Figuring out what I wanna be when I grow up.
Oop..I AM grown up...


Thursday, February 16, 2012

Giving You What You Need Since 2009

Did I start blogging in 2009...

Anyhoo...

So!  I check my stats all the time; you know, so I can see how many people on any given day have read my blog?  Turns out you guys are starting to steer clear of ACIDIC PMS POSTS, and that is a real shame because there is some serious comedic gold in some of those posts.

Maybe I'll just have to come up with more clever titles.

Anyhow, you people are good to me.  You say nice things like "karen you're not fat," or "karen you're a total hypochondriac," or "karen you're a NUT" and I lurv that about you.  You're all so EMBRACING.

And sometimes, when I'm particularly ridiculous, you guys request stuff you want me to talk about.  Melissa wants me to talk more about my neurotic cats, Matt wants me to reminisce about elementary school playground games, Mark wants me to read Dr. Seuss in a really sexay voice, and some of you want me to show up and finally do something with the blog awards you bequeathed upon me months and months ago.

Getting to it my friends, I'm getting to it.

But then, there are the subtle ones, the quiet ones--the unseen, unheard masses who apparently find my blog EVERY FREAKING DAY looking for one special thing.  Yes, when I check out my stats, and I go to that magical sub-section that tells me the keywords that lead people STRAIGHT TO ME, I see those two special words all the time.  ALL THE FREAKING TIME.

And I feel like I've been letting you down.  I've been disappointing you.  I've been failing, because once you get here, you soon realise, I don't deliver the goods.

This makes me very sad, because--PEOPLE?   I live to serve.



So, here it is, you nameless freaks!  Here, is what you've really been desiring.  What you've been waiting for:


"HAIRY LEGS"


source


source

source


source


source


source


source


holy shit.


source



There.

Are you happy now!?!

ARE YOU???


Like I said:  I live to serve.

31 comments:

  1. where do I find these key words? Some Dutch people were looking for "sexy body shots" and found me, bet they were disappointed

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. well Miss Simmonds...when you go to your dashboard, and click on STATS...erm..think karen, think...oh right, while on the "overview" page, you can see where it says "Traffic Sources" and beside that you can click on the word "More". Then you can scroll all the way to the bottom and see "Search keywords." You can do this either for the day, week, month or all time.

      And I bet they were NOT disappointed! Rowr!

      Delete
  2. Hairy legs? Have you written about hairy legs?
    Those stats are hilarious. Mine has "exhibitionist wife stories", "man in drag" (do they mean me?) and "Whitney Housten in ball gown with perm". I don't recall doing a post about any of those... But maybe I will.
    I have very hairy legs at the moment, I like to think of it as my winter pelt, it'll come off in Spring. In case your readers are interested, and OF COURSE they are. It says so in the stats.
    Requests, huh?
    More thrift store goodies and outfit posts, please. And more videos. About anything you damn well like. Cos you is funny lady. xxxxxxxxxx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Curtise, I did a post called Monday Gobbledegook, which happens to be on the sidebar of "favourite posts" right now, and it has a link to another post, both of which share a picture of a girl with extremely hairy legs. Apparently what people really want in life are "very hairy boy legs." Or hairy boys in general...

      Or poodles. Freaking poodles. Someone googles poodles CONSTANTLY and finds my blog.

      Your winter pelt! Wonderful!

      Oh, I'm onto your requests like hair on legs.

      that was a terrible joke, wasn't it.

      Delete
  3. Hehehe. Looks like my legs.. in the winter. I call them my Winter Pants! Keeps me warm......

    okay, okay... I admit.... it's not the warmth I'm after... I'm just lazy.

    love,
    aimee

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. WINTER PANTS LOLZ!!! Ha, you call them winter pants, and Curtise there above you calls it her winter PELT. You two are hilarious.

      My legs are only mildly scratchy. I still shave them during winter for the most part. Except when I have PMS. They make my F*CK OFF SHIELD complete.

