a) static (if the kids have played with it)
b) loud obnoxious dj's, talking about sperm WAY too early in the day (yeah, like there's a more suitable time)
c) SUPER LOUD HEART ATTACK ANEURISM OHMYGODWHEREISTHATNOISECOMINGFROM pulse racing music (if the kids have played with it)
d) gentle, classical music to ease your way into the day
Yeah, so nothing out of the norm there. Perhaps the real problem is MY HUSBAND, A.K.A.; THE MAN. He sets that thing for THE STUPIDEST time possible.
When he used to commute to Toronto (ultimate suburban hell, in fact, so hellish, I may do a post on why I H8 Toronto so much sometime), he used to set that thing for 5:30 in the morning. FIVE THIRTY IN THE MORNING.
So what? you say? Yeah, so ask me what time he'd get up. 6:20, or perhaps 6:30.
Yes, he'd hit that snooze alarm for AN HOUR. I wanted to murder him.
I'm not particularly nice in the morning. Actually, I'm a jerk. I'm a total hairy a$$hole in the morning. I hate you, you, and definitely you. I don't care how cute and cuddly you are for the rest of the day. I hate the dark crack of dawn, I hate the filthy feel of my exhaustion, the giant-headed fuzzy fatigue. I need every second of sleep that I can get. Sleep is precious. It keeps me from being psychotic. It keeps me from the hypochondria train; therefore, it keeps me from thinking I have colon cancer, and that's why I'm a little bloaty that day. It keeps me from lying in my bed at 2:00 that afternoon, with the covers over my head whining;
forget it. Why should I do a new blog post? NOBODY CARES ANYWAY. WAAA WAAAA WAAAAA. In fact, why should I do anything? I'm a big failure. I'm just going to stay here all day until I have to get the kids from school. Who cares anyway....waaa waaaa waaa...
So yeah, sleep keeps me perky and bouncy. And if I had to get up at 5:30, I'd be in bed shortly after 9, CAPICHE? Because I NEED SLEEP.
Anyhoo, back to the 5:30 debacle. Alarm would go off. Husband would hit snooze. Husband would fall IMMEDIATELY back to sleep. Actually, he may have even fallen back to sleep as he was hitting the snooze button. I would then lie there in my ugly karen rage listening to him snoring away. Finally, somewhere near the 9 minute mark, I'd start to drift again. Alarm would go off. Snooze button. Husband immediately back to sleep.
and on, and on, and on.
So we'd have this argument:
Me: "WHY ARE YOU SETTING THE ALARM FOR 5:30?!?!? YOU NEVER EVER GET UP AT 5:30!!!!!!"
The Man: "but I want to get up at 5:30."
Me (steamwhistle head action): "BUT YOU NEVER EVER DOOOOOOOOO!"
The Man: "I will."
Me: "THAT'S SO INCONSIDERATE"
The Man.....all done talking to me.
So, now he's started setting the alarm clock again. For 6:30, even though he doesn't need to get up until 7:00. Even though our girly gets up at 6:30 herself every day and has rendered alarm clocks COMPLETELY UNNECESSARY.
Ask me what time he's been getting up:
You can picture me swinging a hatchet, yes!?
Fine, whatever. Actually, I've been so exhausted all week, thanks to the Autumnal-byebye daylight-equinox that I've been sleeping through his clock every morning this past week.
Until today. You know, Saturday?
Me (hissing): "YOU HAD YOUR ALARM SET FOR SATURDAY????"
The Man: "I forgot." Then, approximately 5 seconds later: "ZZZZZZzzzzzzz...."
Oh, I'd better go--Ella wants a turn on the computer, and I have to go throw a clock against the wall.