Figuring out what I wanna be when I grow up.
Oop..I AM grown up...


Saturday, January 14, 2012

Why Does This Bother You?

Okay, I've had it.  I try not to be too political here in blog land, but I do have strong opinions on some things.  Today I'm thinking about TOLERANCE.  Come on, can't we all just be fwends???

There are a lot of people in the world, and we all really do have to live together to a certain extent.  I was going to also ramble on about why we feel a need to laugh at that poor morbidly obese person we see when we're out, or the person who is wearing what you think is an INSANE outfit and about who never did ANYTHING to bother or hurt us, but instead, I'll just focus myself for now.

I want to talk about GAY MARRIAGE.  Only for a minute or two.

This is from Wikipedia:


  On July 20, 2005, Canada became the fourth country in the world and the first country in the Americas to legalize same-sex marriage nationwide with the enactment of the Civil Marriage Act which provided a gender-neutral marriage definition. Court decisions, starting in 2003, each already legalized same-sex marriage in eight out of ten provinces and one of three territories, whose residents comprised about 90% of Canada's population.


BOO YAH, CANADA!

A friend of mine is going through some legal bullshittery right now.  It is convoluted, but one of the issues at hand is how gay marriage, and families therein are viewed in the eyes of the law in the United States.  Imagine:  same country, but there are many states in which same sex unions have been vetoed, or the decision to allow is still pending.

I'm paraphrasing here, but someone had emailed him and said that while he/she does not agree with gay marriage, he/she still hopes everything will work out happily.

I have also had conversations with people who were up in arms about gay marriage.  They were very displeased that it would be allowed at all.  It would RUIN the whole definition of marriage, they insisted.   A marriage is a sacred, and marvelous, and romantic, and infallible institution between a STRAIGHT man, and a STRAIGHT woman.

But they're right.  Marriage is AWESOME.  Only STRAIGHT PEOPLE know how to do it correctly.  Nobody ever gets divorced, right?


Three failed marriages and counting! Marriage is FUN!!  (source)

Marriage is like, super cool awesome!  We were married for 14 whole months!
That's almost an eternity, right?  (source)


Longest  TWO MONTHS of our lives!!! (source)

Okay, so that was easy.

So, what exactly is going to happen when gay people everywhere can finally get married?  Is your marriage going to *POOF !* disappear?  Will you have to tell everyone you had a STRAIGHT marriage, just so they don't get confused?  Are they going to make straight people everywhere nullify their marriages, so gay people can have a turn?  Is your relationship with your partner going to feel "less special" now?  Is your neighbourhood going to be BOMBARDED with tedious gay newlyweds?  Are you going to HAVE to go to GAY WEDDINGS all the damn time now?

(I bet they'd have better music after dinner...)

Are those wedding dress reality shows going to be RUINED now when they feature two men getting married, or two women?

Okay karen, that's enough ideas.

But gay people have always made you uncomfortable.  You've always hated images like this:




You think it's lewd and offensive.  Fine, I can dig that. Maybe these two guys are total TOOLS.  I mean, do you really need to make your point in your underwear?  I'm going to say no, you make a better point and have more credibility nicely attired.

Do you know what really offends me?








Come on girls, get your whipped cream titty gun bras on!






Oh look--they can share!  Good girls!


Things will improve, my gay friends.  It's taken you THIS LONG just to get a toe in the door of rational and compassionate.



As always, my friend, you gots to crank that shit UP!

Give Peace a Chance by John L on Grooveshark

53 comments:

  1. I think it was 2004 that civil partnerships were legalised in the UK. I know some gay friends who couldn't wait for the equality the legislation afforded, and got married immediately, and others who thought it made no difference to them at all because they weren't interested in aping outmoded heterosexual rituals. I am not married and have never wanted to be. But anyone who wants to - fair enough, whether you're gay or straight. It won't give you any guarantee of relationship success, it won't make you a better partner/lover/parent/person. It will give you legal rights. And the opportunity to make that choice should be open to all. That's what I reckon!
    PS. I was a guest at some gay friends' civil partnership (they were in their 50s, been together nearly 30 years, and NEVER thought they would see the day they could marry). My eldest daughter was gutted that she couldn't go and asked who the bride was. I explained that there was no bride as it was 2 men marrying, she thought for a minute, then asked, "So who will be wearing the nice dress?" Hahahaha! xxxx

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    1. Curtise, I love THIS: "outmoded heterosexual rituals."
      You said exactly what I was trying to say, so thank you!