      Delete
  4. lol! you clearly aim to please with all those scary hairy pics! i'm especially partial to the one with one leg hairy and one leg smooth. i can't even tell if it's a man or a woman!
    my most frequent search terms are "demi moore naked" and "togas". i can't satisfy anyone on the demi moore part because i just don't do naked in my bloggy world, but togas ~ oh yeah, i has them.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. those are nice searches Sherilinnie. I keep getting pervos looking for really hairy boys.

      And I'm tired of it.

      I'm also tired of penile enlargement emails in my junk folder. That and messages from "Terry Wet-Wet".

      Super tired of HER.

      Delete
  5. Can you do a post on hairy backs? I'm dying to see me some hairy back.

    Gawd, that sounds all kinds of wrong.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. well Lizbeth, if it's your thing, I will be forced to comply! Hee hee hee!

      Delete
  6. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. HM...I'll have to finagle a way to make a search just such as that lead to my blog.

      Delete
  7. What the HELL is that muff on Alec Baldwin's chest? Jeebus, it's like he's got a dead monkey stuck on there! *shudder* And all those pics of hairy legs? I soooooo got that beat. Those folks are amatuers. Truly, though, if i told you my daily search engine results, it'd make your hair curl. Like A.B.'s chest hair.

    ReplyDelete
  8. My two favourite searches that led people to my blog are 'ancient vibrator' and 'actions speak louder than wombats'.

    I would like to see... more of Jack's art, more of your fabulous makover tutorials and more chocolate chip loaf videos. Oh yeah.

    Sarah xxx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. actions speak louder than wombats?!? It's like a secret code for something...

      Alright Sarah--your wish is my command!

      Delete
    2. actions speak louder than wombats?! that's awesome!

      Delete
    3. that IS awesome. It should be on a t-shirt I think. You know, there are a lot of things that should be on t-shirts.

      Delete
  9. A lot of poor, struggling PMS-ers find my blog too. Those poor, hairy legged, angry, hormonal, lost souls.

    But the hairy leg pervs? Well, they have this post.

    Yeah, Alec Baldwin was both shocking and...compelling...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Leanne, the reply above was meant for you, but Blogger stuck it RIGHT HERE. I would enjoy your search terms I'll bet.

      Delete
  10. Is that Alec Baldwin?? Oh no you di'int!!!

    I don't need to come to your blog to see hairy legs, I just need to lift up my skirt. I come to your blog for the acidic PMS posts.

    ReplyDelete
  11. yeah, it's Alec, but the man carpet is strangely compelling, no? I mean, at first it's shocking but then after a while, it knocks on the door of your uterus, right?

    Good! That's ONE vote for more PMS rant goodness! Thank you Grace.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I'm feeling satisfied!!!
    Ya!
    Sarah introduced me to you whilst I was at hers, and THAT is satisfying indeed!
    XXX

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm glad you're SATISFIED, Ms. Helga. I'm also glad you're here because, having seen your blog, and you on Sarah's blog you are so much damn stylish fun!

      Is it because of you or Sarah that I've had the word FABULARSEHOLE rolling through my brain for DAYS???

      Delete
  13. FINALLLY!!!!!!! THANK YOU!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Oh dear. Body hair freaks me out badly.

    But hairy legs as a search term isn't too terribly bad. I can't even say the three that lead peeps to my blog on a daily basis. Lesson learned? Be careful with tags.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. actually Vesta, it's not just "hairy legs". No. It's "hairy boy legs," or "VERY hairy boy legs," or "hairy boys." And it's all the time. Also, someone is always searching for a picture of a poodle.

      Go figure.

      Delete
  15. You promised you wouldn't post that picture of me in my pretty red shoes! How could you? That nightgown picture I promised to send you...you can forget it!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL!!! I know, but you looked smokin hot in those red shoes. I had to share it with the world.

      Delete
  16. I love your everything.

    You always crack me up.

    ReplyDelete
  17. thanks Sue. Did ya like Alec Baldwin, you 30 Rock loving gal you?

    ReplyDelete

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