Figuring out what I wanna be when I grow up.
Oop..I AM grown up...

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Random ANGST & Stuff Around The Homestead

Hi Buddy!  Remember US?!?


Hey, does anyone remember my good times with ANTS last year (go on, have a read:  it's a nice little story about ants, and the FLYING ANTS that poured up through the cold air return and into my bedroom last June.  Super Awesome!)?  Anyone?  Anyone?  Ants all over the kitchen?  Ants all over the pantry?  Ants all over my pantry shelves?  The two un-seen ants that were attached to the cookie that I tossed into my yap, that actually bit the inside of my cheek, and hooked on to the corner of my lips?

By the way, even though it was only those little black ants that bit my cheek and corner of my mouth, it freaking hurt.  Like fire.  Like fire that intensified and BURNED for a good fifteen minutes.  That, my friends, is NOT good times. 

Yesterday I found 25 of them swarming around some crumb in the doorway between the kitchen and pantry.  Of course this once again means war.


Hey Guys!  That Wacky Swastika's Back Again...

Recall near the beginning of April when I happened to discover one of Jack's drawings with a SWASTIKA on it (click HERE), and my cousin Pam at French Buttons, wisely advised me to just let sleeping dogs lie, and not bring up the issue to Jack, and just let the whole thing blow over?  Remember what good advice that was? 

BUT, because I'm a BLABBERMOUTH, and Jack spotted his drawing on my blog one day, I opened up my traitorous yap and said;

"you know, that's a very controversial symbol, but I'll tell you all about it when I have more time." 

I tried, oh how I tried to stress and emphasize and make no bones about how that symbol is now and forever associated with great evil.  I told little innocent 7 year old boy that even though it once was a symbol of "good luck," it could never be again, because what has been done can not be UNDONE, and blah, blah, blah. 

Oh, and did I mention how kids on the spectrum seem to lurv to latch on to something and hold on to it until they've long since burnt everybody else out on it???
So, now that the swastika, is, unfortunately, FASCINATING, I have to talk about it at least three times a day:

Jack:  "mom, what does the swastika look like?"

Me:  "I guess it looks kind of like a crooked star."  (I don't know people, what should I have said?  It looks like EVIL AND SUFFERING, DO NOT LOOK UPON IT!!)

Jack:  "but why can't it be good?"

Me:  "BECAUSE!  The people who chose it as their symbol were very, very bad."

Jack:  "am I bad?"
Me:  "like the Nazis?!?  No.  You're not bad.  You're a little bit naughty sometimes, but not bad." 

Jack:  "can I draw that symbol?"
Me:  "how bout you draw other, nice things, like guitars and violins?"

Jack:  "but I WANT TO DRAW THAT SYMBOL!  Am I BAD if I draw that symbol??"
Me:  "NO, you're not bad."

Jack:  "so can I draw it then?"

Me:  "why do you want to draw it?"

Jack (like it's obvious, and I'm slightly stoopid):  "because I have to???"

Me:  "Okay, you can draw it, but you MUST UNDERSTAND that it is very serious, and it's a symbol that causes a lot of people a lot of pain, even if they just look at it.  You must understand that it is very, very serious." 

And on, and on, and on. 

Then, a few days later:

Jack:  "Mom, who is Hitler?'

Then, a day or so after that:

Jack: "Mom!  Look at this drawing I did!  This is me, wearing a uniform (not just any uniform, kids), and this is my sister Ella looking at me, but I changed the swastika into a STAR!"

Kids.  There's something sweet, and completely tragic that my little kid has drawn a picture of him wearing what he thinks is a very sharp uniform, but instead of a swastika on his arm, he's made it into a star.  He's trying to change bad to good. 

Oh brother.


Instant Oatmeal's On Its Way OUT!

Yeah, the boy is starting to get picky about one of the handful of things left he'll actually eat:  those packets of that garbagey instant oatmeal.  He only really likes the cinnamon flavours, and will sorta live with "apple cinnamon" and kinda endure "maple and brown sugar," but guess what...and see if you hear me on this one, parents of PICKY EATERS:  I can only get the cinnamon flavour in the "assorted" box.  That means, out of 10 packets of oatmeal in a box, there are only 2 THAT ARE CINNAMON. 

Oh, but they sell CINNAMON flavoured oatmeal, you say.  Do they?  Do they, people?  Sure, they do--in the WEIGHT CONTROL boxes,  or the SUGAR REDUCED boxes.  And Jack, like all true picky eaters, recognises these subtle differences IMMEDIATELY and will not eat them. 

Ditto for strawberry flavoured oatmeal, which comes in the store brand assorted box.  Two packets of strawberry and that's it.  Do they sell strawberry on its own?  Sure they do!  WITH FREAKING VANILLA.  Jack hisses at vanilla. 

Is there anyone else out there, who, like me, either has written, or feels like writing to the great food companies to beg them to make a whole box of that one and only thing their kid likes, or to mail them a whole bunch of that one thing their kid likes because they're willing to fork out good money just to have it SO THEIR KID CAN FREAKING EAT???

