Figuring out what I wanna be when I grow up.
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Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Karen Goes To Stratford!

Hooray!  I actually went out of town last weekend!

Remember back at the beginning of September when I was ranting about where the hell I was going to go for my 10th anniversary, with The Man (here)?

Well, we decided to go to beautiful Stratford Ontario and see The Pirates of Penzance.

People, if you're like me, you hardly ever get to go on vacations, and when you do, you're usually surrounded by little idiots who are demanding snacks, and you're screeching that you're NOT THE MAID, AND THIS IS MY VACATION TOO.  Yes, I said "little idiots."  That is indeed harsh.  You should indeed judge me.  But I don't care. I have a whisper of PMS this week, and I'm no longer particularly fond of The Man by this point either.  It's nothing personal. It's purely a hormone thing.

Oh, stop panicking.  Somewhere deep in a secret chamber of my crust-covered heart, I have retained love for my entire family. Today though, I really just want a huge, two hour long nap.

But I digress!  I took some photies, so you could feel like we were all there together, holding hands and feeling like walking around simply enjoying things, and browsing through charming shops isn't a totally weird, and alien experience now.

Come on everyone, get your running shoes with the hole in them, and your sensible grey hoodie, and come stroll through Stratford with me...



What the hell is this BORING photo, you ask?  Oh, don't be so jaded, my cynical love.  This is to show you have freaking peaceful the drive in to Stratford is.  Miles and miles of farms and rolling meadows and sunshine and fresh freaking air.



Here I am in the parking lot behind our quaint Inn, smiling like a goof and feeling ECSTATIC THAT I AM HERE AND THE KIDS ARE AT HOME, AND I LOVE THEM, BUT I GET SO SICK OF THE BOY CALLING ME "STU" AND "MEANIIE" AND...well yeah.

In the background is the charming "Avon River", which you can't really see, but there are tents and things being set up for the food festival that weekend.




LOOKIT!  LOOKIT!  There's a baby birdie in the parking lot, which apparently has JUST learned to fly.  Its mother was cheeping like crazy from the roof of an adjacent car, and the baby was peeping back like mad at the mother.   The Man gave him/her/it a gentle nudge and finally birdie flew off and did NOT get squashed by any vehicles.

I had to suppress tears because I was all verklempt cause it was all magical and shit.


cheep cheep!

this is where we stayed!

LOOKIT!  THERE ARE FREAKING CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES WAITING IN OUR CHARMING ROOM FOR US!

I, who am something of a militant food nazi, and hardly ever eat super yummy things now, but didn't get the chance to stop and have lunch along the way, practically shoved The Man out of my path to get to that sugar.  Excellent cookies too.





charming, serene, hotel room.  What was cool was that they had a selection of books by Canadian authors for our reading pleasure, and a selection of cd's by (unknown--totally unknown) Canadian artists for our listening pleasure.  AND, each room of the Inn features art by a Canadian artist.  WAY COOL.




our view from our room.  We are RIGHT IN THE HEART OF THE ACTION in busy, lively downtown Stratford!  Hooray!  I'm NEVER in the heart of the action!!!




we had lunch at Bentley's.  A lunch so wonderful it was actually terrible.  We had a gourmet grilled cheese sandwich and poutine.  It was so delicious it put me in a food coma for a little while.  Who eats that much cheese at one sitting?!?  A WINNER, that's who.  WINNING.


The Man is blocking the view of the super awesome City Hall building.  That's one of the best things about Stratford--almost all of the buildings are really cool.





river in the background.  Scenic gardeny stuff.



I just walked around smiling like a tool for most of the trip.  Could not stop smiling.  Do you think I needed a vacation?!?


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Why didn't I get drunk there?!?




On Saturday there were sheep!  Hooray!


This little darling was only FOUR DAYS OLD when I held her.  Is that not completely magical and heartwarming or what?!?!?!?
The Man proudly supports Liverpool F.C.



We had a very nice brekky at "Let Them Eat Cake."




