Figuring out what I wanna be when I grow up.
Oop..I AM grown up...


Tuesday, February 21, 2012

What Was It Like?

My dad has been doing a lot of geneology stuff lately. Tracing one's family is like trying to locate and then piece together an enormous jigsaw puzzle.

In particular, I am captivated by this woman:


I wish I knew what year this picture was taken. 


This is Harriet Cecilia, known as Cecilia to her family, born December 1886 in Hackney, London.  She is my paternal great grandmother.   I never knew her because she died in 1915 of "Pulmonary Tuberculosis," at the age of 29 years, 11 months.

I knew this woman:


This is my grandfather's second wife.  I was very young when I knew her, and she seemed impossibly old, deaf, and utterly frightening, as the very old seem to the very young.

As for Harriet Cecilia, she came to Canada in 1908 and was married on July 1st of that year to my great grandfather (who came to Canada from Wales in 1907).  Her sister married my great grandfather's brother:





What was it like to get on board a ship and leave your country behind?  What was it like to come to a new country?  Were she and my great grandfather very much in love?  What was daily life like for her here in Canada?  Did she find the Canadian winters appalling?  Chances are she had to make all of her children's clothing herself, and chances are she had to work very hard to take care of her 4 children without all the modern conveniences we have now.

I love this picture:


my grandfather--on the right--must be about 4 in this picture.  Their baby sister,
Cecilia was born in 1914, so my great grandmother is either pregnant in this
photo, or maybe the baby's inside sleeping???

 Here is the back of the photo:




A man was coming round with a donkey to take pictures, and little Gladys was scared, so her mother had to come around to be near her.

1914.  Just imagine:  there were no telephone bills, cell phone bills, computers, televisions.  Would your house have electricity yet?  Indoor plumbing boomed after World War 1 in 1918.

What did everyone do for fun?  What kind of meals did Cecilia make each week?  What were family favourites?  Did she love gardening as I do?  What were her favourite flowers?

I would love to step back in time, if only for a day, to meet her and ask her a million questions.





This is the last picture taken of my great grandmother, with her husband and children.  Some of you will remember this photo from THIS POST.  Cecilia has tuberculosis.  It is mere months before she passes.  The whole family knows that she is dying.  I find this picture dark, and poignant, and terrible, and beautiful.

After she died, my great grandfather was so distraught he tried to throw himself down the stairs, but was stopped by his sons.

I know now that Cecilia died in the Muskoka Sanitorium for Tuberculosis, which was the first free tuberculosis hospital in the world, and the initial, smaller site was the first TB hospital in Canada.



What would it be like to arrive here:


source
(There is an interesting gallery of historical pictures for the hospital HERE. )

knowing that this is the last place you would ever see.  Knowing that you would never see your home again, and there would be no more opportunities for travelling photographers with donkeys to take your picture?


I can't even imagine.

Can you?




42 comments:

  1. Hey, who knew you had some "depth" to you?
    Loved this post!
    m.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ha ha Mark. ACTUALLY, I have so much depth, that I must cover it with RIDICULOUSNESS because the world is NOT ready for it! Hee hee hee...

      Delete
  2. I can't imagine going there, never to return. I have often wondered what it would be like to go back 100 years. No TV, WalMarts or Air-con to say the least. I may have died within 30 days but it would have been worth it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. it would really be something, wouldn't it, Lizbeth??? Walking everywhere or taking the train...diseases, no good dentistry...
      it's fascinating.

      Delete
  3. whenever i see old pictures like these, the sadness in most of their faces always grabs me. were they really sad or just opposed to smiling for pictures? did the kids giggle up a storm all day or were they somber because life was hard and there wasn't a lot of time for play. did people used to live so differently that they weren't always on the quest to make themselves happy like they are now?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. exactly Sherilin--Melissa is saying the same idea below you here and I'll get to that, but I completely think everyone was so busy they didn't have time for all the moping and yearning and malcontentedness that we (I) have now.

      Delete
  4. It's utterly terrifying to think that's the last place you'd see. This song is giving me some kind if past life flashback, although I'm not sure I believe in such things, it's just so atmospheric. On a lighter note, turns out you're part cockney!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. yeah, and part Welsh! Ha, Miss Simmonds, I hadn't though of the cockney part. That's interesting.