      Funny about the your daughter and the dress though!

      Delete
  2. I think I heard something about a gay couple who wanted to divorce, but , are having issues because their is no legislation for gay marriage divorce. What? Are you kidding? Divorce is divorce, so why do we need new legislation...is thi correct?

    As for the gay pride parades. I am sorry. I think they are gross. I have gay friends. But, I would be aghast, if they paraded around in who knows what.....come on people already are uncomfortable do you really have to compound the problem by looking utterly retarded is some of those outfits?

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    1. yeah, Melissa, I touched on that a bit. Lewd is lewd--straight or gay.

      Yeah, it's like Sarah said a couple comments down--it's MARRIAGE, not gay marriage or straight marriage. So of course there should be DIVORCE. Good point.

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  3. Frankly i could care less about who marries who it doesn't bother me one bit. If two people love each other great.
    Same sex adoption doesn't bother me either ( oh i opened a can of worms didn't I?) I mean there are lots of gay men couples who make better parents than alot of straight people. What bothers me more are these singers looking like sluts being role models for young girls.
    There's my piece!

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    1. thanks Pam. Looks like you and I feel the same way. There are indeed bigger problems i the world, and I agree entirely about the adoption thing too.

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  4. I don't believe in Gay Marriage, I believe in Marriage, for everybody. Except me. I was really really reeeeeally bad at it.

    This is one of those ridiculous (non)issues that our kids are going to be shaking their heads about in 20 years.

    Sarah xxx

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    1. Sarah, that's exactly it--it's MARRIAGE. Two people love each other and want the party and the piece of paper to show for it. Big deal.

      Delete
  5. Karen, you are great. You nailed the strange sexism involved here, in that there are many women who are celebrities for their lewd body display, and "I kissed a girl," stuff like that. I think many people don't know the difference between their conditioned (irrational) reaction and an idea.

    I could tell many stories, but just one here. When Jack died suddenly at an out-of-state retreat, Bob, his life partner of many years was not able to arrange to have the body brought back because they were not related. It was heartbreaking. Fortunately, Jack's son loved them both and worked with Bob. This is about human beings.

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  6. Jeanne, thanks for sharing that story. It's absolutely ludicrous. I hope soon stories like this will disappear with time.

    And oh yeah--I'm ALL OVER that dipstick ding dong bimbo woman image.

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  7. One thing I can completely agree with: I am tired of the 'debate', full of strawman arguments, and shades of grey logic.

    Legalities. Lewdness. Divorce.

    Real items: forgiveness, peace, hurts, love. Much rather focus on these things.

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    1. yeah, like what Jeanne said--this is about human beings.

      Delete
  8. Well, God first, then us kids. But ya.

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    1. At first I was thinking "what does god have to do with this," but then I read Paula's response, so I was all "oooooooooooooh, okay, I get it! Hooray!"

      Slow on the uptake here :)

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  9. well...i think the word tolerance has lost its meaning, tolerance is what you do when you have to spend hours with annoying and stupid uncle bob.this 'tolerance' really means acccept me and approve of me. i can understand why gays would want to get married, but i do think marriage is a religious covenant first, then a legal one. i do think that long term homosexual couples should have all the legal rights as same sex couples,but i think it should be a civil union. i know , why do i care about a word, well because God invented marriage, so i guess by that vane anyone who does not believe in God should get a civil union too.it would be better if the religious ceremony is the marriage but the legal part is civil,so in effect everyone would still have the same rights under the law,so situations of heartbreak like the one mentioned by another reader can be avoided.by the way, i think the gay pride parade just reinforces stereotypes about gay men, and really does nothing for their cause.

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    1. Very thought-provoking, Paula, thank you!

      So the implication therein is that, if there is a god, he/she does not approve of gay people? Well that's a whole n'other can of worms.

