



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And this:


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And this:





And you've had it UP TO HERE with this:

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 And this:

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You don't even want to think about this:



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You can't sleep at night, because you constantly worry about this:


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and this:



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And secretly you obsess about this, even though you have the odd "I LOVE MYSELF, JUST THE WAY I AM" moments:


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And you're so, so tired, but even though you just wanted to f*cking lie down and read that book with that oh-so-sexy Scottish Highlander in it, and fantasize about GREAT BIG SCOTTISH MEN WHO WEAR KILTS, AND TAKE WHAT THEY WANT WHEN THEY WANT, AND ROAM WILD AND UNTAMED, you made dinner. 


And got THIS response:


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You need a break. You need to get OUT OF HERE. You need to hop in your now-dented car, and drive until that thing runs out of gas. Let somebody else worry about it right?



Yeah, I hear you girlfriend. I hear you.

14 comments:

  1. i frequently refer to my purse and my house & my van as the pits of despair. but i'm afraid if i run, all the shit will follow me.

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  2. it will, Sherilin, it will, because Satan created cell phones.

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  3. Can I have a copy of that book???Sounds like my kind of novel Karen yes bring it on! Oh I love to vacate my life!
    Ha this was so funny!
    My favourite was the pet hair! I don't own a German Shepherd I own a German
    Shedder!!!!!!!!! I vaccum everyday and still pick up her hair!
    I'm tired all the time too...Sam says that's all I ever say!

    Oh and I love the part about driving the car till it runs out of gas...that's what I want to do at times too!!

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  4. oh i feel you more than you can imagine!
    Tonight is a rare night in our house and ALL the kids are gone!

    No, nobody got romantic.

    We sat in front of the telly, watching Dateline, 20/20 and Who do you think you are?

    It was so quiet we could hear the TV at volume 16...amazing...just bliss..even though hubby slept through everything.


    too bad I have to get up at 1:00am to get a kid.

    So this is what empty nesters must do???

    I must admit it is pretty boring....

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  5. Pet hair? I saw that as DUST BUNNIES--the massive ones that I never knew existed until I had a house with almost no carpeting. I don't know what's worse--a floor that needs CONSTANT sweeping, or a carpet that traps all that dust and dirt in..

    Yes, perhaps you're stressed all the time Pam, but have you had your Vitamin B12/Iron/thyroid all checked out?

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  6. Boring?!? Really Melissa?? Because, what you described was pure porn for the mind. Yeah, why does the hub always sleep through these things? And I HEAR YOU about no hanky panky when you get some free time! Ha!

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  7. You are very entertaining. Where have you been? (And I completely agree that Satan created cell phones.)

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  8. You mean you didn't sign up for all that? Or you didn't read the fine print?

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  9. Why thankyou DBS, and thankyou for dropping in :) Where've I been? Here in the kitchen doing dishes, I think...

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  10. Dammmit Matt, I clearly did NOT read the fine print! Okay, okay, I'm very melodramatic on Fridays. On Fridays I can't take any more domesticity. The thought of making dinner or doing anything I'm "supposed to" makes me want to totally hurl.

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  11. i'm sorry i caused you trauma by my horrible foot slicing. i'm sure normal humans would probably not carve up their feet like country hams in the interest of baby butt smooth tootsies, but when i do something, i like to go all out with it. and by all out, i apparently mean my blood. =) lol

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  12. No problem--it was funny, but SO, SO OOGEY. See, my sister kept raving about this "pedi egg" she'd found in the drug store, and it too slices skin off the bottom of the feet. She said; "I have to get you one too!" and I kinda thought "eeee....nooo!"

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  13. I have to admit you're making infertility look like a dream world. Except I don't need the satanic cell phone for it to follow me in my car. Infertility's good like that...it shows up anywhere there are kids and pregnant women. Which is mostly everywhere....except in my house with the dirty dishes, dust bunnies, and moldy basement.

    Lol....thanks for the giggle today.

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  14. you too have the dust bunnies and moldy basement, Maria? Maybe I'm remembering those pre-marriage days with my husband incorrectly then. I have this memory of a spotless house, but then forget i'VE ALWAYS BEEN THIS UNMOTIVATED.

    Oh yeah, when there's one big thing that's the roadblock in our lives, EVERYTHING around us reminds us of our obstacle. Everything.

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