|BACON AND EGGS or EGG AND BACON--YOU decide|
My sister has lately been LURVING all the stupid little English expressions we use around the homestead here. Some of them snuck up on me with such insidiousness that I hardly even realised I'd been taken over...
taken over by THE MAN.
Let me tell you about it. The Man was not born here. He was born in England. He moved here with his family when he was 9. There's really no reason to still have retained so much English-ness. ASSIMILATE, DAMN IT, ASSIMILATE. He even still has a bit of an accent, but he Canadians-it-up when he's talking to me, and the common masses. But not the kids. He laspses into accent when he's talking to the kids. Like a secret club that I only have a basic membership to.
But still, all this marital proximity has snuck up on me, and I'm sad to realise that my bland, non-descript North American identity has morphed into something strange. One morning when my sister phoned, I was getting ready for the day. When I called back, I told her I was just GETTING A WASH.
She snickered; "'getting a wash,' eh?"
her: "you were GETTING a WASH?"
And guess what, I have completely forgotten what the hell I used to say? Getting a bath? Getting a shower? Taking a shower? Taking a bath? HAVING a bath? Oh DEAR GOD, WHAT DID I USED TO SAY?
Yeah. Did you know that I don't "sleep in" any longer? No, sometimes if I'm lucky, I "have a lie in." Have a lie in. What the f*ck is that?
Also, I don't go to THE MALL any longer. Now I "go to the shops."
Oh, and we don't have bacon and eggs in this house any longer. No. We have EGG AND BACON.
I don't "try" things any longer. I "HAVE A GO" at it.
if someone's playing a joke on me, I don't ask if they're "pulling my leg" any longer, I ask if they're HAVING ME ON.
steak sauce is used for SAUSAGE ROLLS (pig in a blanket???) not STEAK
WHERE DID THESE PEOPLE COME FROM? WHO AM I???
Yeah, live with someone long enough and tell me what qualities of theirs have rubbed off on YOU.
Click the link for egg and bacon, or click the link for bacon and eggs