Well, I have news for you: I'm not a total robot! Yeah, I avoid as much processed food as possible, and yes I am militant about fructose and I never ever have artificial sweeteners, and I exercise 6 days a week and blah blah.
But...last Friday after a month of stress, I found out my hooter didn't have a tumor in it....and....and well....
I drew it for you.
So...right after I found out that the little bumple they biopsied in my hooter was benign, I was soooooooo happy and relieved. So was The Man. He decided we should immediately celebrate.
I NEVER get coffee and a donut. I mean, I make coffee at home, but...well, whatever.
Then he thought we should REALLY celebrate! HOORAY FOR TAKEOUT FOOD!
Saturday. The Man bought these chocolate croissant thingies. I never get too horny for store-bought goodies, but whatever. I'd give it a try with my morning coffee.
Crack. It was chocolate pastry crack.
Later I was checking the pathetic, run-down state of our near-empty liquor cabinet. Mon dieu! What's a liquor cabinet if you don't even have the ingredients to make a CRUSTY WIFE! (you can find the recipe HERE)
So, I told The Man that he was simply going to have to fork out some big bucks to re-stock that cabinet.
And then, when he got back from the liquor store, it was like freaking CHRISTMAS
Then my dad came over for late afternoon cocktails. Do you people know how long it's been since I've had a RYE AND COKE?!? DO YOU KNOW???? NO! HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY KNOW?!? YOU HAVE NO IDEA!!!!!
WHISKY AND COKE GOOOD....SOO, SOOOOO GOOOOOOD...
Perhaps a little too good...
Well, if you've been spending time socializing and enjoying cocktails, you certainly don't have time to make dinner. Luckily The Man is RESOURCEFUL!
Yeah! HELL YEAH! WHY NOT? I'M ALIVE!
By Sunday I didn't feel good anymore. At all.