Yup.  Can't wait until oatmeal is off the menu, and in the food graveyard with cheese sandwiches, peanut butter sandwiches, and all fruit. 

And finally...

We had a federal election here in Canada yesterday.  Does anyone give a crap?  Well, it's kinda interesting because the Bloc Quebecois basically DISAPPEARED!  SUCK ON THAT, SEPARATIST JERKS. 

Still, I headed off to the polls with my little voter card in hand, with heavy heart, and legs like lead, because I fear that nothing will ever change, and you could insert any new clown into the power seat and it would still be the same old garbage, and they'll continue to sh*t on our health care.  Some dope, who will always go to the front of the line because he's rich, or he'll just go off to the U.S. for health care, as all the rest of us could only dream of doing, will think it's a logical and fine idea to close emergency rooms in some cities, and CENTRALIZE hospital services.  Nevermind that some people in my town can't afford a car, sorry chump; you'll have to have your new baby in the next city over. 

F*CKING morons. 

Ah, if only apathy wasn't a major Canadian trait.  We'd stop "whatever-ing" ourselves into ruin. 

And now I shall shut it, and go indulge in a rare, 2nd cup of coffee, because it's just so sh*tty and cold outside, and I almost can't take it because if it doesn't stop raining soon, I will be forced to go out and buy the appropriate attire like FREAKING RAIN BOOTS and a FREAKING RAIN COAT, because my standard MOM UNIFORM of cotton hoody and running shoes are just not cutting it these days.

Peace out, homegirls and homeboys.

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  1. The ants and mice are back here too!! Cheers!
    Well i tried to warn you about opening a can of worms lol ! I like the star idea though!

    I'm happy happy about the election and yes Quebec can suck on it!

    YOu need rain attaire? Now you know how i feel! I traded in a parka for a rain coat...i still haven't decided which i hate worse!

    Oh i wanted to let you know there is a competition here by BC hydro for schools to participate in the environment challenge. Sam and two boys from his class were chosen to make a video about how to help the environment. The winning school gets $1000! His video was awesome but it was on those hateful lightbullbs.
    Today he is at a young authours conference with famous Canadian authors! He loves to write stories.
    Maybe he can start a blog lol !

  2. ants are so annoying.
    kids who won't eat food that the rest of the family likes are annoying.
    politics are annoying.
    swastikas are annoying. and bad. but that doesn't make jack bad. just annoying cuz he's drawing them & making you deal with the topic over & over.
    i'm a blabbermouth & therefore i cause trouble with my child too. if i could just keep my damn mouth shut sometimes i'd be able to save myself some trouble with the kid. but no, i'm annoying, thereby causing myself annoyance.

  3. I know, right, it's shitty and cold here too in Winnipeg. I'm about ready to curl up into the fetal position until July.
    And the story about your son and his swastika obsession is hysterical! I have a 13 year old like that, only for him it's not the swastika, it's the word "shitty." He wonders if he can say it, and why can't he say it, and it's not really a bad word because it mentions fecal matter (well, he didn't actually say 'fecal matter' that's more my substitution)...good luck with the swastika situation. I hope you win. Not betting you will though, but I hope you do! :)

  4. Steph (who should be working but enjoyng your blog instead)May 3, 2011 at 5:50 PM

    Ben loves Frosted Flakes...have you seen how much they are a box now?? So oh! I will save some $$ and buy the no name brand...Ben saw it and freaked out...refused to eat Rich and I were left eattign the no name unloved ceral..turns out...its the freakin same thing...So I nicely switched boxes. the no name frosted ceral i snicely in the Frosted Flakes ceral box...the only trick is...we have to take good care of that box! Perhaps you can try that with the reduced sugar flavered stuff??
    Oh the ants! we have some of those guests now too...along with thier little tiny fly friends...damp weather. Did I ever tell you the storey of me steppign into a fireant pit?? It was night time, we were in texas, at a rodeo...not kidding! We were walking back to the car, me wearign my cute little sandles...then OMG the pain! OH the Pain!! OMG! got to the car and my mother in law says "oh you got the fireants.." nothing more, no I thought I was going to die! The fire ants are the reason every one wears cowboy boots in Texas...thats my theory.
    The election...geez...wasnt that great...well i did get a kick the Bloc...

  5. how would jack react if you said'yes you are bad if youy draw that symbol' would he stop or do it even more? that would work on our kid,he does not like to get in trouble,esp. at school[though i could scar him for life].i am down with lying to jack about the oatmeal,buy the light kind, then put it in the other box, mke sure you turn your back when you pour out the package and stick the evidence quickly into your pocket, and remember to carefully dispose of the original box, but not in your garbage, but a anouther location,if you have a big purse stuff in there.oh boy, i think i have a new career as an cia agent,code name 'MEAN MOM'.

  6. Yeah, you did indeed try to warn me Pam, and your advice WAS working. Ah well--me and my big mouth. That's fantastic about Sam. Tell him to pursue whatever he's passionate about with GUSTO. SCREW MATH!!!

