Figuring out what I wanna be when I grow up.
Oop..I AM grown up...

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

New Improved Tuesdays-Now with HEART ATTACKS!

hair is wet and clean, not greasy, but look at that bump :(


not so happy after coming home from the hospital. I don't know why--it's such a fun place!

I had to take one of her being "stylie"

3 stitches = GOOD TIMES

Have I told you about my 4 year old daughter?

Oh, that's right, I have.  She says outrageous things.  She's very funny.  She's much easier to feed than her brother.  She's giving me WHITE HAIR.  Actually, I've added the "Ella" label to some of the posts about her, so if you care for a laugh, just click her keyword at the bottom of this post.

Oh yes, she's very clumsy.  Clumsy's actually not a good enough word for her. She hurts herself so often, for the most part it makes me look like a bad mother, because I barely react now, and I seem to hardly care.  Sorry, but if you're kid WIPES OUT about ten times per day, you start to become a little desensitized.

So, there we were, as usual, at the playground after school.  I always let the kids play to burn off all that pent up school rage.  So, she was climbing up this metal spiral thingy, that goes up to the top of the slide structure.  She was a HORRIFYING TWO FEET OFF THE GROUND, when suddenly, she pulled an Ella, and just, well, fell off.

Even as I watched her fall off from where I was sitting about 10 feet away, there was a small part of my brain, confused, asking  how the hell did she fall off???  She wasn't being crazy.  She wasn't having a race with anyone.  No.  She was just being her little Ella self.

So, she hit the ground and started SCREAMING.  She pretty much smashed everything she could smash on the way down  Kind of like a human pinball.  You know the scream of which I speak, parents, and careful observers:  the scream that tells you something truly STOOPID has just happened.

Thus, I raced over to pick her up, and then saw


Ohdeargod I hate blood.  Lots of blood, but coming from 2 places, so I was CONFUSED.

"Oh my god!"  I said.


So we raced into the school, the custodian let us in, and we were soon surrounded by:

1. the principal
2. Jack's E.A.
3. the custodian
4. the kindergarten teacher
5. the french teacher
6. and the school health nurse, who just happened to still be there

It was like a freaking PLAY.  The kindly nurse, in her scrubs, muscled in and asked if she could take a look.  Go right ahead, lady, because I sure as hell don't have enough backbone to EVER be the person who can check out the BOOBOO to see just how serious it is.

So, Ella's sitting on a chair in the middle of the hallway with ice on her head and ice on her chin, and the nurse is telling me she'll need stitches, and Jack is standing there completely quiet with eyes the size of saucers, and I had to call The Man and nearly shout


and then I'm trying to convey to the crowd that I'm not a total dirtbag mom, not paying attention to my kids because Ella was --literally?--TWO FEET off the ground.

My favourite part, now as I look back on it, was when I ran to the front door of the school to see if The Man had arrived yet, and as I was walking away, the nurse was saying;

"Ella!  Ella!  Stay with me, Ella!  Stay with me!"

and I was thinking; "STAY WITH ME?!?!?  MY GOD DO WE NEED AN AMBULANCE?!?"

Stay with me.  Sheesh.

Nobody should say "stay with me" unless that person is DYING, okay?  That shit is horrifying to panicky moms.

And so, Ella was loaded into The Man's car, and off the two of them went to the hospital for 3 stitches, and some oo-ing and ah-ing over how cute the nurses thought she was.

In the meantime, I walked home with Jack.

Hi, do you happen to know that one of the common traits of a SPECTRUM kid is a noted lack of APATHY?  Yeah.  That sucks when you feel completely maxed out.

Me:  "that was TERRIBLE!"

Jack:  "Mom, stop being so grouchy."

Me:  "I'm not being grouchy, I'm stressed!"

Jack:  "why are you stressed?"


Jack:  "I don't know!  Tell me!"

Me:  "okay, yeah, good one Jack.  Why am I stressed.  WHAT JUST HAPPENED?"

Jack:  "I don't remember?"

Me:  "UH, your sister got hurt?  Blood everywhere?"

Jack:  "Mom, stop sounding so grouchy."


Jack:  "Okay, mom, okay.  Just try to calm down, because you're really, really, really making me angry."

Then I turned into the hulk.

Then we inhaled a whole lot of McDonalds.

My children will be the death of me.

P.S. Ella's okay today. She's been happily running around--as The Man and I wilt with terror and say "ELLA TAKE IT EASY TODAY", and saying that the doctor's had to "sew her back up."

P.P.S.  I got all that blood out of her shirt.  BOO YAH I AM A ROCKSTAR!  SUCK ON THAT B*TCHES!


  1. WHERE IN THE HELL IS THAT COCKTAIL CART ALL READY?!? Lord in Heaven, did we have fun this last week or what?!? See, if we lived anywhere near each other we could have consoled each other in the ER.

