Figuring out what I wanna be when I grow up.
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Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Time For Some Good Old Fashioned Whining



This post could also be titled "SOMEBODY PUNCH ME IN THE F*CKING THYROID". 


Is there another good word for TIRED, because I feel like I use that one to death. 

Beat?  Spent?  Knackered (that's a British one)?  Cream Crackered (some insane British version of 'knackered')?  Nah, I like TIRED.  It's very to-the-point.

Anyhow, I have been tired since Friday.  As you may recall, I was trying to rediscover my INNER HOOCHIE (officially dead), with some girlfriends.  I thought staying up till 2:00 AM was OUTRAGEOUS.  Picture me, practically RUNNING for a cab, once I realised it was 1:30.  However, my girlfriends had reports of partying down till 3:30 in the morning.  Jesus.  Who's the nerd in this picture?

But like I said, I've been tired since Friday.  I told my sister the other day that if this tiredness continues much longer, I'll be forced to conclude the obvious:  FULL BODY CANCER, and not the more reasonable answer:  too many late nights peppered here and there with CRUSTY WIVES (don't feel left out:  you can get the recipe for that heavenly concoction simply by scrolling down the left side bar), and other cocktails. 

This morning, The Man said he would take Jack to school. This means I could stay in bed and get a little more sleep!  At 7:40, this sounded VERY, VERY APPEALING.  Thanks to my MOM EARS, I heard that little dickens Ella stirring up in her room at 4:45.  She didn't get up yet, but once I hear her thumping around in her bed, I know it's not long before it's all over and she's up for good.  Personally?  I'm not interested in getting up at 5.  Sorry, but since I have no freaking CROPS, or a job out in the REAL WORLD, I figure I'm not being unreasonable. 

But, in case you're thinking I was drifting off into peaceful bliss there in my warm, cozy bed, think again.  Sleeping in in this house actually just means "staying in bed a little longer."  First I heard Jack and Ella bugging each other.  Then Jack and The Man were fighting over clothing choices.  Jack wanted to wear his shirt with the guitars on it.  The Man wanted him to wear the shirt he'd already picked out.  There was much screaming, and outrage on Jack's part, and I was lying in bed thinking; "why the hell can't the kid just wear the damn shirt HE wants to wear?!?" 

Annoyingness.

Hopped out of bed, found Jack's preferred shirt in a pile of clothes on the stairs (where optimistic items live, hoping for the day they'll be returned upstairs), gave it to Jack, and MAGICALLY averted a crisis. 

Then it was that usually time of the morning whereby Jack has to listen to the same 6 or 7 songs AGAIN before he has to get his stuff on and go.  Today, however, started with a nice, loud rendition of "Rollover Beethoven," by Chuck Berry. 
*Note:  Chuck Berry music is EXTREMELY ANNOYING when you're trying to get a tablespoon more sleep.

So, I got up, went to Early Years with my sister and our girls, and felt my face turning into a ball of fresh, sinking dough.  What's particularly obnoxious about this Early Years location, is that one half of the gym is set up with toys and things for the little people to play with, and the other half of the gym is clearly an aerobics class now, and the only thing separating us from the make-me-want-to-knife-someone BOOM!BOOM!BOOM!BOOM! of the loud dance beat music, coupled with some overzealous instructor's "WOO!  YEAH!  ALRIGHT LADIES, COME ON!" is a pull-down, flimsy plastic wall.  So, on the other side of that wall, there are probably lots of hot unwrinkled bods in spandex, and on our side lots of moms who looked just as tired as I. 

I would totally love to go over there and say; "listen, fitness idiots, can you show some respect and turn that SH*T DOWN???"

The last thing I want to whine about is my thyroid.  You know:  that idiot in my neck.  The last time I had a biopsy on my thyroid was hideous!  Evil Dr. THOROUGH poked my neck so many times, it was bruised for a month!!!  Because I'm the biggest wimp on the planet, I was relieved I wouldn't have to get THAT done for a long time. 


Oh karen, you great gallumping idiot. 

I have to get my neck poked A-FREAKING-GAIN.  Yeah, that's right.  My stupid, ugly lumpy lumps fall into the grey area of needle biopsies.  This is basically like saying; "hmmm..this thing looks weird.  We can't tell if it's cancer, and we can't tell if it's not cancer, so let's poke your neck 7 more times and see if we can tell one way or another, kay?  Sound super fun?" 