      But, you bring up an interesting point that really circles back to the core argument, so that makes for a good think: how do we define "marriage." To that end, however, I say this:

      "Marriage can be recognized by a state, an organization, a religious authority, a tribal group or local community. It is often viewed as a contract. Civil marriage is the legal concept of marriage as a governmental institution irrespective of religious affiliation, in accordance with marriage laws of the jurisdiction."

      I'm not religious, so when I married The Man, for me it was a civil marriage. The Man managed to let the person marrying us sneak in a few verses from the bible, so for him it may have a slightly different meaning.

      I think marriage is for any respectable persons who want to stand together and proclaim their commitment to one another.

      Delete
  10. I have gay friends who have been together for years longer than some of my straight friends and I like them better. Let them get married and be done with it.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Paula makes some really good points...

    Its definitely a volatile issue.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. yes, indeed Ducky. But the entirety of North America is not governed completely by religious entitlement. Still, beliefs and traditions are strong issues with people, so it may well always be a volatile issue!

      Thank you for reading and commenting :)

      Delete
  12. I don't see what the problem is with homosexuals getting married. The two arguments against seem to be either on religious or legal grounds.
    As soon as you give married couples different legal rights from other people then marriage does become a legal thing. I don't see what the problem is giving these rights to gay people.
    If you argue that marriage is a religious thing then what if the gay couple goes to church every Sunday and says their prayers at night? It starts to boil down to who's religion takes precedence. Which is dumb.
    If you're worried that gay people are going to make a mockery of marriage then too late... celebrities have already got that market cornered.
    Oh and yeah... Gay Pride parades are to Gay Rights what having a wicked pot head for your representative is to marijuana legalization.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. excellent points, anonymous. If "marriage" is an entirely religious act, shouldn't one disavow all legal perks that are accrued therein?

      I really liked the point about "what if" gay couples are religious too, believe in god, go to church, etc. I wish I'd come up with that question myself.

      thanks for commenting. Very funny about the pot head as the rep for marijuana, vs the ass-less chaps guy promoting gay rights.

      Delete
  13. I don't happen to have a problem with the guys in their underwear because it's underwear and most of us wear it. I love your points in this post Karen. So true. All of it. I don't think gay marriage will affect my marriage. My marriage is crappy all on its own.

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  14. Ha ha ha! Thanks Sandra--your marriage is crappy all on its own. Wait...why am I laughing at that. I should be making a frowny face and pouring us coffee.

    That underwear photo was the most inoffensive representation of gay-pride-parade-gone-wild that I was willing to post. Better than someone wearing a thong and a gimp mask, methinks :)

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  15. Great post, as always. The only thing that would have made it better would be your face over Kati Perry's.
    Thank you for this. I owe you one. Which kid do you want?
    m.

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  16. all of your kids are adorable. Who could choose? Oh wait--who is least likely to draw on my walls, because my kids have both done that and it sucks a bit.

    Yeah, but if I put my face of ding dong Perry's, could I still make my point as credibly? Damn...that would be funny too. xoxo to you Mark.

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  17. oh damn this new comments system. I keep forgetting to hit reply DIRECTLY to that person I want to reply to! Not that it matters...

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  18. did hear a funny comment on gay marriage, 'why shouldn't they be as miserable as the rest of us'

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    Replies
    1. Paula, I think I heard that too! And not too long ago...now where did I hear that...

      Delete
  19. most homosexuals are not religious simply because all the major religions think that sodomy is a sin.we all sin though so it is really no worse than say,lying or all the other sins out there.so yes, gays can love God, and he loves and forgives no matter what we do, contrary to some peoples opinions, God does NOT hate gays,but it must also be said that he wants us all to turn away from our sins, so someone who is in a gay realtionship is not turning away from that sin.i know everyone hates the word sin , but they are not my words, they are Gods.i also have huge compassion for all the folk that struggle in the tension,this is not an easy road and there are really no pat or easy answers, even if one is religious.

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    1. Oh Paula you sexy, intelligent woman you. I'm not touching this with a ten foot pole, but I will say that we agree to disagree on this one :)

      Delete
    2. who says most homosexuals are not religious? is there a statistic out there that says so? Just curious.

