Figuring out what I wanna be when I grow up.
Oop..I AM grown up...

Friday, March 16, 2012


Holy crap.

I am so far behind on these cute little memes y'all love to do.  In fact, it's quite shameful.  I mean, you guys bestow a much undeserved award upon me, and like the dirtbag that I am, it takes me eons to get around to it.

My bad.

So, what you don't know is just how bad I am at getting around to stuff.  Well, I'll tell you--I'm FOUR BLOG AWARDS BAD, that's how bad I am!  Hooray!

So, I'm going to make this one great big SMORGASBORD BLOG AWARD MEME POST!  And then I'm going to do whatever the f*ck I want.  Screw you, meme RULES.  And I'm going to put my TROPHIES right there on my sidebar BOO YAH.

Because that's how I roll.

Okay, bizness stuff first, fun(ish) stuff next:

I got this lovely award from Wombat Central at Postcards From Oblivion:

 She can ride a unicycle!!!  Thank you, Ms. Wombat.  I'm not even sure if I remember how to ride a bike.

This shiny one is from "Sadie" at Sadie Sez

that's right. I'm everyone's friend. Suck it.

 I like Sadie.  She's funny as hell, but she does NOT post often enough!  Thank you for the award, woman.

JD Racecar over at It's Always FUNNY In Columbubble giveth me this:

Damn it, I'm nothing if not versatile.  TESTIFY!

Thanks JD!  She's a super nice chick, and she just had an adorable baby girl fairly  recently, so stop on by and visit her and tell her that it won't always be this freaking hard.

Last, but certainly not least..and actually fairly recently--see how I just redeemed myself--Lizbeth, my homegirl at Four Sea Stars gave me this little buddy:

karen is kreativ?

Thanks Lizbeth.  Go check Lizbeth out!  Lizbeth blogs about her trials, triumphs, and hair-pulling good times of raising 3 kids, one of whom has Aspergers.  So, between our two sons, we have a ton of "OH MY GOD, I'VE LIVED NEARLY THAT EXACT SAME THING" moments, which is really comforting.  Plus, Lizbeth also thinks MINI EGGS are EDIBLE CRACK, so--you know: simpatico.

Okay!  So, for most of these awards, I'm supposed to reveal crap about myself.  You're supposed to pretend you're interested, and them I'm supposed to pass this on to like 50 other people or something.

Except for the Liebster award.  I'm just supposed to bask in the love of fellow writers with that one, and pass the love on to someone else.  See?  Whoever came up with THAT one saw the beauty in simplicity.

So what haven't I already told you:

1. I remember a stupid, useless detail about everyone I've known and actually remember from my childhood.  It freaks people out sometimes.  This guy who was my boyfriend for 2 weeks, when I was in grade 8, actually UN-FRIENDED ME on facebook after I reminded him that he used to carry this giant hairbrush around in his back pocket.

Personally?  I thought I was being nice. I could have told him that one of the main reasons I only let him kiss me on the cheek was because he used to wear braces and had a constant thick spit string from top brace to bottom brace.  Suck on that, Cory.

2.  I'm delighted if the socks TOTALLY match the shirt.  Relax:  it doesn't happen often.

3. When I got to grade 9, I nearly keeled over from the excitement of thinking almost every guy in highschool was hot.  Thus began 4 years of rabid boy craziness, and mooning over senior football boys.

4. If you ever pull up your sweater sleeve with your teeth in my presence, I will un-friend you.

5.  I can sing shockingly loud.

6. I'm so terrified of spiders, that if I were single, I do not know what the hell I would do.

7. Ella just walked up and conversationally told me:  "Mom, I have a lot of farts today. And my legs hurt."  I don't know what to do with this.  I never do.

8. Words that get butchered on a regular basis DRIVE ME BAT SHIT:

for example,

* mascarpone cheese is mas CAR PO nay , not MARscapone cheese.  That drives me f*cking insane.

* we all know about NUCLEAR vs NUCULER.

* Prostate cancer is never prosTRATE cancer.

* we don't get books from the LIBERRY.

* never AXE me a question

* Your and You're.  Learn it.

9.  I also hate stupid, generic, dough-headed business type expressions like "PUSHING THE ENVELOPE", "thinking OUTSIDE THE BOX," and I really, really, really detest ONE HUNDRED AND TEN PERCENT.  I feel like strangling when that happens

10. If, when I try to leave a comment on your blog, you have word verification, it makes me feel sad and defeated.  It's one of the newest, most annoying things in the world.  Seriously everyone--I don't have word verification for my comments' section, and I have not been BOMBARDED, NAY--OVERWHELMED by spam comments.  Please consider getting rid of it.  It makes trying to leave a comment suck major ass sometimes.

11.  This wasn't supposed to turn into a complaints segment

12. I actually hate all forms of exercise other than walking

13. thirteen is my lucky number, but I never ever ever ever ever win anything.

Okay!  That was a nice bit of fluff, don't you think?  And now, to spread joy:

I'm going to pick 4 amigos out of my hat to bestow awards on.  You can choose which award suits you the most, grab it and go.  Oh, and I guess you're supposed to say a bunch of things about yourself and pass it on to others.

* Melissa at Mia Bella Vintage.  This woman can BUILD THINGS PEOPLE.  She's a renovation MACHINE.

* Jeanne at The Dalai Grandma.  She takes the garbage that life throws at us and turns it into something thoughtful and eloquent.

