The other night, The Man was putting the kids to bed. Suddenly he ran coughing and sputtering into the bathroom, where he proceeded to gargle, spit and moan over the sink.
"What's the matter?" I asked.
"I think I just licked some POOP!" he said with much horror.
♥ How did he do it everyone?
It turns out there was a brown smudge on Ella's leg, and The Man employed that great parental method of cleaning a kid with a thumb and a tongue.
he DOUBLE DIPPED. When the smudge, which he thought was marker (because Ella draws all the time), didn't come off immediately, he licked his thumb again but encountered a certain unmistakable ODOUR.
So, he runs into the can in total horror, tells me what happened, and I run in with my handy little spray bottle filled with hydrogen peroxide.
"QUICK!" sez I, "OPEN YOUR MOUTH!"
and he does, because apparently we trust our spouses COMPLETELY, so there I was spritzing and spritzing and spritzing his tongue, and as we all know, peroxide...well, it burns.
So, his eyes begin to water and his mouth starts to burn, and he says to me;
"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!?"
and I say;
So, I make him gargle with a diluted solution of it, and then I made him swallow a swig of PEPTO, and he said;
"what will that do?"
and I said maybe, just maybe it will kill the poop bacteria before it festers and multiplies in his gut and turns into some fun episode of hurling.
Because really people? I have no experience, personally, with licking poop.
So let this be a lesson to you: