So! I check my stats all the time; you know, so I can see how many people on any given day have read my blog? Turns out you guys are starting to steer clear of ACIDIC PMS POSTS, and that is a real shame because there is some serious comedic gold in some of those posts.
Maybe I'll just have to come up with more clever titles.
Anyhow, you people are good to me. You say nice things like "karen you're not fat," or "karen you're a total hypochondriac," or "karen you're a NUT" and I lurv that about you. You're all so EMBRACING.
And sometimes, when I'm particularly ridiculous, you guys request stuff you want me to talk about. Melissa wants me to talk more about my neurotic cats, Matt wants me to reminisce about elementary school playground games, Mark wants me to read Dr. Seuss in a really sexay voice, and some of you want me to show up and finally do something with the blog awards you bequeathed upon me months and months ago.
Getting to it my friends, I'm getting to it.
But then, there are the subtle ones, the quiet ones--the unseen, unheard masses who apparently find my blog EVERY FREAKING DAY looking for one special thing. Yes, when I check out my stats, and I go to that magical sub-section that tells me the keywords that lead people STRAIGHT TO ME, I see those two special words all the time. ALL THE FREAKING TIME.
And I feel like I've been letting you down. I've been disappointing you. I've been failing, because once you get here, you soon realise, I don't deliver the goods.
This makes me very sad, because--PEOPLE? I live to serve.
So, here it is, you nameless freaks! Here, is what you've really been desiring. What you've been waiting for:
Are you happy now!?!
Like I said: I live to serve.