* Al_One at Al One (or is your blog called Way Too Alone) who meditates on life as a "loner."

* Leanne at One Odd Duck because she's so damn funny, and her heart is FREAKING HUGE.

Peace out.


  1. Totally grabbing your head and bear hugging you betwixt my hoots, making the side to side rocking motion,weeping tears of joy...Thank you,Dearheart!!!!!! I truly don't know what the meme is or what award I just won, but it's Friday and I'm a bit drunk And this is Still the best part of my weekend! *sniff*

    1. You're hilarious. Bear hugged between hoots. Damn, but that's made me all warm and fuzzy.
      You can choose whichever award you want! Hooray! A grab bag of fun!

      If you choose the liebster award, all you have to do is pass it on to other people. You don't have to say anything fun and revealing, but then, what fun would that be?

    2. that's so funny! and then she apparently commented again incognito which makes it even funnier!

    3. Haha! Nope, just the once! Seems to me there be many drunken blog readers here tonight!!!

    4. that was hilarious because it came RIGHT ON THE HEELS of Leanne's reply!

  2. Congrats on all your awards.
    Oh, I hate axe me a question!

    1. thanks Ruth, but did you see what I did there? I took SO SO SO LONG to get to my awards that it looks like they're falling out of my ass!
      Brilliant, no?

  3. I truly don't know what the meme is or what award I just won, but it's Friday and I'm a bit drunk And this is Still the best part of my weekend!

    1. Leanne, is that you again, in drinkie personna?

    2. My god, even MY comments are getting plagairised! And now that I'm an award winner, well, it's just gonna get worse! Oh I do hate the fame...

  4. how bout the word "prolaby"? and "warsh". ack! just typing them made my brain hurt. i think living in the south means living around people who are all too happy to let little things like grammar and pronunciation stop them from running their mouths.
    way to go getting 4 awards! i used to get some, but i stopped ever doing any after a while and now i get none. this is okay with me. i don't work well under pressure and there are only so many times you can come up with interesting crap about yourself that people want to read. oh wait, that's what my whole blog is!
    never mind. you did your awarders proud.
    carry on.

    1. Sherilin, this is probably over the course of at least four months. Procrastinate much, karen?

      You go ahead and grab the LIEBSTER award, because you're my friend! You don't have to do anything with it other than "bask in the love of fellow writers" and pass it on.

    2. i've already gotten the leibster award a couple times. after my initial intoxication with blog awards, i followed the stingy ways of others who've been blogging longer than me and i no longer hold my breath in excitement when i read the list of recipients, hoping to see my name there.
      does that make me witchy?

  5. Okay, I will chime in here, because as much as I wish I could relax about it, my inner grammar and usage teacher keeps me ever vigilant! All of those you mentioned also drive me nuts, but some amuse me, too (because I am mean and like to laugh at people, apparently). At the top of my personal red-ink list are the misuses of Latin terms, tossed like so many salad mixings into sentences, so as to make the speaker sound "smart." If you are not a Latin speaker, and you are not a lawyer, you should probably avoid using "per se," "ipso facto," and their kind, unless you know how to use them appropriately. (Frankly, even if you can use them appropriately, you risk sounding like a pretentious arse.) Second on my list are the misheard - and never checked! - cliches: "I hate being taken for granite," or "I wish you could be more pacific." (For more of these, see Third on my list are all those words chronically misused in speech and writing by the general population, including politicians, business gurus, and other social "leaders." These include "irregardless," "infer" vs. "imply," "affect" vs. "effect," "accepted" vs. "excepted," and "its" vs. "it's." Okay, I'm done.

    1. Oooooo, TD! You're even worse/better than I! I thought I was a grammar nazi, but you had me beat with the latin! I happen to enjoy using "per se." I always thought I used it correctly, but damn it, now I have to look it up!

      Totally forgot about irregardless. That drives my husband insane.

  6. Nice awards.
    I thank you for leaving comments on my posts. Despite your loathing of the dreaded word verification. :)

    1. Listen Sprite, just because I'm a whiner, doesn't mean it would ever keep me commenting on your blog, or anyone else's blog whom I like, because me likee you.

    2. Good to know. Whine away... lol.

  7. Thank you. But if I'm so good, where's my award? I want my award. I hate you!
    Just kidding.

    1. Jeanne, didn't you see your name in that list? Or was I just so completely UNCLEAR that nobody knows what the hell award they got? You get to choose whatever shiny award you think reflects you the most, post it and say stuff about yourself. Or you can accept the award of friendship--the liebster award--and just stick it up their on your virtual mantle.

  8. Congrats on all the awards Karen!!!!
    I am so with you on Number 1 it must be a family thing because my dad was the same!!!! Yes I freak customers out at work because i remember conversations , what they smoke etc...they always look a little scared lol!!!!

    I hate all those sayings to...I mean what the hell does think outside the box mean anyways???? I don't get it!

    I was thrilled that you chose Melissa...she is awesome!

  9. thanks Pam! You're right: maybe it is a family thing! That's kind of nice to know. Looking forward to seeing what magic you've been working on your new place!

  10. I just strolled over from Lizbeth's place (note: I did NOT hop). So many of your things revealed about yourself make me wonder how I didn't find you sooner. IT'S (not its) nice to meet you!

  11. thanks Andrea! It's nice to meet you too! When I get a moment, I'll stroll on over to your place :)

  12. Way Too Alone Is My name. Way Too Alone Is My game. And so is Al One. (My name, that is)

    Thank you soo much!!


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