Figuring out what I wanna be when I grow up.
Oop..I AM grown up...

Friday, May 20, 2011

Being Sick Sucks A$$

image from HERE

Being sick sucks.  Honking yellow crap out of your sinuses sucks (yes, I know that was TERRIBLE for you to have to read, but this ship is going DOWN, and I'm taking you people with me.  You're the only ones who make me happy! Sniff!).  Having sinuses SO PAINFUL that your teeth hurt really bites, and coughing your lungs into OW shreds is no party either. 

Didn't I already do my time with germs?  Remember that B.S. phase known as CHILDHOOD, wherby you got 500 colds a year until you were about 12 or so?  And when you didn't have a cold, you were probably barfing?  Or taking some kind of meds for bronchitis, tonsillitis and any other ITIS kids get?  Shouldn't I have the immune system of a super hero? 

So, in the spirit of being totally cranky, I present for you:

(I feel like I've done this before...but then again, I'm not that super peppy, optimistic blogger.  That girl is closer to the number 1 spot on the Top Mommy Blogs site, and she still uses words like "magical," and "rewarding" when she talks about her spaghetti stained, sprinkle cupcakes, scrapbook family life)

1) Being Sick.  Duh, this is a given.  We've already been through the hacking and nose blowing.  Plus, a long weekend is RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER here in Canada.  Let the pity party begin!

2) Words I can't immediately pronounce, like "Gough" (forgive me if that's your last name).  Is it  "Go"?  Goog?  Goff?  It seriously makes me mental.  Same thing goes for that lady who created the PMS supplement that humanized me:  Laura Vanderhaeghe.  Is it VanderHAG?  VanderHOG?  VanderHEDGE? 

I have to stop talking about this now.

3) People who leave their cars running when they pick their kids up from school, have to run into the school or have to run into the store.  YOU ARE AN IDIOT.  Continue crapping on the earth, asshat.

4) Hair that's vulnerable to humidity.  Seriously, is this hair on my head or a sponge?  I'm touching it right now and it is big, dull and fuzzy.  Fluffy even.  No es bueno. 

5) My cats:  dropping turd surprises, hairball ropes, chewing my CYCLAMEN, making the top of the couch smell weird. 

6) Dark green veg.  All bad.  That's why someone was forced to invent cheese sauce. 

7) Conversations with the CROSSING GUARDS.  10 Million ways to talk about the weather can't be wrong.

8) Walmart.  Hate that place.  Hate that there's always a reason for me to go back there eventually.

9) pretzels.  A snack food that's low fat.  Pppfftt.

10) deli ham.  Sometimes it's gaggingly thick.  Sometimes it's slimy.  4 days later it has that weird smell.  Shudder.

11) salt cod.  The Man boiled up some of this during Easter weekend.  I was convinced the smell of rotton nacho socks was coming up from the basement through every vent in the house.  Turns out it was just the heinous, salt-preserved fish his family seems to like eating. 

12) yogurt/ketchup/mustard water.  But which is the worst?  I'm leaning toward ketchup water for some reason. 

Shake well, my friends, shake well.

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  1. Ah you're sick? That sucks. Since i moved here i have to say i have not been that sick.
    Walmart...hmmm its a love / hate relationship for me. I must shop there due to food prices are so much lower than the supermarkets here. I miss the grocery stores back much better. The ones here are so overpriced. My goal is to go an entire week without shopping at Walmart. So far today i have to go there!

  2. that's right Pam--Walmart will reel us all back in at one time or another because nobody can compete with their prcies. Curse them!

  3. nice list, hope you are feeling better soon. I hate the tooth ache from sinus pain and how much it hurts when you lean over. ugh.

  4. get well soon

    I'm a target snob.

  5. I hope you feel better soon.

    Take this opportunity to watch massive amounts of tv. You can't go wrong with Gilmore Girls, plus they have restorative properties.

  6. Love the list, hate the ketchup water - it's certainly the worst.

    Hate that you're sick. Get well soon. Stay away from walmart when sick, buggies and people's ankles are just too tempting to play with during this time.

  7. me too, Christy. The weather's supposed to bite this long weekend anyway.

  8. Lance, I am intrigued by Target. I've heard that it's coming to Canada now.

  9. Ms Suniverse, I've never watched Gilmour girls. I actually watch very little tv now that the food network blows, and Californication has finished for this season.

  10. Thankyas Random La-day. Oh eff yes I'll stay away from walmart while I'm sick. I'd be homicidal.

    Genius! Just happened to me tonight, so I'm voting mustard - ruined my soft pretzel like when Stewie says, "WHHipped cream" and Brian wants to hit him.
    Cat hell - ditto, sister - long, gangly green grass ones, too. Walmart, , ,true, well said. Hate EVER having a reason to go there.
    HEy! Was it Brown Sugar Cinn. oatmeal you couldn't find just by itself in a box? I found some here. Just wondered.

  12. No, not brown sugar cinnamon. there used to be a kind called "Cinnamon Roll" which is extinct. Usually the brown sugar cinnamon ones are either higher fibre, or 'reduced sugar.' Jack hates both. Thanks for checking though :)

    Yeah, the grass hair ball is quite hideous too.

  13. Karen

    I never get out.

    I never wear my pj's where others can see me.

    But I remember when my youngest was two and I had to take him to school to drop of the kids...he just had a diaper on, and well I wrapped him in a blanket and he went 'as is'

    nice parenting eh?

  14. FORGIVABLE parenting, I would definitely say, Melissa! Suvivalist Parenting!!!

  15. Target is simply what Zellers tried to become, but failed.

  16. Yeah, but with Shabby Chic brand furniture! Not that shabby chic is probably exciting to you, Matt..

    oh well, the hudsons bay company needs to get its head out its ass.

  17. Target is wonderful. : )

    Hope you feel better soon!

  18. yes Lisa, I'm looking forward to it, but they're being very vague--not all Zellers are being converted to Targets, and it won't happen till 2013.


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