|image from HERE|
In a mere few weeks, guess who is going to be my neighbour?!?
Is that not weird? Is that not completely bizarre? Well, maybe not, but she's going to move in to the house right across the street from me.
I told her that we'd each be at the front windows of our respective homes, like this:
Here's ME looking at HER, looking at ME looking at HER.
But what if it's a bit weird too? Like, what if she calls up and says; "karen, I saw you naked, making the bed in Ella's room." Then I guess I WILL have to go tell The Man that he was right: that people CAN see into the front windows from the street during the day.
Soon, she will take posession of that house. Then we get to clean it! Hooray! And this is good, because for some reason, the house smelled like a giant (used) maxi pad when we were looking through it.
Yeah, okay girls. Don't play COY with me. You KNOW what I'm talking about. So, we are going to scrub that maxi pad smell out of it, and we are going to clean that joint from top to bottom, and we are going to wear those HEINOUS RUBBER GLOVES, WHICH, INCIDENTALLY, WERE INVENTED BY SATAN, BECAUSE HANDS SHOULD NEVER FEEL THAT SWEATY.
And most importantly, I am going to make my sister get rid of the TRACK LIGHTING.
karen's rant about TRACK LIGHTING
Track lighting is retarded. Yes, that's right: retarded. I hate it. Do you know when track lighting looks good? in an ART GALLERY, or a store, where they want to showcase their wares. Track lighting to me screams (in a smooth, smarmy voice...so I guess it doesn't scream it, but whatever); 'hey ladies, I'm a bachelor, and I have TRACK LIGHTING in my house, and a black bed spread, with zebra striped throw pillows, because I'm a MANIMAL. Grrr! Check out how HAWT you look under my TRACK LIGHTING. Sorry, that's what track lighting says to me, even if it is both untrue and unfair.
Eff, I hate it.
And, that house has an awesome front porch. I said we'll be having cocktails on that front porch, but I'll have to keep running back to my house to make them, because people: we know where the booze is AT. This is when my sister protested that she "always has alcohol in her house." Yeah. Because she doesn't drink it.
Also, we can kinda have conversations from one front window to the next, because my sister is really good at reading lips! I however suck at it, so she'll have to hold up large signs! And when my kids turn into little F&*#$, I will shriek at them:
GO TO AUNT AIMEE'S RIGHT NOW
And all will be well in the world!
I wonder if she'll have an ant problem at HER new house...