Figuring out what I wanna be when I grow up.
Oop..I AM grown up...

Sunday, April 3, 2011

karen & Coffee Clear Some Sh*t Up

karen and her good friend Coffee sat down for another meeting of the minds, in light of recent events that have stuck themselves directly in karen's craw.  (for more fun with karen and Coffee, click HERE)

Coffee:  "So, I hear you're a little irked lately."
karen:  "IRKED.  Yeah.  Good word."

Coffee:  "is it me?"

karen:  "YOU?!?  Your brew is consistently comforting.  It could never be you, my love."

Coffee:  "ha ha!  GOTCHA!"

karen:  "oh, you bum!  You were fishing for compliments again!  Ha ha ha!"

Coffee:  "Ha ha ha!  Okay, but seriously, you seem a little edgy.  Word around town is that some people you know have recently discovered your blog."

karen:  "yeah, and it apparently 'struck a nerve.'"

Coffee:  "why is that?"

karen:  "apparently some peeps out there have concluded that I 'hate my life.'"

Coffee:  "and how would you answer that bold claim?"

karen:  "it's RIDICULOUS."

Coffee:  "go on,"

karen:  "because that's just not me.  I'm the kind of person who strives to find the good and the beautiful in every day.  If those readers had actually taken the time to read through more of my posts, instead of making snap judgements, they would see that I write about a lot of different things, AND I post recipes, AND I try to do some Earth-friendly posts as well."

Coffee:  "so are you denying that you complain about your life and your kids?"

karen:  "hellz no.  What--am I a freaking robot?!?  Of course I complain about things!  I have a challenging home life.  I have a son on the Autism Spectrum who I have to have a fight with AT LEAST once EVERY SINGLE DAY, and a 4 year old daughter who likes to mimic this behaviour."

Coffee:  "apparently the post in question had a lot of you complaining about having to 'get the kids juice."

karen:  "yeah?  And?"

Coffee:  "apparently this was construed as a really negative attitude." 

karen:  "Oh, that's a hot one.  Well then, multiply that juice request by 50 for each and every day, and see how negative I'm being.  Okay, here's the thing:  being a MOM is great.  I wouldn't trade my children for the world.  They're beautiful, smart, funny little people who bring joy and love to my life, but every STAY-AT-HOME-MOM knows what I know:  at times it's rewarding, but it is also exhausting, repetitive and tedious, plus, that cute little bod you had in your 20's is LONG GONE.  And when I go off on a good rant?  Most of the time it's PMS related, and PMS is an ongoing saga in and of itself here in Ow, my angst land."

Coffee:  "so just to clarify:  you don't hate your life."

karen:  "no, I don't, and to suggest I do is both silly and ill-informed.  Do I get frustrated? Absolutely.  Doesn't every human?"

Coffee:  "so what would you say to anyone who thinks these thoughts about your writing?"

karen:  "I would say, 'there are plenty of other blogs in the sea.  Sorry, but YOU are not my target audience.'"

Coffee:  "thanks karen, you've been very candid.  Too bad about that post you deleted."

karen:  "oh, have no fear, I will not censor myself.  However, one can run the risk of crossing the line from time to time as far as his/her own family's dignity is concerned, but other than that, I'm still going to TELL IT LIKE IT IS."

Coffee:  "Three cheers to TELLING IT LIKE IT IS!  But let's conclude this on a coffee note:  how was the coffee when you were in Florida?"

karen:  "oh my beautiful American friends!  WHERE, oh WHERE can one get a decent cup of coffee in your great and majestic country?!?  Even that package of Starbucks was weak!  Oh, but wait...the Dunkin' Donuts premium brew on the plane was good.  There.  I've ended it on a positive note.  See?  I'm a very positive person." 

Coffee:  "and there you have it.  Shall we meet up again tomorrow morning?"

karen:  "like you even have to ask."


  1. That was very diplomatic. I'd like to add to your diplomacy by shouting a "Get bent f*#kers! Take your head out of your @ss!"...oh wait, that wasn't diplomatic of me at all. :)

  2. But Karen I think you're great! You are a breath of fresh air for me in regards to all these my life is perfect people especially the ones on FB blech!!!
    I want to say to some of your life really that perfect?
    Yeah tell the ones who think you are negative to surf another blog!!!
    I look forward to your rants!!
    Maybe it's the C------d in me!

