|image from HERE|
Being sick sucks. Honking yellow crap out of your sinuses sucks (yes, I know that was TERRIBLE for you to have to read, but this ship is going DOWN, and I'm taking you people with me. You're the only ones who make me happy! Sniff!). Having sinuses SO PAINFUL that your teeth hurt really bites, and coughing your lungs into OW shreds is no party either.
Didn't I already do my time with germs? Remember that B.S. phase known as CHILDHOOD, wherby you got 500 colds a year until you were about 12 or so? And when you didn't have a cold, you were probably barfing? Or taking some kind of meds for bronchitis, tonsillitis and any other ITIS kids get? Shouldn't I have the immune system of a super hero?
So, in the spirit of being totally cranky, I present for you:
THINGS THAT SUCK
(I feel like I've done this before...but then again, I'm not that super peppy, optimistic blogger. That girl is closer to the number 1 spot on the Top Mommy Blogs site, and she still uses words like "magical," and "rewarding" when she talks about her spaghetti stained, sprinkle cupcakes, scrapbook family life)
1) Being Sick. Duh, this is a given. We've already been through the hacking and nose blowing. Plus, a long weekend is RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER here in Canada. Let the pity party begin!
2) Words I can't immediately pronounce, like "Gough" (forgive me if that's your last name). Is it "Go"? Goog? Goff? It seriously makes me mental. Same thing goes for that lady who created the PMS supplement that humanized me: Laura Vanderhaeghe. Is it VanderHAG? VanderHOG? VanderHEDGE?
I have to stop talking about this now.
3) People who leave their cars running when they pick their kids up from school, have to run into the school or have to run into the store. YOU ARE AN IDIOT. Continue crapping on the earth, asshat.
4) Hair that's vulnerable to humidity. Seriously, is this hair on my head or a sponge? I'm touching it right now and it is big, dull and fuzzy. Fluffy even. No es bueno.
5) My cats: dropping turd surprises, hairball ropes, chewing my CYCLAMEN, making the top of the couch smell weird.
6) Dark green veg. All bad. That's why someone was forced to invent cheese sauce.
7) Conversations with the CROSSING GUARDS. 10 Million ways to talk about the weather can't be wrong.
8) Walmart. Hate that place. Hate that there's always a reason for me to go back there eventually.
9) pretzels. A snack food that's low fat. Pppfftt.
10) deli ham. Sometimes it's gaggingly thick. Sometimes it's slimy. 4 days later it has that weird smell. Shudder.
11) salt cod. The Man boiled up some of this during Easter weekend. I was convinced the smell of rotton nacho socks was coming up from the basement through every vent in the house. Turns out it was just the heinous, salt-preserved fish his family seems to like eating.
12) yogurt/ketchup/mustard water. But which is the worst? I'm leaning toward ketchup water for some reason.
Shake well, my friends, shake well.