Figuring out what I wanna be when I grow up.
Oop..I AM grown up...


Wednesday, October 17, 2012

A Small Story About A Breast

One peaceful Saturday, I was all by myself.  The kids and The Man were all out for the day.  I was in the kitchen making dinner, and feeling a little tired.






I yawned, and stretched, and for some reason I reached over and rubbed my chest, because my fingers are like magnets for any new lump, bump, bumple, pimple, or general ugliness.





But...I felt something...





And IMMEDIATELY lost my appetite.






I'm a smart girl. I made an appointment first thing on Monday.  I was super lucky: I saw my doctor that same day.  She said it didn't feel like anything 'bad.'  But just to be on the safe side I went for an ultrasound on Tuesday.






Nobody was very friendly there, even though they were women.  I thought, sheesh--the technician has a pair of boobs, can't she be a little less crusty?   She didn't have anything to say, neither good, nor bad.  So, I went home.






And then I tried not to panic.







And sometimes I felt like there was NOTHING to worry about.








And sometimes I did not feel that way at all.





  



The end of the week came, and I decided I felt FINE.  I was FINE.  I felt happy and healthy and good.  It was Friday. The Thanksgiving long weekend was about to begin.  Why should I phone for results and potentially RUIN it?  If there was a problem, I'd deal with it on TUESDAY, and enjoy a fun-filled, care-free weekend.








But that plan totally backfired by SATURDAY.







The Man wasn't worried, but he did say I should have just called.  So, first thing on Tuesday, that is what I did.  Damn, I was nervous, but I steeled myself.  After all. I am a WOMAN, right?  I'm STRONG, right?   DEEP BREATH WHILE THEY FIND YOUR REPORT AND....











Oh, sweet relief.











34 comments:

  1. has the mammo happened yet or is it just scheduled? i'm glad it was just a cyst. ever since we talked the other day, i've been trying to decide if my own hoots are riddled with tumors or just generally lumpy. still no conclusion.

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    1. man, I'm a little late for replying. The mammo is scheduled for Nov 1. Can't wait to get the hoot squashed. See? It's scary once you start checking. It does make it better if we check them every month, then we get to know our lumps. But, who wants that much involvement??

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  2. I do the same thing, but with everything. It makes me wonder if I would even notice if there were something seriously wrong.

    I have a slight headache. It'll probably go away soon. I should take an ibuprofen. I have been stressed all week. Naw, I won't get a stroke. There are no blood clots. Shit, what about that lady in planning? She's only a few years older than me. But she recovered. Mostly. Holy shit, what if I stand up and the blood clot breaks loose and I just fall over, brain dead, right next to my cubicle. There's no one over here, no one will probably notice for HOURS. I'll probably pee myself. I have to pee now. I should get up and go, but what if it triggers my death-urism? AAAAH!

    (P.S. I'm glad it's a cyst and not something mean and evil).

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    1. See Leauxra, this is why you are awesome, because we both FREAK OUT the same way about stuff. A to Z, although it looks like you take the time to hit all the letters in between. Yeah, I so relate, woman, I so relate.

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  3. Awww... Your little drawing of yourself truly CONVEYED emotion and made me want to hug that little stick girl. Anyhoo... I knew you'd be okay. But hey, who's a bigger worrier than ME? I've had a sore back for over a week now and was initially CONVINCED it was some kind of back cancer. And besides Karen. You flipped that switch OFF, remember?

    aimee

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    1. Yeah, I did flip that switch! THAT'S RIGHT, DAMN IT!

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  4. I'm glad you are OK.
    I had a baseline mammogram at 35 and haven't had another since.

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    1. hrm...there's something very telling in that statement. I think you're being kind, Ruth and NOT saying "IT WAS HORRIBLE". I could be wrong :)

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    2. When the tech tells you it won't hurt, that should give you your first clue. Of course, my tech was so flat chested, I don't think she had any boob to stick in the vice grips.

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  5. omg, if we lived close and were friends we would completely FREAK each other out. Your animation was awesome!

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    1. Yeah, I'm good at that sometimes, Melissa! Thanks for enjoying my drawings. I had fun sitting down for a couple of days and drawing. It was very soothing.

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  6. Oh man Karen, so glad to hear everything turned out alright..sigh of relief.

    Patty

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  7. The best part is the smiling boob! And yes, I am glad you're alright...

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  8. YAY!!! I feel your angst, Karen. I HAAAAAATE waiting for test results. I go into full meltdown. So glad your boob is smiling. I am too. Sarah xxx

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    1. Yes, waiting for results is pure heinous hell, Sarah.

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  9. I went through the same thing.. although the lump wasn't on my boob it was/still is in my armpit.
    My Mum had breast cancer, which is why I am always on the lookout for lumps. Well I should rephrase that.. My HUSBAND is always on the lookout for lumps..or so he says...

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    1. Clever man, sprite! Aren't they all :)

      I'm sorry about your Mum. Too many of us have to deal with this.

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  10. It is a scary feeling to not know if anything is wrong. I am so glad it turned out to be fine. I hope your mammogram goes well too, I have to say I was apprehensive the first time, glad I did it though.

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    1. thanks Alaina, that's encouraging. I'll keep that in mind when I go for the squash.

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  11. I'm with you all the way. Just yesterday I was posting back and forth with friends on Facebook about my subtle dread of even making an appointment for a mammogram. And love your drawings. :)

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    1. yeah, who wouldn't dread it, Jeanne??? I haven't visited you in ages. Feel comforted knowing I haven't visited any of my lovely blog friends lately!

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  12. Argh! The waiting room is the worst bit - I've got a fibroadenoma which the hospital kindly stuck a needle in last year. I had a local anaesthetic and when I went to see the registrar (the ultra sound and appointment were on the same day) - I was a bit high from the adrenaline and when the handsome young doctor asked me where the lump was... I pulled down my top and showed him!!! all's fine with me, I just had a hideous scar for - oh wait, just checked, I still have a small scar from where they scalpled me open to put the needle in.
    Anyway, all of that is 10000000000 times better than cancer. I'm glad you're ok, it is worrying, I had the arrogance of youth on my side, but I was still nervous, so I can feel your tension. xxxxxx
    ps: post trauma ice cream binge is appropriate

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    1. oooo for handsome young doctors though, Clare! I'm glad your ordeal turned out okay though.

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  13. Eek, that's a bit scary. Glad to know you are OK, with a smiley hoot. Cyst, be gone.
    I am the opposite of you, I never think I have anything serious wrong with me, and will doubtless keel over with something heinous as a result. xxxxx

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    1. Curtise, that is the way I WISH I was! Who likes to waste time on all that senseless worrying? I hate it!

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  14. Oh my goodness! I am so happy to hear you're okay. I had a similar thing, but the lump was under my arm. I oscillated back and forth for days "I'm okay!" "I'm gonna die!" Thankfully it was a cyst, but boy is the waiting scary!

    Hugs!

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    1. thanks Vesta. Stupid cysts. Ugly little worry-makers. I'm glad you're okay too!

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  15. This was a beauty of a post!

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  16. Yes Karen, this is a great post! Well done and happy to hear things are OK! Amazing how the mind will go in both directions and leave us confused and worried.

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    1. thank you Jim. OH, I'm all about the brain going in many, exhausting directions!

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