Farmers' market on Saturday, with slightly crappier weather.



Do you know what I love?  Autumn.  I love it.  I love it so hard. I want to marry Autumn.  Yes, that's right.  I will divorce The Man and marry FALL.


Gardeny, Foliage-y stuff.







The Avon river with duck and swan buddies.




She's so cute with her widdle beak all tucked under he widdle wing.




"Hello, we're VERY RICH.  We are so rich in fact, that we have a shrub that is actual LAWN ART.  karen does not have shrubbery art.  karen has "creeping charlie."  karen has so much f*cking creeping charlie that she can often be found in her back yard, bent at the waste, yanking that weed out and muttering 'f*cking creeping f*cking charlie!' under her breath."




more awesome building shots...


So dig this:  we arrived in Stratford.  We poked around in all the fancy shmancy shops.  We bought WONDERFUL FANCY CHEESES, and we hit the Stratford liquor store.  We had a wonderful/horrible lunch at Bentleys.  We saw the rollicking, fun play.

Oh!  And I wore my new dress and super sexay fun slutty new shoes from Nine West.  You know, those were the highest heels I've ever worn, and they only became torture at the three hour mark!  Hooray for me!  Exquisite, sexy torture.

I, however, am an idiot, and we did not take ANY pictures of my dress when I wore it out.  So, I had to recreate the look, as best I could with a) the Man's sub-par photography skills, b) my SUB PAR CAMERA, and c) terrible, frumpadump post-workout hair.

But, I figured you guys would ask what I wore, so here it is, for better or for worse.






Gratuitous shot of the hoots, or closeup of the lace overlay in my dress for detail?  You decide.  Decent hoots though--I'll give me that.







check those heels!!  EXQUISITE TORTURE!  SEXY SUFFERING!  NOM, NOM, NOM, I WANT TO LICK THOSE FREAKING SHOES




I kept the jewellery simple:  two gold bracelets that were my mom's and my little gold star earrings which were a grade 8 graduation present from my Mom.


And now, back to my regularly scheduled life of dishes, and skidmark removal.

39 comments:

  1. Where is the dress from???

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    1. Sorry--I should have put that in there. The dress is from Ricki's; my favourite store for women's clothes.

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  2. It looks like you had a wonderful time. It's what every mother needs once in a while.

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    1. Chania, that is exactly right. I did have a wonderful time!

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  3. you ate poutine? i've never heard of that, but it sounds like a fancy french word for putang. what kind of romantic trip was this?
    super cute baby you were holding!
    i'm glad you had a good trip. you look lurvely in your pretty dress and heels. now you need to go somewhere else dressy so you can wear those bad boys again and get some mileage out of them.

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    1. Oh Sherilin! You don't have the French Canadian DELICACY? Oh wait..you're a vegetarian. It is french fries covered with gravy and cheese curds. It makes my eyes roll into my head. Good thing I only have it once every couple of years.

      Thank you for the kind words--I did lurv that dress. Maybe I shouldn't wear the heels again though, because I almost need to LEARN how to walk in them. But sssh...don't tell anybody that part :)

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    2. i'm less vegetariany than i was for 12 years. dieting and being poor has changed things a bit with my food intake and that sounds like something i could totally eat-up-yum-on-my-tongue and then roll around with a worthwhile belly ache afterwards.

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    3. less vegetarian! Now I'm curious! Yeah, it's so freaking good. If you ever come to town, and you eat gravy, I'll take you to the Flying Saucer and we could get a plate of gut rot.

      Oh wait...the new us doesn't eat that stuff. Okay, we'll go out for some tilapia and arugala.

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    4. gravy is definitely one of those semi-meaty things that i eat now and then. i could dip just about anything into it and be inappropriately happy.
      the new us can try on the old us for one meal. then we'll put on stretchy jammie pants and pass some gas while we laugh about our diva cups.

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  4. Yay! What a fun post, and Stratford looks amazing and romantic.