      Yeah, that was a popular song around that time, and coupling it with the potential sadness and great emotional hardships of the era gave it a whole different feel as a "top hit" of the day.

      And yes, I get the heebiejeebies thinking of heading up to that sanitorium.

      Delete
    2. blimey, I'm a bit Welsh too. There's a website somewhere that'll show you surname distribution in the UK to give you and idea of where yours comes from. Might be interesting, people often moved to the East End rather than being from there. Who knows what you'll find! x

      Delete
    3. oh yes--my dad's been doing lots of surname research and tracing ancestors and such. It's pretty interesting.

      Delete
  5. This whole era has fasinated me for years. I have read some auto-biography's...Life was hard. Unless you were aristrocratic. I don't think they had the notion of leisure/playtime, entertainment as we do.

    I believe you were taught and just knew that this was the way things were. WORK. my Friend WORK. Life revolved around the seasons and the farm. Unless you were in the city.

    That is why celebrations like weddings, socials, and harvest, Christmas were such a big deal.

    I recall a auto biography I read about a young farmer and his wife. They rented land and a house in sask...she was from some uppity place in Ontario and he was not a farmer. but, they had to learn and FAST> Their pleasure was the time after dinner and chores were done. And then if the weather of chores could allow it they visited with friends at Christmas and New Years which involved and over night stay.

    Those moments were CHERISHED and LOOKED FORWARD to. They liked their life...they had huge satisfaction from the work with their hands.

    Maybe that is why we all hungry to fulfill our DREAMS...or entertain ourselves. We are always looking for satisfaction in something because we have lost being able to work with our hands and accomplish something. If people worked more for the basics we would be bone tired and not have an inch of energy to get into half as much trouble. Or be bored.

    I think, in photos they did not know to smile and put on a happy face.....it was life. I don't think people were dour or sad or fed up with life....it is just the way it was.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Melissa, you have made such wonderful points. Also, thanks for the fun anecdotes. I agree--the more we are shut in from people doing our non-physical tasks, the more open to depression and mental malaise we are. We all know how much better we feel when we're out in the garden all day digging and working hard, or doing something that makes a physical difference.

      Delete
  6. Oh and Sherilin I think finding happiness, and living your dream, is a bunch of hogwash. I mean that has only really arisen in the last decade or so...I mean it did start with living the American Dream in the 40's after the war. And that was all marketing to buy product.

    But to where it has escalated now? pfft. Come on, the thinking of "living your dream" is so convoluted that we have all become dissatisfied, loser lumps....because if we don't what else do we have?

    I mean, Even 10-15 years ago....it was not an all out QUEST to BECOME FAMOUS, TO BE SOMEONE SPECIAL. We have become completely saturated with this nonsense that nobody can see straight.

    I am so tired of those dumb contest reality shows and parents and friends telling loser singers they can make it......go get a job. Do a good job. Make yourself happy with the small things of accomplishment.....we don't need another singer/tightrope walker/ sword swallower......sorry I just climed on my soap box and stole the show.......sorry Karen.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm completely tired of those shows too. Is star obsession/celebrity obsession more of an American thing? Most of the reality shows on tv lead me to believe this is so.

      I love this: "go get a job. Do a good job. Make yourself happy with the small things of accomplishment."

      That is excellent, wise advice. Something we all should try to live by a little bit more.

      and please, never worry that you might be in the comments section too much. It's more fun then, and I'd never ever care.

      Delete
    2. i agree. the quest for happiness is almost a sure way to NOT find it. if you're busy working and doing the right things and taking care of the people you love, you're going to be content and satisfied. i'll take those over fleeting giddiness and temporary happy any day.
      when i hear parents say that they just want their kids to be happy, it makes me kind of sad. i mean, i'd hate for my child to be forever a sad person, but truly, my hopes for her are so much bigger and deeper than just a generic stamp of "happy." i'd rather she be a good person. the happy comes with that.
      much like "being in love." it's usually not something that can be maintained forever. it's not about a feeling of infatuation with your partner, because relationships that are solid and long lasting just don't work that way. but making the choice to love your partner who you chose intentionally and with your eyes open is a recipe for a pleasant, content life of mutual respect. if you're always looking for that intense feeling, you're going to spend most of your life disappointed.

