Holy frock, I'm tired.
Oh...I was totally interrupted there for a moment. The Man said; "just so you know, Ella's very busy in the bathroom."
When little kids are quietly busy, this almost never turns out well. When little kids are "playing" in the bathroom, this also doesn't have a happy ending, usually. She was washing her my little pony with Head & Shoulders shampoo. Normally I'd have been all over that, but it just so happens the coffee is in the mug, and we all know where my priorities lie.
Don't Call me STU
So what's been happening here....well, Jack is still calling us "Stu" with the relentlessness that only a ruthless child on the spectrum, who incidentally has no fear of his parents, has. It goes a little something like this: "Jack, you need to get dressed for school now."
Jack: "okay, STU."
or, "Jack, you HAVE to wear your rain coat today."
Jack: "okay, STU."
I need to do a whole post on being called "Stu." I know you're perplexed, but I have to go to that slightly draining early year's centre so Ella can have some play time soon, so I'm short on time.
I Don't Wanna Talk About Hitler Anymore
Yes, that's right. We're still dealing with that silly old swastika (yeah, I lamented this HERE, and HERE). And as I'm puttering around doing my thing during the day, I get the odd, out-of-left-field kind of questions and exclamations:
Jack: "Mom, does Hitler sing OPERA?"
Jack: "If I saw Hitler, I would tell him that he's STUPID!"
Jack: "Mom, do you like this drawing I did with the swastikas on it?"
Jack: "Mom, Ella doesn't understand about the swastika. She thinks it's a JOKE."
*for the record, Ella doesn't even appear to think about or have any interest in the swastika, so she neither thinks it's a serious symbol, nor a joke symbol. She's usually too busy trying to figure out the best way to cram Barbie's uncooperative limbs into a little ball gown.
Then, the kids were over at Grampa's yesterday. Jack likes to make anyone and everyone type up Youtube search requests for him. 95% of them are vague. Jack does NOT TOLERATE ignorance. This means, that when we don't know what he's asking for, he freaks out. So, the phone rang, and it was Dad:
Dad: "Jack wants something on youtube, and I don't know what it is. Jack, what is it called again? FURT ... WANGLER???"
Me: "yeah. Furtwangler. All one word. 'F', 'U', 'R', 'T', 'wangler'. All one word."
What? You don't know about Wilhelm Furtwangler, the famous German conductor? Well, let's do a tidy little cut and paste job from Wikipedia then, and we can all learn together! Hooray!
Wilhelm Furtwängler (January 25, 1886 – November 30, 1954) was a German conductor and composer. He is widely considered to have been one of the greatest symphonic and operatic conductors of the 20th century. By the 1930s he had built a reputation as one of the leading conductors in Europe, and he was the leading conductor who remained in Germany during the Second World War. Although he was never a member of the Nazi party, the morality of his decision to remain working in Germany during this period has been continually debated since his death. However even today, many musicians, critics and record collectors still revere him for his very subjective conducting style, which is often compared and contrasted to the more objective style of Arturo Toscanini, who was probably the most famous conductor at the time. Like Toscanini, Furtwängler was a major influence on many later conductors, and his name is often mentioned when discussing their interpretive style.There, wasn't that nice?
Well, search him on youtube. There are many fine, Nazi concerts for your viewing enjoyment.
Why can't the kid be a monster SPIDERMAN fan?!?
The Quest for Quality Sleep Continues
Well, I broke down and bought some melatonin. All natural product...supposed to be good for helping you fall asleep, blah, blah, blah. I'm not a big fan of sleep aids, but every now and then people, I just. do. not. want. to. hear. any. snoring. It's not just The Man's fault of course; I'll wake up if Ella rolls over in bed too vigorously in her room above me.
I have a cold right now. No--don't panic, I'm fine. Well, actually, I'm a little bit pissy and on edge, but that's because my throat's been hurting like a demon motherf*cker for 3 days now. Anyhoo, I just wanted to get a good night's sleep.
Melatonin's kinda interesting, because the body makes it naturally. It's what makes us feel sleepy at night (if we have the right amount in our system), and it's at its highest levels between 2 and 4 in the morning.
The package had a warning that it may cause "vivid dreams." Well that's cool, I thought. I was hoping for some sexy dreams, like I had recently...which for some reason always star this one guy from elementary school (and the same highschool), who I don't particularly remember having a crush on, and he was, incidentally, a slightly popular jerk. Hm...go figure.
I have lots of recurring craziness in my dreams anyway, and most of it's annoying, so I was hoping for some recurring sexiness (even if the sexiness is really only ever just a tease, and lord knows some familial noise is going to wake me up before anything ever gets really good anyway...where was I...). However, I had one of those stupid, typical dreams I have, in which I can never EVER dial a phone. I always get about half way through pressing the buttons, and my big dream ham fingers will mash two buttons at once, or the number will be ridiculously long, and I'll get two thirds of the way through it and make a mistake and have to start again.
What was the point of this? Oh yeah, I had some weird dreams, but no GOOD x-rated weird dreams. Nuts. Thanks for nothing, melatonin.
I Loves Me Some More Rejection
I keep my eye on this online job board for bloggers. If I ever get a real job related to my writing, I'll clean the resentment dust off my diploma, and maybe even put a frame on it!
Anyhoo, there was this website that was looking for writers to contribute regularly to the language section of their blog. What they want are short-ish, snappy, witty, crackling little pieces about the idiosyncracies of, well, language. Well, hell, I like words! I lurv me some words! So, I crafted up some bit of fluff and emailed it to them.
Undt zen I got this reply:
Thank you for submitting your article to [BlahBlahBlah]. Unfortunately, we will not be able to publish your article at this time. Please do not hesitate to submit future articles for our consideration.
Bummer. Guess I still have to scrub toilets and craft up hamburger-based casseroles a little while longer.