|You annoy me, Harry Potter, but you're still not as annoying as that f*cking idiot who brought her 4 year old to see this|
On Saturday night, The Man and I ditched our kids at Grandparents' House O' Fun, SPECIFICALLY so we could go see THE LAST HARRY POTTER MOVIE.
Because that's how I roll now: I get all excited for Harry Potter films. Of which there will be no more. Oh, and I make sure to go to the EARLY SHOW, so I don't have to stay up so late. But I still stayed up too late, because as soon as we returned home, we spent the next 2 and a half hours watching MY BIG FAT GYPSY WEDDING on tv, because, people--that is a TRAIN WRECK that you can not look away from. I've never seen anything so fantastically tacky and overblown in my whole life. Completely fascinating.
But, like I was saying, we were all geared up to see the last Potter flick. It's a bit sad that it was the last one, because 98% of movies coming out these days SUCK, so who knows when the next good movie will come along. Incidentally, I don't get this: there are a lot of good books out there that could be turned into fantastic movies. Do we REALLY need another shitty ROM-COM starring Jennifer Why-is-she-so-rich-and-famous Aniston?!?
I'm not terribly sad that it was the end of the Harry Potter series, because, come on--what was that, like 7 years of Potter movies or something? No, I'm not doing the math on it, that was a guess. It was a lot at any rate.
So, what do we know about this series of movies? Well, like the books, the first one was filled with light-hearted whimsy and magic and some PG ideas about villains and bad guys. Perfectly fine for the kids.
Anything after that? Erm, no. The movies are chock full of darkness and murder and that scary snake-faced idiot LORD VOLDEMORT. So, is this stuff too much for me? Of course not. I'm a freaking grown up. I would also say that the series became progressively "darker" as it wound its way to its fairly violent conclusion.
Once again, no problem. Fine for older kids and adults. Very imaginative, good story line, good characters; fun, really detestable villains.
And yet, there I was in line to get a drink before the show, and I saw a mom I recognized from the Nursery school, and her husband, and her two kids. Her son and daughter were twirling around the lobby in their Harry Potter robes. Oh, I did say NURSERY SCHOOL, did I not??
HER SON IS FREAKING FOUR YEARS OLD...MAYBE ONLY JUST TURNED FOUR.
Seriously? Is she retarded? I couldn't stop thinking about what a total freaking idiot she is on and off during the movie. At first The Man tried to justify it by saying; "maybe they'd seen all the other movies," because yeah, that makes it all better.
I'm not going to give anything away...but after certain characters died, I hissed at him; "good scene for a FOUR YEAR OLD?" Then, during another part in the movie when dead bodies are all over the place, I whipped my head over again:
"this is CERTAINLY an appropriate scene for a FOUR YEAR OLD."
Seriously--if this doesn't give that kid nightmares, I'd be totally amazed.
So, there I was feeling all self-righteous and totally uppity, and then I remembered my little outing with the kids last week:
karen's Attempt to Cram The Little Savages Full of Culture
Okay, so since summer I've been trying lots of different ways to keep the kids occupied, and keep blood-shed and screaming to a minimum. I decided to take them to our local art gallery, because I hadn't been, and because Jack likes art, and I figured there'd be some entertaining stuff for kids as well.
Little did I know that the gallery is typically RINKY DINK for this city, which means that there is next to no funding, so it's a little ... lacking (ie; LAME).
We walked in, and most of the lights were off in the place because, hell, nobody else was there to look at art, and they have to save money. The youngish, hip curator of the gallery, quickly leapt up from his office, and I explained that we wanted to see the art. For some reason, the only freaking artist featured in the whole gallery is William Kurelek. You can read about him HERE, but I warn you: he's Canadian and therefore slightly bland :) OH, don't get all bent out of shape fellow Canadians: you know we're pleasant and slightly bland.
The gallery guy got a little wide eyed, and suggested that some of the works are a bit much for children, and maybe I should preview them first before deciding to let the kids see. Aw hell, I figured, I'm all new-agey and cool, and my kids and I TALK about stuff together, and if anything is a little provacative, we'll DISCUSS it together.
Erkay...the guy looked a little doubtful, but who is he to argue. So, he flicked some more lights on, and in we went. There's a fairly extensive section on Kurelek's Christ series, so if you're a fan of The Jesus, you'd probably find your trip worthwhile. I got a little tripped up at the pic where they've crowned him with thorns, and tried to explain it to a wide-eyed Ella as best as a heathen could. Okay, a bit much, but whatever. Moving along.
And then we came to the shiniest gem of all: Kurelek's graphic anti-abortion painting. If you'd like to see it, the only link I could find is HERE. Well poor little Ella looked HORRIFIED when she saw it, and I had to do some rapid back-peddling, and lie my ass off:
Moron Moi: "Oh, that's not BABIES...no, that's broken dolls and they're covered with KETCHUP!" Isn't that WEIRD? Well, that's how artists are sometimes--they want their art to be WEIRD. Ha ha ha, what a stupid painting eh? Come on kids, let's go play in the KIDS' section."
Then the next day, she was still thinking about it:
Ella: "but Mom, all those broken dolls would make me CRY."
Stupid Super-Liar Moron Moi: "didn't you see the other painting where all the dolls are FIXED? You didn't see that one? How did you miss it?!? Oh yeah...they're all fixed. Ha ha, aren't artists STRANGE sometimes honey?"
Three smacks on the wrist for karen.
|yes I is. (image from Here)|