Sometimes life kicks you right in the poodle.

Friday, February 25, 2011

SUPER SUCK Friday


the licence plate is s'posed to say "BRNT OUT"  ha ha, what horrible art
 At first I thought today was a great day.  The weather is CRAPPOLA out there, but I was ecstatic because school's are open, so the kids had to SUCK IT.  Also, I have to say, I'm one of those jerk moms who makes the kids walk to school, even if it's rotten weather outside.  We live less than ten minutes away, and I need the exercise so I don't turn into KAREN WINTER FATTY (yeah, I've made this joke before), and I also still like our DYING ENVIRONMENT, and try to give a crap about my CARBON FOOTPRINT, but whatever. 

I thought it was kind of hilarious this morning, as my two kids and I were trudging head-on through the horrible, cold, relentless, unsympathetic, sideways PELTING snow, and I was jubilant that they were both going to school, AND The Man is out for the day, so I would soon return to

Total silence.  BOO YAH!  WHOOMP WHOOMP WHOOMP!

The kids, however, were not happy about it..

"waaa!  The snow is hurting my face!"

"waaaa!  The snow is going in my eyeball!"

"waaa!  I HATE walking in winter!" 

Jerk Mom:  "isn't it a FUN WINTER ADVENTURE out here kids???  KEEP WALKING, DON'T SLOW DOWN"

So, it was all fine and good until it was time to Pick Ella up from nursery school, and then SUPER JERK hit my car  We were stopped at the intersection, waiting for the light to change, and buddy was turning left.  Can someone explain how he managed to come around the corner and almost do a 360 so that he ended up hitting my driver's side door nearly straight-on???  And here's another weird thing--why did it have to be the unknown parent at the elementary school who gives me slightly weird vibes, and appears to be checking me out when he brings his kid to school in the morning?  Why can't it be the SUPA HOT, SLIGHTLY SURLY Dad??? 

Blech, between that and taking too much Vitamin C (I'll explain later), I am no longer happy today.  Vitamins are clearly burning an ACID HOLE straight through my bodily core, as they force their way out of my system.  I won't go into anymore detail, but let's just say this:  FEEL THE BURN!!! 

Yes, the vitamin C is yet another attempt in my great QUEST TO NOT FEEL SO FREAKING TIRED ALL THE TIME. 

OH well, IT'S FRIDAY, B*TCHES!  Time to fill up the ice cube tray, because my good friend CANADIAN CLUB can't wait to start the par-tay...which actually would involve me, my one whisky and coke, sitting at the computer unscrambling words.  Good times. 

10 comments:

  1. i started taking iron pills a couple months ago because i was so freakin tired that i could rarely make it through a day without a nap & even still, i was like the walking dead for most of the hours i was awake. they helped significantly.

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  2. ha ha surly sexy dad? Funny!!
    Hope your car is okay!
    I started taking Vit C and I always get so sick when I take my Vitamins. I dread doing it every morning.

    On a different note I don't know if your dad knows but Rob's wife is very sick. The horrible C word has entered my family. So so sad. I wish I could be home helping to take care of her and the boys. Life sucks.

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  3. they did help, Sherilin? Well, apparently my iron levels are "fine." lord knows I've gone for enough blood tests, and I'm always "fine." Waaa...

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  4. My ancient car is Okay, Pam, thanks. Now I'll have to email you about that dreaded C...

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  5. I think you needed to make the other driver in the picture a little angrier, with a bulged crazeeeye.

    Have a CC for me.

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  6. Ugh... I'm certain I've got a case of S.A.D. Picked up the Vitamin D drops that are supposed to help - only time will tell! It's either that or going to a tanning salon and I don't have the time, money OR skanky-chav-factor to do that. LOL.

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  7. Yeah, I should have eh Matt? I don't know what DUM DUM was actually thinking as he careened into me, but I was trying to paint something of a more empathetic portrait, rather than drawing a giant dick driving his SUV.

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  8. yeah, Lady, if it weren't for the whole Cancer/brainless tanned girl thing surrounding the tanning bed, I'd be in one right now. They are freaking SOOTHING. I take a lot of vitamin d. I think the amount of colds I get have gone way down. Plus, it's supposed to be good for preventing breast cancer. I'll stop now--I'm a closet nutriton enthusiast. And now to crack open that bag of chips...

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  9. I hate car accidents so much, I am so sorry to hear that but what is most important is that you and everyone are ok

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  10. thanks JD--we're all fine, but the funny thing is that even the lightest of accidents is still fairly traumatic! I think it's that shocking THUD of two cars connecting.

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