Well, my 4 year old daughter Ella is off to the hospital to see if they can get that mystery BLUE stuff out of her ear. Yeah, I already ranted about that HERE. Can't wait to see what that turns out to be. Actually, I do look forward to seeing it, because we want the docs to say they can get it out. The thing was coming out yesterday, according to The Man, but then the kid pushed it back up there again. No worries--she hasn't complained AT ALL. Yes, let's all join hands people, and send positive energy to the doctors and their crafty extraction tools.
My girlie is something else. She hurts herself CONSTANTLY. Why, just this morning she already bit her cheek twice, and then after one too many twirls in her summer dress she collided with the door frame. And when she gets hurt--she WAILS. Oh, she reaches decibals that the average person can't reach. When she was a newborn, and I had to change that diaper at 4 in the morning, and she'd be WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
tired, bedgraggled karen would actually put her hands over her ears for a moment for a little respite from the FREAKING NOISE.
Also, she is constantly saying crazy things, and I try to scribble them down in my notepad whenever I'm able. So, in honour of Ella, I thought I'd clack up some of her craziness just for you.
* One morning at Jack's school, as we were waiting for the bell to ring, a dad of one of the kindergarten kids walked up with his daughter.
Ella: "Mom, would you have a date with that man?"
Ella: "What?! I want you to have a date with him!"
Me: "I can't."
Me: "I'm married to daddy!"
* Ella, to an 11 year old kid at Mcdonk's playland:
"HEY, BIG BOY! BETCHA CAN'T SEE A LITTLE FART IN YOUR BUM!"
* Ella, coming in to brush her teeth before school while I'm still naked and getting ready:
"I love your belly, mom, but I'm allergic to nipples. I don't want my knees to touch them."
Ella: "bad guys have POWER POOP."
Ella: "Yeah. Power poop."
Ella: "Does Gravy grow in meat?"
Me: "Does gravy grow in meat??? Well gravy is made from meat juices."
* Grabbing a handful chest pudge and kissing it:
"I love my little baby nibbles!"
* "Dad, let's play my game; 'If You Don't Have Trust It's Time For Revenge.'"
* "'P' is a letter, a vegetable, and a juice."
* Ella, leaning against me and yawning loudly...
Me: "Are you tired today?"
Ella: "Does a cat pee in a cat litter box?"
Me: "I guess that means 'yes.'"
At TOP VOLUME in the back yard as she's floating around in her little pool:
"MOM, ONE DAY WHEN I'M A LADY RED BLOOD WILL COME OUT OF MY VAGINA."
Crazy kid. Hurry up and get that mystery blue object out of your freaking ear!!! I hope you're all having a stress-free weekend, that doesn't involve long, boring trips to the emergency room!
Hey, if you'd like to read more crazy Ella-ness, just click the link:That Kid Is A SCREAM