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    3. A lot of gay people I've encountered are church goers.

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  20. Like anything else in life religion can be good and religion can be bad. Whether it is religion getting in the way of good politics or people who are/were persecuted for their religious beliefs.... If in the right hands religion can make people love, be more compassionate and tolerant. If in the wrong hands can make people LESS tolerant, LESS understanding. When was the bible written? Times are WAY different. If everyone followed the bible so faithfully....well.

    I say, Let 'em get married! Who cares? Seriously.

    Or... do what I do! Don't get married(but keep your man till the end of time because he's just so awesome) and keep the name you were born to. Look at the history of marriage. It's not some romantic, beautiful union. It was about selling ownership of your daughter and handing her over to a new family. She had little rights. Was practically a slave. Was allowed to be beaten. Had to start having babies YOUNG. She most likely never saw her family again. Maybe her family was given a cow for her. Maybe she was really sad to leave her family for a man she barely knows. Yeah. Just so precious, no?

    But then again. The legalities are an issue? And times have changed, haven't they? Thank goodness for changing times! Live and let live!

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    1. yes, I too am thankful for changing times and evolving attitudes and opinions.

      Delete
  21. Religion is the most abused institution in the world and the Bible is the most abused text in history. People who are too immature to accept homosexual love blame their immaturity on religion and back it up with scripture. Bless their dumb, fri99in' hearts. Sorry I wrote "fri99in'" on your blog. You can write it on my blog if you want.

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    1. i am not dumb, actually i am a very smart and educated woman,if you do not agree , thats fine but do not be a fri99in meanie about it! p.s. you have cooties....oh sorry must be that immaturity coming out again

      Delete
    2. Fred, I don't care if you wrote "fuckin". I don't write it in the body of my posts because well...it's my favourite word and it's special and I have to save it.

      Well, there you have it. I know you're a god-fearing (appreciating is a better word?) man, so that's the other side of the coin.

      Delete
  22. i generally avoid topics of politics. i vote and i care, but most of the time i don't share.
    i have gay friends whom i love. some who are way more compassionate and generous than most of the straight people i know. some of them are even without a question in my mind, believers in God and Jesus. that being said, the bible does teach against it. it also says that all commands in the bible are equal, so if anyone is telling a lie or gossiping, it's equal to having gay sex. or even straight sex outside of a married relationship.
    as far as i'm concerned, it's not the bible that defines the laws of our countries or many other things would be illegal. we don't live in a christian nation with rules based on biblical principles. therefor, legal marriage shouldn't be made to subscribe to biblical standards either.

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    1. Sherilinnie, you and Paula both mentioned the bible and its teachings. It's good this is brought up, because it helps me under stand why on earth there are still so many people in the U.S. who represent those States that oppose marriage for everyone.

      But I agree, it's not religion that should define our laws. Marriage is not a word created in the Bible.

      Delete
    2. Hey, Karen. Sounds like you may not have read this before, so I just looked up the creation/plan for marrariage from the Bible for you:

      2 Some Pharisees came and tried to trap him with this question: “Should a man be allowed to divorce his wife?”

      3 Jesus answered them with a question: “What did Moses say in the law about divorce?”

      4 “Well, he permitted it,” they replied. “He said a man can give his wife a written notice of divorce and send her away.”[a]

      5 But Jesus responded, “He wrote this commandment only as a concession to your hard hearts. 6 But ‘God made them male and female’[b] from the beginning of creation. 7 ‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife,[c] 8 and the two are united into one.’[d] Since they are no longer two but one, 9 let no one split apart what God has joined together.”

      10 Later, when he was alone with his disciples in the house, they brought up the subject again. 11 He told them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery against her. 12 And if a woman divorces her husband and marries someone else, she commits adultery.”

      Delete
    3. Sorry, the reference did not copy. My bad. The passage is in Mark chapter ten. There is a parallel recap of the conversation in the book of Matthew. And Jesus was quoting from Genesis Chapter 1, verse 27 and Chapter 5, verse 2.

      This all is not meant to be a counterargument against Sherilin's comments - just saying that the Bible does indeed set out marriage as a concept.

