People, people, people. I am FULL of cold right now. Stuffed to the brim with it. I have the barking seal chest, the itchy-teeth sinuses, and even a splash of intestinal distress thrown in, just to make things INTERESTING.
This might be the part in which I say 'blah, blah, blah, I CAN'T COMPLAIN because I haven't had a cold in MONTHS,' but eff that, I'm complaining. I feel like a sack of shit.
So, in case any of you are thinking "what the hell is karen's damage? She hasn't visited my blog in a while! Just know it's because I'm whining somewhere on the couch, or in my bed.
While I was gagging back a coffee this morning-- oh wait. Yes, I said "gagging." When I have a bad cold, the coffee is not nearly so enjoyable, but since I need that one cup to live, I force it back anyway. Don't judge. While I was having my coffee, I was flipping the TV channels, and paused on that visual carnival known as "Ice Loves Coco"
It's a reality show that follows the life of rapper Ice T and his human blow up doll wife Coco Austin. Wait, that's kind of mean on my part, because Coco (from the nanoseconds of the show I've seen here and there) seems to be a nice person. Still, I have a bag under my eye, with a crevice above it so deep I could carry pocket change there right now, so I'm not feeling particularly KIND.
So, Ice and Coco are sitting there talking about their 10 years...11 years--who cares--together, and apparently, it is in part because COCO has never relaxed her standards on sexiness. First of all, when Coco gets stressed, she CLEANS THE HOUSE.
There I was, parked on the couch, and there's enough hair on the bathroom floor right now to make a small wig. POINT GOES TO COCO.
Then, Coco explained that she doesn't ever wear "sweats" while cleaning the house. No, no, gentle hearts. She wears high heeled shoes and "booty shorts."
I was going to put up a pic of booty shorts, with a funny caption, but FROCK THAT. As if I need more hits to my blog from the rabid perverts of the world.
So instead, I'll put up this pic:
|weird: Coco and I have the same workout outfit|
So, there she is, all booty shorts and heels doing the dusting and washing dishes and shit. I was watching this with my mouth hanging open, simply so I could BREATHE, and The Man, had wandered away from his desk out of "curiosity" to see the show, and I said:
THAT'S IT. THAT'S IT!!!
And what I meant was "THAT'S IT, I'VE HAD IT, THIS IS THE LAST STRAW, I'VE NEVER HEARD ANYTHING SO TIRESOME AND STOOPID AND--"
and I swear The Man got a sudden sparkle in his eye, like I was actually saying:
"THAT'S IT! EUREKA! THAT WOMAN IS A GENIUS"
and I was going to run over and throw on that flimsy red thing that hasn't seen the light of day in about...wait...how old are the children...and start vaccing up cat hair balls, and the piles of crumbs wedged down the side of the couch.
You know? It was almost sad. However, The Man and I have been together for nearly TWENTY years, and let me tell you something people: the success to a long relationship isn't BOOTY SHORTS, NO! It's
Ha ha ha...I kid, I kid! Anyhoo, I have a lot of dishes that need washing, so I'd better dig out my thong, and get to it.
Have a super sexy Monday everyone!