Figuring out what I wanna be when I grow up.
Oop..I AM grown up...


Saturday, July 9, 2011

The ELLA FILES

Well, my 4 year old daughter Ella is off to the hospital to see if they can get that mystery BLUE stuff out of her ear.  Yeah, I already ranted about that HERE.  Can't wait to see what that turns out to be.  Actually, I do look forward to seeing it, because we want the docs to say they can get it out.  The thing was coming out yesterday, according to The Man, but then the kid pushed it back up there again.  No worries--she hasn't complained AT ALL.  Yes, let's all join hands people, and send positive energy to the doctors and their crafty extraction tools. 

Sigh. 

My girlie is something else.  She hurts herself CONSTANTLY.  Why, just this morning she already bit her cheek twice, and then after one too many twirls in her summer dress she collided with the door frame.  And when she gets hurt--she WAILS.  Oh, she reaches decibals that the average person can't reach.  When she was a newborn, and I had to change that diaper at 4 in the morning, and she'd be WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

tired, bedgraggled karen would actually put her hands over her ears for a moment for a little respite from the FREAKING NOISE. 

Also, she is constantly saying crazy things, and I try to scribble them down in my notepad whenever I'm able.  So, in honour of Ella, I thought I'd clack up some of her craziness just for you.

* One morning at Jack's school, as we were waiting for the bell to ring, a dad of one of the kindergarten kids walked up with his daughter.
Ella"Mom, would you have a date with that man?"


Me:  "sssshhh!!"

Ella:  "What?! I want you to have a date with him!"
Me:  "I can't."

Ella:  "why?"
Me:  "I'm married to daddy!"



* Ella, to an 11 year old kid at Mcdonk's playland:
"HEY, BIG BOY! BETCHA CAN'T SEE A LITTLE FART IN YOUR BUM!"

* Ella, coming in to brush her teeth before school while I'm still naked and getting ready:
"I love your belly, mom, but I'm allergic to nipples.  I don't want my knees to touch them."

*
Ella:  "Mom?"
Me: "yeah?"

Ella:  "bad guys have POWER POOP."
Me:  "yeah?"

Ella:  "Yeah.  Power poop."

*
Ella:  "Does Gravy grow in meat?"
Me:  "Does gravy grow in meat???  Well gravy is made from meat juices."

Ella:  "Ucccccchhh!"


* Grabbing a handful chest pudge and kissing it:

"I love my little baby nibbles!"



* "Dad, let's play my game; 'If You Don't Have Trust It's Time For Revenge.'"


* "'P' is a letter, a vegetable, and a juice."


* Ella, leaning against me and yawning loudly...
Me:  "Are you tired today?"

Ella:  "Does a cat pee in a cat litter box?"
Me:  "I guess that means 'yes.'"

Ella:  "yes."



At TOP VOLUME in the back yard as she's floating around in her little pool:

"MOM, ONE DAY WHEN I'M A LADY RED BLOOD WILL COME OUT OF MY VAGINA."


Crazy kid.  Hurry up and get that mystery blue object out of your freaking ear!!!  I hope you're all having a stress-free weekend, that doesn't involve long, boring trips to the emergency room!


Hey, if you'd like to read more crazy Ella-ness, just click the link:That Kid Is A SCREAM

17 comments:

  1. Wow--she's a mess! Does a cat pee in a litter box! Priceless!

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  2. Ok, I love this little girl. She should hook up with my 4yo nephew. He has silly phrases like "There's a hole in my blood" and "That kitty is a dragon kitty."

    Imagine the conversations they could have!

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  3. Ella is hilarious. she would fit in well with our girls.

    a week ago Thursday, Carly aka The Gosoe age 6, fell off her bed and got 4 stitches on her chin. A few days later, Lyla aka Bug age 7, fell off her scooter and bruised her ribs, fingers and toe.

    i can relate

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  4. good-bye Blues we all hope! She sounds quite tough - so it might be you with the tears again, my dear. Meanwhile, you were featured in yesterday's video, because we love ya' maybe it will make you laugh - hope so!!!!!
    Good luck at the ER - you can tell them, "NO INTERNS OR STUDENTS!" I've heard (in the U.S. at least) July is the training time in the Hospitals - just a thought : )

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  5. she seems to have mixed feeling about nipples, doesn't she? and that mystery blue ear thing sounds vaguely distressing. i now feel compelled to read that other post to see what this is about.

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  6. Loved it - this gave me giggles :-)

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  7. Mess indeed, A&A! The litterbox line took me a little aback. It was pretty clever.

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  8. LinI, somehow "there's a hole in my blood" has really struck me. What does it mean?? WHAT DOES IT MEAN? Yeah, they'd probably have some wild convos.

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  9. Lance, I didn't even like reading these tales of disaster, because Ella hurts herself so much it's ridiculous. She was riding a merry-go-round on Canada Day, and I was nearly beside myself with terror hoping she wouldn't decide to get off mid-ride.

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  10. luckily, Christina, I didn't go to the ER--The Man did! Hooray! Thanks for the vid feature--I'll check it out ASAP :)

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  11. Oh Sherilinnie, I guess with all your family business you may have missed that post. No worries, let me sum it up for you: Ella went for a physical and DPTP needle, and the doc looked in her ear and said there was something blue in it.

    Now the blue thing's out, and all will be revealed soon!

    and yes, she does tend to focus on nipples a lot. Or 'nibbles.' Whatever.

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  12. true Laoch, even if it is exhausting at times.

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  13. WOW! This cracked me up to no end. Your daughter is freaking hilarious. I thought that my kids were funny. Thank you so much for sharing. I think I earned an ab muscle from that post.

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  14. you earned an ab muscle?!? THAT SOUNDS FABULOUS. That's it...I'll have to practice laughing more often.

    Har, I kid. Thanks iMentalMommy!

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  15. Ella and Carly - now 7 need to meet. They sound so similar.

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