      Delete
    3. it's all state of mind, and viewpoint isn't it, Sherilinnie?!

      Good points. We all are obsessed with obtaining LOVE and HAPPINESS

      Delete
  7. What a wonderful post. Seriously. I love it. So poignant and ethereal.

    You're an amazing woman with an amazing family. I love those photos.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Sue :) I love the photos too--I wish I had a whole pile more!

      Delete
  8. This is lovely, Karen. My cousin Joan Miller is a genealogist and blogger. www.luxegen.com. The stuff she has found out is wild. My great great grandfather was a stop on the underground railroad up to Canada. Check her out if you get a chance. I find it so interesting to glance back, see what's in the blood!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. that's really cool Leanne! There is a church here in town that is a stop on the underground railroad. I've been meaning to post about it for over a year :)

      Delete
  9. Ah your dad got alot of the great photos. I remember great grandpa so well.
    His first wife liked fine things and had beautiful furniture. The new wife got rid of everything including his dog. She was not nice. I have a beautiful photo of baby Gladys. I also have one of great grandpa and his dog. When his wife was dying she told Simeon to go back to England and marry her girlfriend. Unfortunately he met the old spinister on the boat and she told him about all the money she had lol so he married her instead.! My dad told me all the stories. Great grandpa used to go off to Chicago as well to have "fun" with the boys!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pam, I just remember great grandma and grandpa looking very very old, sitting together on their couch in their dim, brown living room. My brother and I sat quietly together while the grownups chatted and we just waited till that magical moment when it was time to come home. Isn't that sad???

      Yeah, those are some interesting stories. I'd love to go back in time.

      Delete
  10. Oh, and a few more thought just because you are not sick of me yet.
    Death. Death was a part of life. Death was more accepted. Not that they would have welcomed it.
    It was before penicillin. It was before steroids,insulin etc.
    A guy having a tractor accident was more likely to be dead. Simply because of travel. People did not know about CPR, Heimlich Maneuver Germs...etc. Doctors were not as close, and neither did they have ambulances.

    Just after WW1 the Spanish Flu strode in full of vim and vigor and killed thousands upon thousands.

    Knowing you were leaving a family behind would be no more different today. The pain and grief would be the same.

    But I am sure it was assumed by the wife, that he would take on another wife. He would have to. Work was to be done and somebody would have to take care of the household and children.

    Death was apart of life, and I think more people understood that. People live way longer now and our medical advances make it possible for us to expect long life. I am not so sure death, and serious illness would have been such a surprise. Especially since TB or Consumption, and they would have called it was so rampant.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. yes Melissa, you're right: Death was much more a part of life. That's why people had the death room right in their own home. They gave birth in their homes, and they displayed the dead in their homes, and sometimes they dressed the dearly departed up in their Sunday best and posed them with the rest of the family and took a picture.

      Yes, my great grandmother did urge great grandpa to go find another wife. She knew she was done for. He was very upset when she died though--very distraught. That seems to lend it a bit of a romantic feel.

      Yes--the deaths per thousand at the time for TB were unbelievable.

      Delete
  11. Awesome pix,and fascinating times.I'd love to know what they were thinking.....X

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thanks Helga! Me too--I would love to know what was going on. It would be so neat to really be in their lives if only for a day or two.

      Delete
  12. This makes me want to find out what my Grandma's favourite flowers are. I think I know, but do I? It seems more important to know now. This is a good reminder.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. you know dbs, we should all know what the favourite flowers of our women are. I don't know why, but it seems important.

      Delete
  13. Your ancestors seem very pretty. I would find genealogy very interesting too-if my grandparents hadn't lived in the same village nearly all their life, and their parents, and the parents before them.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. but the stories behind are what make it interesting! And old photos! Looooove old photos....

      Delete
  14. The photos are wonderful, Karen, as is the personal history which goes with it. Every family has its stories and dramas and tragedies and achievements, but they are so easily lost. My mum is forever talking about the past, which often annoys me (heard it all before, a lot!) but if I don't listen and remember, all those stories and memories are gone, within a generation, which is so sad.
    So you're a little bit Cockney sparrow and a little bit Welsh windbag (I'm allowed to say that as my Other Half's Welsh!) xxx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. WELSH WINDBAG! LOVE IT! Oh Curtise, you are hilarious. You'd disappeared for a few days too, I noticed.