  7. See Sherilin? Isn't it annoying? Let's make t-shirts that say "ANNOYING!" on them. Yeah, I'm tired of talking about the swastika and Nazi Germany every day.

  8. Sandra, I asked my sister tonight if I should just make Jack watch Schindler's List. That's not too heavy for a 1st grader is it? That's hilarious about your son. Jack loves him some bad words too. Only in my rarest, deepest moments of boiling anger have I dropped the f bomb in front of the kids, and Jack's quiet delight was nearly palpable.

  9. Steph, that makes me laugh, re; the cereal box. I have read stories about people with kids on the spectrum who've done that because their kids totally freak about having to have their same certain food all the time. No, I'm not implying Ben's on the spectrum, btw. The box thing wouldn't work on Jack, because he never pays attention to his oatmeal boxes, alas.

    What did you do to make the fire ant pain go away?!? HORRIFYING.

    yeah, the election was really something. At least some new dum-dums are stepping up to bat...

  10. Oh Paula, "Mean Mom" is already taken, and I'm not giving it up, har har. Yeah, like I said--it's not about the packaging for Jack. He detects the most MINUTE subtleties in taste, smell and texture. He has the world's strongest sense of smell (or close to it), which is prob. why he hates most food in the first place. He practically hurls whenever we bring a roasted chicken home from Sobeys.

  11. Oh yeah Paula...and if I told him he was 'bad' for drawing it, he'd be HORRIFIED, but would still need to draw it.

  12. Ahhh, I wiped out a swarm of hundreds of ants attacking a cracker or piece of bread or something else I could not quite recognize due to the ant-ball covering it. It was quick and humane, so no one get bent out of shape about insect rights or anythng.

    Oatmeal? Is it foolish to suggest him getting plain oatmeal where he can add his own sugar and cinammon to taste?

    Election? At least all the 'shockers' made for lots to talk about on the broadcasts. The good news is that a majority government makes sure we aren't dragged through this again for 4-5 years. It will hide all that apathy to which you refer! ;)

  13. my kid has the opposite reaction to bad words. once she learned that they exist & we try not to say them, she's horrified when anyone she knows says one. and the other day she was mad, so she was letting out a stream of goobledy gook words & she said, "bucking, nucking, gucking, fucking!" when i pointed out that she had actually said a bad word, she cried for half an hour & kept bringing it up all day to tell me how she's a bad person & her day is ruined. ugh. annoying.
    let's make tshirts. we can wear them every day like a uniform.

  14. Matt--what was that fancy word you had for apathy...oh, it will come back to me at some point today maybe.

    Anyhow, your ant ball story made me laugh out loud. Was that in your house recently? That's completely uncool.

    Your oatmeal idea is not foolish in theory, and yet, for some reason that packet is saltier than all the rest. Jack only has one basic food group: SUGAR.

  15. Sherilin, that story was so funny, about Brooke and her accidental swear, not only did I laugh out loud, I actually had to pound my fist on the computer desk here. Whenever Jack hears a bad word, he's so excited it's kind of like a present just arrived for him by courier. He will FEIGN shock though.

  16. they would either be black t shirts with all caps ANNOYING in white, or white t-shirts with black writing...or would we do pink shirts with swirly girly writing? Hm! So MANY choices!

  17. I remember your ant story. It was the first one I read.

    Oh boy you need to chronicle that boys adventures with the swastika....had me speachless. Especially when he started drawing the star.

    As for the election. I am passionate and because we are a pile of unorganized lumps, we missed our right to vote by missing our right to vote EARLY ane were in Calgary on our day to vote....which is a heck of a long way away from out voting place.

    AS that knaws away at my soul, the fact I did not vote, I had a huge laugh at your comment about the Block Quebecois. My son was very excited, at that fact they were almost wiped off the map.

    He is 18 and very much into politcal science, and the history of Canada.....and because we are stoopid loafs of unorganization, my politically minded son missed his FIRST vote....

    oh well I am happy we at least have a majority vote, and maybe somebody can actually do something around here. Besides I kinda like it that Stephen can play the piano.

  18. Well Melissa, I'm sorry you missed your chance to vote. That is very cool that your son is so politically minded already.

    Yeah, Jack and the swastika. We need to talk about it DAILY, whether I like it or not. I'm all, can't you just go back to liking The HOLLIES instead???

    Yeah, good old ants. Better get a bug sprayer in here STAT.

  19. i definitely think black shirts, tight across the boobs, but loose around the belly. wait, that sounds like a maternity shirt.
    anywhoo, i think the letters should be sparkly & pink & possibly in a flowing script so it's not obvious at first glance what the word says. they'd have to stare at our tits to make it out. then when look up into our faces, we could give them a good, "yeah, you're just one more annoying thing to add to my list" look. it'll be awesome.
    i bet we could get a few more people in on this & work up a group discount!

  20. oo...I like the ANNOYING shirt. I like it a lot. But what if someone reads in and thinks I'm saying I'M annoying? That would be very annoying.


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