Figuring out what I wanna be when I grow up.
Oop..I AM grown up...


Thursday, May 5, 2011

Oh Bugger It All, He's Stealing My Identity


BACON AND EGGS or EGG AND BACON--YOU decide


My sister has lately been LURVING all the stupid little English expressions we use around the homestead here.  Some of them snuck up on me with such insidiousness that I hardly even realised I'd been taken over...

taken over by THE MAN. 

Let me tell you about it.  The Man was not born here.  He was born in England.  He moved here with his family when he was 9.  There's really no reason to still have retained so much English-ness.  ASSIMILATE, DAMN IT, ASSIMILATE.  He even still has a bit of an accent, but he Canadians-it-up when he's talking to me, and the common masses.  But not the kids.  He laspses into accent when he's talking to the kids.  Like a secret club that I only have a basic membership to.

But still, all this marital proximity has snuck up on me, and I'm sad to realise that my bland, non-descript North American identity has morphed into something strange.  One morning when my sister phoned, I was getting ready for the day.  When I called back, I told her I was just GETTING A WASH. 

She snickered;  "'getting a wash,' eh?"

Me:  "what?"

her:  "you were GETTING a WASH?" 

And guess what, I have completely forgotten what the hell I used to say?  Getting a bath?  Getting a shower?  Taking a shower?  Taking a bath?  HAVING a bath?  Oh DEAR GOD, WHAT DID I USED TO SAY?

Yeah.  Did you know that I don't "sleep in" any longer?  No, sometimes if I'm lucky, I "have a lie in."  Have a lie in.  What the f*ck is that?

Also, I don't go to THE MALL any longer.  Now I "go to the shops." 

Oh, and we don't have bacon and eggs in this house any longer.  No.  We have EGG AND BACON. 

I don't "try" things any longer.  I "HAVE A GO" at it. 

if someone's playing a joke on me, I don't ask if they're "pulling my leg" any longer, I ask if they're HAVING ME ON. 

steak sauce is used for SAUSAGE ROLLS (pig in a blanket???) not STEAK


WHERE DID THESE PEOPLE COME FROM?  WHO AM I??? 

Yeah, live with someone long enough and tell me what qualities of theirs have rubbed off on YOU. 



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28 comments:

  1. At least you have your Blog that you can look back on and see what you used to say, or at least, write.
    "Resistance is Futile"
    m.

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  2. Hahaha - love it.
    My hubby wasn't even born there! We lived there for 5 years and have been BACK in Canada for 4 and STILL, he says things like:
    The High Street instead of Downtown
    Petrol instead of Gas
    Boot instead of Trunk...
    and I could make a long list. LOL
    Maybe one day, I'll HAVE A GO at making one.

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  3. for some reason i have been saying 'bloody hell' under my breath alot lately,i don,t live with an englishman ,maybe i am just often annoyed.

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  4. OH i am laughing here and i love this Karen! Right on this is great!!! My favourite all time show is As Time Goes By and i love they way the English talk!!! Good for you! Everyone here in BC thinks i have an American accent!! They all have tawngs here! ASk Melissa when she first called me she was taken aback..thought i was American!!
    Have a lie in today! Love it!!!!

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  5. I am totally against assimilation, if only because I love those expressions. LOVE!

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  6. Do you say, 'Loo', or 'trousers;?

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  7. Oh no, Mark--I'll never give in and be part of The Man collective! (who knew you were a Next Generation fan, by the way)

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  8. Ah, I see it really rubbed off on him Lady E. That's funny. I'd probably start saying stuff like that too, because I'm a sponge for wacky expressions.

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  9. well Paula, a) you probably are indeed annoyed, and b) you've probably been verbally neutered by having children too.

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  10. So Pam...does that mean that SUPER ANNOYING CHEF from out west...oh, what's his name...Anthony Sedlak represents the way people talk out there?!? I can't STAND IT! "Today I'm making pork chawps, on the grill. Make sure your grill is nice and hawt..." ARGH MY BLEEDING EARS.

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  11. Well Ms. Suniverse, you can enjoy them even more tomorrow when you get a wash. I still can't remember how I used to phrase that. I'm not kidding.

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  12. Nah, Matt, it's still "the can" and "my fat pants" around here.

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  13. I have never heard of him but yes they talk different from us. My husband says rock and garage strangely drives me nuts. His dad sounds like an old cowboy so does his brother and friend!

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  14. Hm...very interesting Pam. That chef had a show on the food network for a while, and I could NOT watch him.

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  15. oh yeah, and I also forgot how Jon pronounces "Garage" to rhyme with "carriage" ...Gairidge...I refuse to succumb to that one though.

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  16. Bullocks!
    (I have no idea why I just wrote that but for some reason I am pressing publish anyway.)

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  17. well, you PRESS that publish button, and do it with bloody IMPUNITY!!!

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  18. Soon the kids will ask for a "rubber" instead of an "eraser" "pants" are "trousers", you'll be "mummy" the "children" will go to "university" and "read" "catch up" instead of "go out" and everything will be "quite interesting" and "lovely" if they do say so. . .

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  19. I want to be British. I want to say that. I think I will.

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  20. Good. See, there is hope for you after all. Cheerio!

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  21. Hey Pam what is bloody hell wrong with the way I say garage and rock??? LOL

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  22. actually, Christina, as a nerdy point of interest, here in canadaland, we either go to College or University, and they are different from one another, unlike in the U.S. where all places of higher learning are "College". Here, University has higher SNOB appeal, but College actually seems to get you a job.

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  23. You might as well, Melissa, after all--you're already a woman of aesthetics!

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  24. Hope for me? Is this the point where I say "oh sod off?" Har har..no, I'd never. There's no hope for me. I work hard to maintain some crudeness every day.

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  25. Oh LOOK AT THAT! SOME SPAM MADE IT PAST MY SHIELDS! Do I delete ANOYNYMOUS or leave it...

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  26. Yeah, I vote for DELETE. How DARE they use my blog to advertise travel?

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  27. When ever we get back from Texas, Rich picks up the accent.
    I even find myself saying stuff like "its in the deep freeze" (chest freezer) or "its just over yonder" (its over there) or ya'll (you pural ?)
    Rich's Grandma always says you can take the boy out of Texas but you take the Texas out of the boy.
    yikes

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  28. that's funny Steph! I have to admit, I do love 'y'all', ever since I went to North Carolina and Myrtle beach on a girlfriends vacation when I was in my 20's. Y'all stuck with me a bit. It's so friendly and colloquial.

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