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    1. It is completely amazing. If you're ever in Ontario, and feel like small town charm with big town pretentiousness and a theatre, go there!

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  5. You even make vacation photos fun! So glad you got away and had a great time!

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    1. thanks Beth! Vacation photos have to be sparkled up a bit for others don't they.

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  6. Wow! Looks like a good time, and beautiful. Also, I am going to sneak up to Onterio and steal your dress.

    I want to get out of town, but I have to wait until December. DECEMBER? I mean, come ON. That's SO. FAR. AWAY.

    Also, I now want a baby sheep. Or kid. Wait, that's goats. LAMB. Right. Actually, a goat would be better. It can play with the cats.

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    1. Yay for stealing my dress! I take that as a compliment :) Yes, the lamb was super cute.

      I know--we should all have a vacation EVERY MONTH. Or maybe that would be exhausting...

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  7. Looks like a nice trip. Very cool little hotel.

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  8. Oh yay - this place looks gorgeous - you look gorgeous - plus you had two whole 'stu' free days, ate cookies AND got to poke a baby bird and cuddle a lamb - LIFE IS GOOD! Plus, you are looking FINE! Sarah xxx

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    1. thank you Sarah! Every time I wear something great now, I think of you stylish ladies, and how you do that every day! ROCK ON WITH YO BAD SELF!

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  9. Thank you so much for the laugh today. I really truly needed it.

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  10. So Ontario has a Stratford-upon-Avon too? By rights, you should have been seeing some Shakespeare, but we know how you feel about him, so best stick to G & S.
    It looks like a lovely town, and it is so good to see you and The Man out and about. He's relented about appearing on the blog then, that's good! Handsome Man, Karen, worthy of your hootalicious self.
    Lots of food, wandering to one's own scedule, theatre, baby captures, buildings, river, hotel, time, no kids - sounds perfect. Aren't you glad you didn't pick Cirque du Soleil? xxxxx

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    1. Well Curtise, you might have noticed there were no CLEAR shots of the The Man. I think that's as much as he would stand for. Ah well. My hootalicious self! I'm going to get that on a desk plaque for me one day...if I ever have a desk...

      Yes, I'm glad I didn't choose cirque.

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  11. You didn't capture any babies, right? I meant creatures. Bloody iPad keeps unilaterally deciding what to put, makes me wonder who's actually in charge here... xxx

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  12. look at that angelic white dress! It's gorgeous. You look stunning. Stratford looks rather charming, glad you had a great time escaping children for a while and you had some close encounters with cute animals, even better! xxx

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    1. thank you Clare, I appreciate it. Stratford is very charming. You've been to some fabulous little towns yourself though.

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  13. Love the boob shot. And I'm totally jealous. JEALOUS. And you said "Creeping Charlie" for some reason that giving me a fit of giggles.

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    1. but when I'm picking it, it's always 'fucking creeping charlie.." like a sour old woman.

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  14. Looks like you guys had a blasty blast!

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  15. Did they make you watch Shakespeare?

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  16. LOL! Karen you crack me up! Mr.Man must be in a constant state of laughter!! Or maybe not....
    Anyway, thanks for this tour of Stratford! I have never been there and now I feel I HAVE! I know a couple that lives there, he an actor and she a costume designer. I don't really KNOW them, I knew them 100 years ago.
    Poor little birdie....how sweet that Mr.Man saved its life.
    That dress is very pretty and looks great on you! The shoes do look torturous! I could never go in drag just because of the pain that most women put themselves through! lol
    Great post and photos, Karen!

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    1. Jim, I am actually VASTLY under-appreciated here ;) No wait..take the winky face out. It's true. Maybe the drag queens have more muscle to endure shoes like that???

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  17. So happy the little bird was okay. My father once started a bunch of robins out of their nest right before they were able to fly. We ran all over the yard picking them up and popping them back in the nest! They waited about two days, recovered, then flew away.

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    1. well that's a happy ending, Wendy! It must have been very stressful though. Damn nature--it's so scary.

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