    Thank God my son wasn't home at the time. Not that it would have mattered, mind you but you get the idea. As an example--the baby kicked her highchair back and fell backwards--while still in the chair. Right next to Aspie boy. Without even flinching or looking over he simply asked, "Is she dead?"

  2. Stitches under the chin is like measles or the mumps isn't it? I mean every kid gets those at some point. I think all of the kids in my family did at least, maybe we're just extra clumsy.

  3. lmao to lizbeth's comment. is she dead? ha! it probably was less funny at the time though.
    karen, i'm sorry your girl got her face all busted up. thankfully the man was available to retrieve her & get her face put back together so you & jack could discuss how you were overreacting & grouchy.
    how convenient that you were on school grounds where there was still staff present to assist you in dealing with her bloody mess.
    and go you with the blood removal technique! supermom points for you!

  4. Okay, I know that I should start off by talking about Ella. So, I'm glad that it wasn't serious and that she's alright. So now, that Jack kills me. He reminds me so much of John that it's not even funny. He would have said the same thing.
    Okay, give Ella an extra kiss for me.

  5. ambulance attendance said the "stay with me kayti" THAT IS A FREAK.

    also, maybe my man is on the spectrum....he lacks apathy too....

    poor you, if she is clumsy now, you have a whole life ahead to worry.....yikes, did I say that?

  6. i am thinking he has way too much apathy, and not enough empathy.hope your wee loon feels better,and stops falling off stuff!

  7. holy cow, I never noticed the huge amount of blood on her shirt!!! I would have lost it totally.

    I have theories on clumsy people, I am married to one of the clummsiest people on the face of the earth.

    poor girl is she ok today?

  8. I am so glad she is ok, I would have been scared to death too! E has had a few little accidents that resulted in lots of blood, but luckily no broken bones or stitches...yet.

  9. I would've been freaking out!
    My kid falls a lot too and I'm totally desensitized to it and until this moment never thought about how I probably look to other parents at the playground when my kid wipes out and I tell him to shake it off. In my defense, he falls all the time and he's really good at shaking it off. But your Tuesday would have had me in tears!

  10. Oh no! Poor kiddo! And your daughter too... :)
    Glad you and Ella made it through! Hopefully no more trips to the ER any time soon!

  11. Lizbeth, I hate the ER. That places sucks all the goodness out of EVERYONE.

    Funny about your son--Jack, on the way home, casually asked if his sister might "die."

    I said; "DON'T SAY THAT!!!" then I got to worry some more.

  12. p.s. Lizbeth, I'm glad your girly was okay!

  13. sheesh George--I don't know--I NEVER had stitches until I was in my 30's, and that was a mishap slicing open a squash. I was freakishly cautious though.

  14. yeah, and Sherilin, thank goodness that I had my CELLPHONE with me, and that we all have freaking cell phones now. In the olden days before cells, I'd have had to whip off my shirt to stop the bleeding :)

  15. done and done, Mark, and thank you. Funny that you can relate, with your John, in a non-ha-ha way.

  16. The Man doesn't have a ton of apathy either, Melissa. Like I said, don't say "STAY WITH ME" unless you REALLY, REALLY need to. It's too alarming.

    I was hoping she'd get more and more coordinated as she catches up to her own height???

  17. Thanks Ms,H! Apathy..empathy...potato, potahto...

    it all ads up to not giving a crap >:(

  18. what's your theory, Melissa???

    Yeah, that was an assload of blood. I hate blood too. Makes my knees turn to jelly.

  19. and let's keep it that way, right Paula!?!

  20. Tonya, that episode with my daughter did make a few tears squirt out. JUST A FEW. Ha ha ha @ just shake it off! I'm the SAME way. That's how you cope when you have a clumsy kid.

    Lurv your blog, btw :)

  21. thanks Jessica--that is, until the raging pestilence season kicks into gear. Shudder. Let's hope those ear infection days are behind us...

  22. I for one was relieved by your story, because I thought for an instant that your daughter had become a vampire. Phew! That's a relief. Oh, yes, yes, you are a callous parent, etc., but at least no vampirism in the family. THAT would be AWKWARD.

  23. Yeah Matt! WAY awkward! Imagine walking around with those bloody shirts all the time!

  24. Okay - Jack now cracks me up MORE! Sorry he didn't get you in that moment, but I was cracking up reading that! I would have bitten my lip if he was asking me that - bitten it so hard I bled - go you for keeping your cool. WOW - two feet? ! HOLY COW - I know she's your little angel sometimes but I had no idea she could fly!!!!

  25. yeah Christina...Jack certainly is....something :)

    And Ella? Flat pavement is a danger to that poor girl.


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