Like the apathetic, mostly directionless HUMAN TUMBLEWEED that I am, I often fall back into my same old bad habits.
Recently, I set aside a hunk of my pride and came to The Man for help.
Me: "I think you're going to have to help police me. I'm falling back into my bad habits again. I don't feel like eating lunch, so around 3:00 when I'm starving, I have a cheese toast (you know, toast with 3 slices of cheese on top, no butter. Basically, one of the laziest lunches possible). I drink a coffee in the morning, and then have no liquid till dinner time--if then. I went pee after Jack came home from school, and it smelled like coffee. That's disgusting. That basically means I hadn't gone to the can all day."
The Man: "do I have to draw up a schedule for you too?"
Me: "yeah, you may have to."
See that? I'm a total, preachy child. EAT YOUR VITAMINS everyone. ONLY EAT WHOLE GRAINS, PEOPLE. DON'T DRINK POP ALL THE TIME, IT'S BAD FOR YOU. You should be eating SEVERAL SMALL MEALS throughout the day. It's much better for your metabolism.
In other words, BLAH BLAH BLAH DIDDY BLAH, because I don't practice what I preach.
So, this morning, The Man was busy scribbling something, all secretive like. My new schedule.
Is it just me, or does it reek of I'm-a-dick-ness?
I keep getting stuck on number 6 for some reason.