Figuring out what I wanna be when I grow up.
Oop..I AM grown up...


Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Ow, my freaking Angst

I am mere hours away from having to suffer through the results of my thyroid biopsy.  The kindly doctor likes to have us come in no matter what the results are, so that will be me this afternoon.  I'm trying to keep it all buttoned down.

And here's where I lose it a bit:

APRIL AND MAY SUCK.

♥ my 40th birthday (didn't really suck at all, but was a bit stressful in the anticipation part

♥ annual death of my mother fun-a-thon

♥ thyroid biopsy/neck stab-o-rama...AGAIN.

♥ ladybits concern :  excellent chance that it's NOTHING, but seriously?  SERIOUSLY?  I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THE GIANT Q-TIP AGAIN.

♥ presentation coming up in Jack's class to promote sensitivity for people who are different.  Super duper can't wait.

♥ IEP meeting (called IPRC or something this time) concerning how Jack's been doing and what we want in place for next year, and I'm so sick of sticking the smile on my face sometimes and pretending ALL IS WELL, ALL IS WELL

♥ Mother's Day is coming.  No gots a mother.

♥ Mom's birthday is coming up

♥ anniversary of my grandmother's death

♥ suck-shit virus

and the ICING on the cake...

♥ ♥ ♥ I can NOT find my engagement ring.  Can not find it.  I only wear it on special occasions and it is missing.  It is nowhere.  So, now I play a new game every night called "tear apart a small section of the house, bit by bit".

This means lately I get to wake up several times a night with a slightly racing heart.



"Hello karen.  I'm RIGHT HERE FOR YOU when you need me, buddy.  I'm RIGHT HERE."

22 comments:

  1. oh Karen! I lose my rings all the time......the last time it was found it was in the DVD drawer! So tearing apart the house is a good thing..you just never know where they go.

    SOON, soon this will be all over. Take some deep breathes....I am the queen of heart palpitating anxiety..especially waking up mid panic attack thinking I am dying.

    Just drink , just drink, and then it will be all over.

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    Replies
    1. thanks Melissa! Gotta love those anxiety palpitations! Aren't they a SCREAM!

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    2. screaming right to the ER!!!!!!!!!!!

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  2. time to take half of your last magic pill? Save the other half for Sunday?

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    Replies
    1. I thought about it, but then the two hour nap I had earlier meant I had no time to take it before my appointment! THAT SUCKED! Oh well.

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  3. i lost my wedding ring years ago. i avoided telling the husband for about three years. then i confessed and he doesn't seem to care. i guess that's what happens when you buy things at pawn shops. they're less valuable.
    i hope you find it. and make it through the rest of may unscathed.

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    Replies
    1. WORD, Sherilin. I really hope I find that freaking ring! The irony is that the thing I'm most careful with is typically going to be the thing I lose. All the silver rings I bought when I was a teenager? Yeah, they're still there.

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  4. Oh no!! I would be devastated if I lost my ring. It's probably in some oddball place that you put it thinking 'oh, I'll remember'...at least that's what happens to me.

    That list of suckiness is long - my thoughts are with you!

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    Replies
    1. that's what I'm hoping too, Vesta, because it's just too weird.

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  5. I know it's all falling apart around you but if it makes you feel any better, your post made me chuckle in a few spots. I love how you can see the humor through tragedy. You're a role model for me.
    m.

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    1. Bah, you know this Mark: if ya can't laugh, ya go crazy.

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  6. I thought you might find this amusing, I saw it on the TV recently, you may never worry about the giant q-tip again... http://wwwdelivery.superstock.com/WI/223/1895/PreviewComp/SuperStock_1895-7512.jpg - yes it's a Roman Speculum.
    I hope this month doesn't turn out as terribly as you think. You make us all laugh so I hope that's a minor joy in this sucky two months xxxxx

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    Replies
    1. GOOD GRAVY! Thank god for modern medical devices!!!! That did cheer me up, you lovely thing you.

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  7. Oh good lord, that is a long list of crappity crap stuff.
    The ring will probably turn up JUST when you have given up all hope and The Man has spent a fortune on a special new one to celebrate your Endless Love.
    Good luck with Dr. Stabby Needles, and for any future encounters with the Giant Q-Tip.
    What would happen if you didn't plaster a smile on your face and pretend all is well at your meeting about Jack? It might be liberating, and he possibly might get more help. Or is that crazy? Probably. If we all showed how we really felt, the world would spin off its axis in shock, right?
    Anniversaries and missing loved ones is hard. I'm sorry.
    Keep us posted about how dreadful the rest of May is. Fear the worst but hope for better. I'm such a cheery soul... xxxxxxxxxx

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    Replies
    1. All wise words, Curtise. You always cut through the bs and remind me about the real stuff to focus on. Thank you.

      I will post again soon to update!

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  8. Damn, just lost my whole comment. ok so it basically said I am going through a lot of the same. Hope it gets better for you. USE THE BLUE PILL.

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    Replies
    1. Damn it Alaina! We need blue pills for both of us then!

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  9. Why does life have to suck so much at times?

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    Replies
    1. I don't know Ruth, but it's FREAKING ANNOYING!!!!

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  10. Yikes. What a couple of shit months. Best of luck on the thyroid thing. And Jack's presentation. The rest? Feel good when you can and be sad when you have to. Take care of you.

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