  3. You put the Express in expresso, K. Because that's what 'normal' American SAHMs call it, right? We don't need more normals, we needed YOU. I guess I missed the rant, awh, too bad for me. What's that quote - oh yeah! "Well behaved women rarely make history" - yes, that one reminds me of you. COFFEE: espresso is the closest I've found to Miami Beach Cafe con Leche : )

  4. isn't it stupid how nervous we have to get when certain people discover our blogs? i mean, obviously since they're on the internet they're not private, but sometimes people who know us stumble onto them & they are forced to see a different side of us than the one they're used to viewing.
    i liked how you were silly by discussing your dilemma with your coffee. cuz that's normal n stuff.

  5. WEll if Rick Mercer can rant to all of Canada candidly so can you!.

    Because if those people actually looked and read they would find an incredibly gifted writer.

    It is your blog.
    You say stuff on a public forum, those squeaky clean, people only think about.

  6. it may not have been diplomatic, but it was WILDLY SATISFYING! More! More! More!

  7. thanks Pam. If I'm a breath of fresh air, that might mean the world is coming to an end, ha ha ha. No--family life is NOT perfect. It's a lot of damn hard work.

  8. thanks Iam. Cafe con leche! SNIFF! Now that reminds me of being in the Dominican...with a bikini....and a noticeable yet still sexay pot belly.

    Thanks. I gots to be honest.

  9. ha ha ha ha ha ha ...oh Sherilin. You kill me. Isn't it normal to sit down and chat with your favourite bevvy? You kow, I was thinking about this very idea: why DOES it make us nervous? Do we secretly feel like we're being bad? You are very right about it forcing us to examine ourselves though. Very astute point.

  10. ooo...yuk @ squeaky clean. I prefer to be crusty, but smell really good. Thanks Melissa.

  11. Oh, I think this calls for another GROUP HUG, HOMEGIRLS

  12. grouphug!!! and no will ever find squeaky clean all the time if they're interacting with a real & honest life. it's just not possible. the best i can hope for is to be generally positive and not critical of others.
    btw, i think you should email me the mystery foreskin story.

  13. okay, will do! It's just as well I got rid of it...but I'll tell ya's all about it.

  14. Yah... sometimes people just sort of miss the point. Anyhoo, no worries.

  15. being a mom is not always fun,actually,its usually not fun!but we love our kids anyway,and we must forgive ourselves for sometimes wanting to throw them out the window.i used to run a moms group at our church, and i wanted it to be a no b.s. zone,we have to paste on a smile too often,and we never really get to know each other. anyhoo those group times were awsome,we knew and loved each other for who they really were, warts and all.

  16. yes, they do nerdo. Even when it's right the eff in front of them.

  17. Paula, how come you stopped doing the group? Was it because baby girlie came along? Maybe I'll make that my blog "button": Ow My Angst: warts and all baby!

  18. I like your frankness as well - I may not comment much - but I read them all and I think your attitude is great. I think I said it before but you are like a modern Erma Bombeck with attitude. love it, keep it up. and although the circ. post was a bit painful at times, it was good and I definitly could relate to the story. That is what I like about your blog, I can relate, and it feels good to know that other people have similar issues in their lives. Plus I also find myself increasingly fixated on coffee, so it's nice to know other people are coffee obsessed as well.

  19. Well I've long time known that comedy involves often means stepping outside of one's self, and diving into self ridicule, satire, and a profound sense of humility to be able to articulate it.

    I've learned over the years that many people do not understand the ability to make fun of one's self for the sake comedy.

    I've often tried to provide alternative views to any and every perspective which has often awarded me the brand of weird/strange.

    I say fine. Remain one sided. I'm too lazy to create booklet manual guides to understanding my comedy.

  20. thanks Christy. I remember you likening me to a modern day Erma. Yeah, it's probably for the best that that post lives only in our hearts now, har har.

  21. self-deprecating = funny, right Bennet? I dig the weird and the strange. They're some of the best peeps, and certainly I was called "weird" one time, and I'm sure my brother was plenty as well.


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