Figuring out what I wanna be when I grow up.
Oop..I AM grown up...

Monday, March 14, 2011

Whisky. It's The Only Answer.

Dear karen,

I heard you had a really hard day.  Actually, if I were to put it poetically, I'd say your day was the ICING on the CRAP CAKE.  Har har, I'm a card, aren't I?  What I was told is that first of all, your weekend sucked.  Is "sucked" a good enough word?  Or do you prefer "bit" or "blew?"  Well, whatever word you choose, it was all one big rotten casserole of badness. 

Yes, I know:  your son developed some new and alarming tics over the weekend.  You went right off the deep end and did the worst thing possible:  you hit the INTERNET.  Don't you know that as far as the NET is concerned, all roads lead to THE WORST POSSIBLE SCENARIO???  So, within the span of a few hours, you'd flip-flopped from PANDAS (and not the cute, furry kind) to St. Vitus Dance!  Hoo boy, that's quite the journey!  Anxiety much?  Sorry, I shouldn't poke fun.  Children are truly terrifying.  That's why I'm glad that I'm just a little old libation. 

And today?  WHOO BOY!  Now that was really something! Let me get this straight:  one member of your family suddenly feels dizzy every time she stands up, and the docs haven't found out what's wrong yet...another family member has a cyst on her tail bone that just became EXCRUCIATING in the past few days, and today she was at the hospital having it sliced, and ANOTHER member of your family just got a phone call today from his doctor urging him to go to the hospital to get treated for a BLOOD CLOT IN THE LUNG??? 


Girlfriend, quite frankly, that's ENOUGH.  

Now listen, it's March Break.  So tonight, after the kids go to bed, you bring the ice and Coke, and I'll bring my marvelous self. 

You've earned it. 

Yours truly,



  1. Okay when I first saw the photo of the bottle I broke out laughing!

    I hope all these cysts and blood work come to be nothing.
    Just be ever so glad you don't live here in Duncan...spring break is two weeks!!!!

    Aimee made my muffin recipe? I'm touched...that means she reads my blog! Sneeking little thing!!

    Oh I contacted a virus just looking for cute old fashioned xmas photos for my blog!!!

  2. OMG - well to be fair you make all this stressful stuff sound amusing.

  3. That takes the cake Karen....What else can go wrong? Sorry to hear it all sucks, but, i did like your comment on my post today.

  4. Freedom isn't Free.....
    it's about $15 a bottle.

  5. I havent got to chat with Beam i hope she has re-covered...other family members??? yikes, Karen...I hope everyone is okay? I am feeling a bit sickish about all of this!!
    I hope you and your friend had a nice time together last night...hopefully offered you a bit of comfort?

  6. Don't even say the word "VIRUS". They make me cringe. We've had a few on the computer here, and they truly suck.

    Things are bound to improve...I think...I think?

  7. Why thank you David. Grace a dieu for black humour.

  8. Well thanks Melissa. You're no stranger to CRAPPOLA THINGS HAPPENING ALL AT ONCE, now are you! I hope all has been looking up lately though!

  9. Yes, but Tor--the end result? PRICELESS! Thanks for stopping by!

  10. Well, you know what the say Steph--just wehn you've reached your breaking point things are BOUND to look up! I must be ready to win the lottery or something..I'd better buy a ticket!

    As for the dizziness thingy, that's my Mom-in-law, and it's unpleasant, but is most likely an inner ear problem.

  11. Dear Whisky,

    Mind making a stop over my house? Or hey, let's make it a threesome. No, not THAT kind of threesome you silly. That's my sister and that would be gross! Just some drinks is all. But all I have is 7up. Hope you don't mind.


  12. 7UP would be fine as well. Actually, better I suppose: no caffeine.

  13. dont drink but a good box of chocolates will do nicely.pandas? i assume you do not mean the cute black and white bears,is it yet another syndrome that can make moms go crazy with worry?

  14. yes Paula, it is indeed another horrendous syndrome. It's a form of OCD caused by too much strep bacteria in a kid's system. There's a link to info in the post. I read the book a couple of years ago, and put a link to it on my blog: "Saving Sammy: Curing the Boy Who Had OCD". It's a very new idea in the medical world, and I don't think it's acknowleged AT ALL in Canada.

    A box of chocolates--yes, very good! Especially with NUTS. A pan of rice krispie squares will work nicely too.

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  16. Well now that's a sweet letter. Did he really write that? Very funny either way.
    If only a bottle of WHISKEY did it for me.

  17. well, what's your poison, Bennet? It's doing it for me even as I type this! Oh, I shouldn't divulge that kind of information. Makes some people worried that I have deep issues.


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