      Anyhoo, sometimes the past is more palatable when it has NOTHING to do immediately with us...like say, when it's a great grandparent's past :)

      Delete
  15. Great story Karen. We have a bunch of old photos of my mother's ancestors, one especially is fun to look at, we think she was a Victorian gentleman pleaser back then. I can't even imagine how hard life was back then. There is a story that my Grandmother used to love to tell us about her husband's mother, she thought that a couple had to have sex twice in one night to get twins. Hehehehe, so much they did not know, maybe they were the lucky ones. Yes life was much harder for them, but I also think it might have been happier without all of the distractions we have now. More time with family and friends. Thanks for your comment, as for the meds, I really don't take much of anything, but at least she could have told me to put heat/or ice on my back, I got nothing from her or an ounce of sympathy. She was a different person whom I normally visit when at this particular Dr.'s office and I will make sure not to have her again. Yes, she did make me feel like I was only there for meds and I didn't even ask for any. The other kicker is that my sister-in-law is the head nurse there. Oh, I will definitely let her know how happy I was, and if I can't see someone next time I go, I will have no problem switching Dr.s. Another thing that pissed me off was that she was so concerned about my ear drainage, which if she had read my file she would have known I have a history of ear surgeries. I am feeling better, still coughing and my back only aches, for which I will see the Chiropractor for today and back to work on Friday. Have a great week, the kids are home on winter break and then the Mr. leaves for Texas to work for a week.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Alaina, that sucks about your doctor. I hope I didn't sound like a smug dick head when I wrote what I did. I was just thinking about doctors who STILL don't give a shit but hand out meds before anything else. Sounds like you've been having a lousy time of it.

      Just scratch out my comment and take this new one: I'm sorry you've been feeling so lousy! I've had some dandy bugs thanks to the kids too and they are no picnic.

      As for the info of your past--a Victorian gentleman pleaser! Now THAT'S a career! You should post some old photos sometime too--the dresses were so beautiful in those older times.

      Delete
  16. Oh Karen I love this post!

    I have an aunt that, for the past several years, has gone through ancient family photos and chooses one to copy and frame for everyone as a holiday gift. It's the most awesome Christmas present I get!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ooooooo Vesta! That IS an awesome present! See, we're not SO materialistic in our generation, are we!?

      Delete
  17. beautiful photos karen, and thanks for making me cry![again]

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. yeah, because Paula you were HERE when I first posted that photo! SNIFF!

      Delete
  18. Karen, no I did not take offense with what you said, you are right about not taking meds. I am lucky if I have Tylenol in our cabinet. When the kids get sick we usually have to get something that day and I am one for saying cough it out. That is kind of why I was upset with the Dr. I saw, if she read my record she would have seen that I come for my physical and that is it, once a year. I do know that there are Dr.s out there that will prescribe meds for the littlest thing and I think that is why many kids get sick, they have built up no tolerance.
    Anyway, I am feeling much better thanks. As for your basement, if I recall you have ants, yuck.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. yeah, well then Alaina, that EXTRA SUCKS. Doctors can really stink sometimes. I'm glad you're feeling better.

      Well, I don't know the ant situation in my basement-they were all in the kitchen and pantry. Shudder. We have to spray every year.

      Ah well, such is life in an older house.

      Delete
  19. This is one of those weird posts that I think about clicking away from, and then I read the whole thing before I know it. Well done. Quite dramatic.

    Sorry to make you think I was gone. You sleep with a guy. We can go without speaking for ten days, and it's only because we're happy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. one of those weird posts you feel like clicking away from. Damn Fred, I feel like I should be offended, but I'm just so FREAKING TICKLED.

      Ah well, good...I guess.

      Oh yes, I'm well aware of the ways of men. Maybe more than you could imagine. I'm a remarkable woman.

      Delete

I lurv comments. Thank you for the comments. They are scrumptious.

LinkWithin

Related Posts with Thumbnails