      Delete
    4. Thanks Matt. yes, sure--I know marriage is mentioned extensively in the bible, and certainly it's an important entity in its own right.

      There was an argument earlier that the word "marriage" should not be allowed for gays, because marriage is a covenant, as outlined in the bible, or by God. So, Paula had said that it should not be called "marriage" if 2 gay people are joined together because it is then not marriage in the eyes of God, but a civil union.

      So, what I say to that, in reference to the ownership of the word, specifically, it is not a biblical word, as it came into origin between 1200 and 1300. It's a middle English word. I had read online that it did not become a sacrament until the Catholics made it so, but that's all debatable.

      Your (my guess) view on marriage would be based on the bible's interpretations, which for you is the irrefutable word of god. I'm looking at the word specifically from a psuedo-lawyer-ish view, to answer the question: who owns the word marriage? Because I've had this discussion with other people too.

      In the 1600's, the bible was translated into what we now know as the popular "king James" version. But that is the point: it was "translated." One could argue that the bible is actually the best selling moral handbook of ALL TIME, as only faith impels us to believe that it truly is the word of a superior, supreme being, and that all translations and interpretations to ANY new edition would be sound "perfect," as anyone writing it would clearly be "the hand of God".

      This may get a boot to the face of the person clacking this out on the computer, but times change and times evolve, and perceptions evolve too. This is why we don't bring black people from Africa any longer (en masse) as our slaves, with the justification that they are lesser peoples.

      And can you tell I just had a HUGE coffee?!?!

      Delete
    5. funny. of course the English word would only date back that far. Any word is only as old as the language. But languages DO come from older languages, yet the concept does not change (e.g. the word tree, or sea, or sun). If you believe that the various parchments/scrolls that English bibles are translated from are simply man-made collections of moral lessons, then re-define all you want. Those were written by a large group of people from various backgrounds over thousands of years, yet have a cohesive story thread, talking about the unfolding of God's plan to rescue humanity. A cynic would way I see what I want to see - yet I deliberately test it every day (you know me, I question everything!). What I do not see, is anything of substance to a 'make-you-own-morality' based on whatever sub-group feels works best for the moment. Which, by the way, is what caused the cruelty of African slavery in the first place. Shifting sands: the best man can come up with from one generation to the next.

      Delete
    6. By the way, no boots in the face. Just admiration that you have thought this through and go deep-deep-deep!

      Delete
    7. yes! Well, it's a good, thought-provoking subject, which I enjoy. I challenge myself too, not to just conclude I'M RIGHT and nobody else is. When I ask a question like "why does this bother you," I truly am curious and want to know. It's interesting how people think and feel, and what we hold sacred in our hearts.

      Delete
    8. Now is the time I buy you another coffee. Especially after your latest blog entry about bloating, ailments, messages from mom, and yoga pants.

      Delete
  23. Well said my friend! All my gay friends have better, more committed relationships than all the straight people combined. Ok, maybe an exaggeration, but their bonds somehow always seem stronger to me... I am not going to respond how I really feel when it comes to this topic and Christianity. I love my gay friends. They make FIERCE lovers, parents, and companions.

    Ok, so, hey, now to respond to your comments! Yes, Instagram is for i devices. So go get your iphone, even if you don't need it, just to join in on my fun!!! haha. About my video camera, I took that footage with a real video camera, not my phone, in HD. It is a Samsung I think, and technically it is my daughter's camera, but I steal it! I used imovie, yes, I am a mac tard, and that is what I edited in. It was very easy and great fun! I don't know any non mac software, so I can't help there.

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    1. loved the movie Daniele, it was awesome! Alas, I have no i products, nor do I have an iphone. I have major instagram envy.

      Ah well.

      Yeah, I'm becoming horribly redundant now as I just keep saying; 'marriage for EVERYONE!'

      Thanks for weighing in.

      Delete
  24. What I've learned from all this is that we can't changed minds when it comes to religion But, hopefully the Western World will make laws that effect human rights free from religion, as we see how people in other parts of the world live where religion very much effects human rights.

    And is it "effects" or "affects" because I'm ZIPPING with caffeine!!!!

    ReplyDelete

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