|hair is wet and clean, not greasy, but look at that bump :(|
|OMG THE CARNAGE|
|not so happy after coming home from the hospital. I don't know why--it's such a fun place!|
|I had to take one of her being "stylie"|
|3 stitches = GOOD TIMES|
Have I told you about my 4 year old daughter?
Oh, that's right, I have. She says outrageous things. She's very funny. She's much easier to feed than her brother. She's giving me WHITE HAIR. Actually, I've added the "Ella" label to some of the posts about her, so if you care for a laugh, just click her keyword at the bottom of this post.
Oh yes, she's very clumsy. Clumsy's actually not a good enough word for her. She hurts herself so often, for the most part it makes me look like a bad mother, because I barely react now, and I seem to hardly care. Sorry, but if you're kid WIPES OUT about ten times per day, you start to become a little desensitized.
So, there we were, as usual, at the playground after school. I always let the kids play to burn off all that pent up school rage. So, she was climbing up this metal spiral thingy, that goes up to the top of the slide structure. She was a HORRIFYING TWO FEET OFF THE GROUND, when suddenly, she pulled an Ella, and just, well, fell off.
Even as I watched her fall off from where I was sitting about 10 feet away, there was a small part of my brain, confused, asking how the hell did she fall off??? She wasn't being crazy. She wasn't having a race with anyone. No. She was just being her little Ella self.
So, she hit the ground and started SCREAMING. She pretty much smashed everything she could smash on the way down Kind of like a human pinball. You know the scream of which I speak, parents, and careful observers: the scream that tells you something truly STOOPID has just happened.
Thus, I raced over to pick her up, and then saw
Ohdeargod I hate blood. Lots of blood, but coming from 2 places, so I was CONFUSED.
"Oh my god!" I said.
"OH MY GOD!!! JACK, GRAB THE SCHOOL BAGS!"
So we raced into the school, the custodian let us in, and we were soon surrounded by:
1. the principal
2. Jack's E.A.
3. the custodian
4. the kindergarten teacher
5. the french teacher
6. and the school health nurse, who just happened to still be there
It was like a freaking PLAY. The kindly nurse, in her scrubs, muscled in and asked if she could take a look. Go right ahead, lady, because I sure as hell don't have enough backbone to EVER be the person who can check out the BOOBOO to see just how serious it is.
So, Ella's sitting on a chair in the middle of the hallway with ice on her head and ice on her chin, and the nurse is telling me she'll need stitches, and Jack is standing there completely quiet with eyes the size of saucers, and I had to call The Man and nearly shout
"DO YOU WANT TO COME TO THE SCHOOL AND TAKE ELLA TO THE HOSPITAL TO GET SOME STITCHES SHE FELL ON THE PLAYGROUND"
and then I'm trying to convey to the crowd that I'm not a total dirtbag mom, not paying attention to my kids because Ella was --literally?--TWO FEET off the ground.
My favourite part, now as I look back on it, was when I ran to the front door of the school to see if The Man had arrived yet, and as I was walking away, the nurse was saying;
"Ella! Ella! Stay with me, Ella! Stay with me!"
and I was thinking; "STAY WITH ME?!?!? MY GOD DO WE NEED AN AMBULANCE?!?"
Stay with me. Sheesh.
Nobody should say "stay with me" unless that person is DYING, okay? That shit is horrifying to panicky moms.
And so, Ella was loaded into The Man's car, and off the two of them went to the hospital for 3 stitches, and some oo-ing and ah-ing over how cute the nurses thought she was.
In the meantime, I walked home with Jack.
Hi, do you happen to know that one of the common traits of a SPECTRUM kid is a noted lack of APATHY? Yeah. That sucks when you feel completely maxed out.
Me: "that was TERRIBLE!"
Jack: "Mom, stop being so grouchy."
Me: "I'm not being grouchy, I'm stressed!"
Jack: "why are you stressed?"
Me: "WHY DO YOU THINK?"
Jack: "I don't know! Tell me!"
Me: "okay, yeah, good one Jack. Why am I stressed. WHAT JUST HAPPENED?"
Jack: "I don't remember?"
Me: "UH, your sister got hurt? Blood everywhere?"
Jack: "Mom, stop sounding so grouchy."
Me: "I'M NOT GROUCHY, I'M HORRIFIED"
Jack: "Okay, mom, okay. Just try to calm down, because you're really, really, really making me angry."
Then I turned into the hulk.
Then we inhaled a whole lot of McDonalds.
My children will be the death of me.
P.S. Ella's okay today. She's been happily running around--as The Man and I wilt with terror and say "ELLA TAKE IT EASY TODAY", and saying that the doctor's had to "sew her back up."
P.P.S. I got all that blood out of her shirt. BOO YAH I AM A ROCKSTAR! SUCK ON THAT B*TCHES!