WARNING: BIG BUMMER
Well, I'm back.
Okay, okay, I'm not a total baby: I realise that REAL LIFE does not involve floating around leisurely in a heated salt water pool like a big, fat starfish, with palm trees waving gently overhead, and when swimming is finished you get yourself a big old rum and coke...or four... And I know that the average person's view is not a calm ocean, lapping endlessly onto soft, soft, cool white sand. I also know that in FREAKING FEBRUARY, it's not common around these here parts to see the sun very often, and 95% of everyone here is suffering MASSIVE VITAMIN D DEPRIVATION.
Yes, and it's true, we can't sleep in every day till 8:30 or 9, then get up, have breakfast on a completely screened in balcony that looks out over the aforementioned peaceful ocean, and drink our coffee with a contented heart thrumming in a nice, easy, TOTALLY STRESS FREE RHYTHM. True; after breakfast I never ever get dressed in my BATHING SUIT, and go sit by the pool with a book, and just let that sun sink into the bones.
Of course in THE REAL WORLD, I will have to wait at least 4 more months--3 if I'm lucky, to wear my SUPA SEXAY sandals and a TOE RING, and go out for a really fun dinner, where you sit outside, and even if it's a cool evening, it's okay, because there are overhead heaters, and that table behind you has a fire going in the middle of it, and as you sip your habenero lime Corona, some balding dude is playing "yellow bird" on the steel drums. And oh how you laugh! You laugh and laugh, because you haven't got A FREAKING CARE IN THE WORLD. Oh, and the dinner you're eating? Well, it has NOTHING to do with casseroles, or heating up chicken nuggets, or slapping peanut butter on bread. Nooooo...it's a masterful combination of a boneless buttermilk fried chicken breast, set on top of the best mashed potatoes ever, surrounded by fire roasted corn salsa. AND, DAMN--HALF THE FUN IS THAT YOU DIDN'T COOK IT YOURSELF, and the other half is that it's the most exciting restaurant meal you've had in a long time!
But yeah, I'm a rational adult. I know that one can't go out for lovely, gorgeous meals all the time.
Sure, I realise that it's February, so even though it was a treat to go barefoot again, and idle along a beach hunting for little conch shells, and throwing them back in the ocean if they still have little guys living in them, and as they sail back to the sea, you happily call; "LIVE ANOTHER DAY, LITTLE BUDDY!"
Wait...what was I trying to say? Oh yeah, that kind of lifestyle is a TREAT, and not the norm, so I should just feel lucky that I got to have it for 5 1/2 fabulous days.
I should feel lucky.
WELL F$CK THAT!!!! Okay people, I finally got home at around 1:15 AM Tuesday, and I felt all happy to be home. Yay, I'm back in Canada! Oh hooray! It's cold the way winter is SUPPOSED TO BE. Oh goody, I'll be able to drink my own blend of coffee again. Oh joy--my sweet little chillin's! OOo, look at how appealing The Man is! Kitties? Kitties!!!! Oh you little furry rats, come give me a hug! Aw, look at that--the pantry is littered with Jack's rejected drawings! Oh, lovely, familiar mess! Chuckle, chuckle, their bedroom floors are covered with clothes...oh the little dickens!
The sun is shining! It's a beautiful (Canadian Winter, ie; not beautiful) day! The filthy snow is starting to melt, so it's slushy and puddle-y everywhere! Oh, I can't wait to get back into my routine! I can't believe it--I'M JUST SO HAPPY! I FEEL SO REVITALIZED, AND I SMELL FREAKING AWESOME FROM THIS NEW PERFUME I BOUGHT! EVERYTHING * IS * GREAT!!!!
That lasted till 5:00 pm, Tuesday.
That lovely, stress-free, restored feeling lasted for 17 hours, but I slept for 7 of them, so that equals 10 hours of feeling great thanks to my little vacation. Then, it was me frantically making that nice, roast chicken dinner with lots of veggies for my family, and the kids freaking out that dinner wasn't ready yet, and then Ella and Jack trying to throttle one another, and I couldn't go for a power walk this morning, because all that slush froze into treacherous ice, and well, you get the picture.
Oh, but I'd better go. Everybody was kind of enough to leave their laundry for me! Isn't that SUPER? Which one of y'all out there would be happy to return home to a literally overflowing laundry basket? Anyone? Anyone?
Yeah, that's what I thought.