Two months people, and I have to do it all over again.  Legendary pity party.  Legendary. 

My sister says that I should tell my thyroid; "look, this relationship clearly isn't working out.  You're going to have to GO," and evict the f$cker. 

What would you guys do?  Avoid surgery and try to hang on to your vital organ, or yank that thing out and replace it with medication for the rest of your life?!? 

Blech.  karen need a nap. 


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19 comments:

  1. oh dear lord Karen..I willshow up at yoru pity party...that sounds freaking aweful! Poor you!!! Like doesnt that THING know that you have been through enough??? geez. Sorry to hear Karen.Yikes!

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  2. see what happens when i read yoru work? I type way too fast (so I dont get caught) and look at myhorid spelling and typos :(

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  3. "Thyroid geek"April 19, 2011 at 3:05 PM

    Have you got a chance to show to your doctor the article about the "molecular testing"? And no the adenoma will not turn into the carcinoma, it just simply hard to determine which one is which without taking the lobe out.
    What do you thinking about the video http://youtu.be/CN5yFGaMDCs?
    her nodule reminds me about the "madam's apple" on the neck of my high school teacher

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  4. i would yank it, you will probably have to take meds anyway,so might as well avoid the cancer worry too. oh yeah, have you had your iron checked, i was severly anemic and did not even know it,now i am taking iron and feel [somewhat]less tired.

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  5. thanks Steph. I don't mind your typos--they make me smile because I know you're being sneaky at work.

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  6. Thyroid geek, I haven't even had the chance to read it myself yet! I got a little sidelined by the anniversary of my Mom's death, and I've been falling behind in some stuff. Still, I get to all things in time, so I WILL get to that article!

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  7. Paula, I haven't had my iron checked in a little while. Every time I get a blood test though, they always say everything's "normal," so I've mostly given up.

    Thanks for your input re; yanking the sucker out. Still wondering...

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  8. I say yank it... then take it home and do a celebration by tossing it in the fire pit while dancing naked and free... well, I got carried away.

    But then again, that is a hard decision to make, isn't it. What does the doctor suggest? I can't remember if I asked that question.

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  9. I want to keep all of the original equipment as long as possible. That being said, I also have no problem removing faulty equipment if it could cause catastrophic problems down the road.
    It's a tough decision.

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  10. good imagery Nerdo--cracked me up in fact. Dr SADIST was very noncomittal: "at the VERY LEAST, I would want another biopsy," he said. Blech. That helped me ZERO PERCENT.

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  11. Indeed it is, George. Indeed it is. I could make a scrap book for all the organs and things they might need to yank out: R.I.P. GALL BLADDER, R.I.P. THYROID...sheesh.

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  12. i say get it checked again. bruising & hell are annoying, but long term, probably better than taking a med that maybe you don't actually need for the next 70 years.

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  13. There are two ways out of this (that I know work. . .well, actually 3, but the third may be out there for you)
    1.Norman Cousins laughter & Vitamin:
    article: http://www.humor-laughter.com/Norman-Cousins-laughter.html
    2. EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique)
    http://www.emofree.com/ It works on anything & everything - you just have to commit your mind to it

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  14. I worked with a woman who had hers out and she was totally fine after. What made her was she ate an entire large pizza in one sitting! I always laugh at that.

    Anyways Sam says that i say that word everyday..."Tired!"
    Karen it is 8pm and i am sitting here in my PJ's! My hubby just looked at me and shook his head. The boys here think there is something seriously wrong with me!

    I love Aimee's advice..too funny!

    Where is the Early years now? No longer at the Catholic school?

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  15. hmm...good points Sherilin, thank you for weighing-in.

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  16. ooo...interesting, Christina! I look forward to checking these out

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  17. the Early years places are all over the city, Pam. This one in particular is at the Y.

    Well, you wake up early though, don't you? You're a morning person, so that explains why you're tired in the evening.

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  18. Stupid thyroid. What the hell? ACT RIGHT, you bastard. [You know the thyroid is a guy.]

    Sorry for the lack of rest. That never helps.

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  19. stupid thyroid is right. Feel free to punch that bastard. Meh--lack of rest is motly my life, but certainly it's my shtick too

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