I have two things: horrible fitness dvd's and whisky. An ironic pairing? Perhaps!
Let us continue.
So anyway, life has become a great black hole of SUPER SUCK, and as such, sometimes I need a little helper. So I've chosen POISON in a glass to make me feel better, and let me tell you my friends, at this moment, I truly don't give a shit if it gives me cancer, because then I'll say;
"CANCER? OH THANK GOD! THANK GOD IT'S NOT ALS."
So anyhoo, I've been pondering all day. As I google this and that, and read message boards about this farking disease, I invariably come across stuff like:
"WALK for ALS,"
"RAISE AWARENESS for ALS"
and blah de blah de blah fundraiser, awareness, get-out-there-and-support-the-cause kind of biznatch. And even though I'm livin' it (well, by association), I can't get all jazzed up about putting on an inspirational t-shirt, getting some pledges and walking my little heart out for it.
Not that there's anything wrong with that...
I mean, I'm all for raising awareness, and getting money for research for stuff and finding that CURE, but I just can't get it up for ALS.
Before you start wondering if I truly am an asshole, here is my problem.
Take my Mom: my Mom died of (from?) LUNG CANCER. Well damn you, LUNG CANCER, YOU BASTARD! I'll go champion YOUR cause!
But wait....technically we only knew my Mom had lung cancer for like a week.
Actually, my Mom suffered over twenty years with excruciating, debilitating, disfiguring rheumatoid arthritis.
FUCK YOU, RHEUMATOID ARTHRITIS! SOMEBODY FIND ME AN ARTHRITIS WALK-A-THON!
But....um, what about lung cancer?
Uh...my grandmother had lymphoma. YOU SUCK LYMPHOMA! YOU TOOK MY GRAMMA AWAY!
My boyfriend died from Rhabdomyosarcoma when we were twenty! I HATE YOU, RARE CANCER! I STILL HATE YOU WITH A HATE THA'TS DRIPPING WITH LOATHE!
The Man had thyroid cancer. THYROID CANCER, YOU SUCK SHIT! IMMA RAISE AWARENESS ABOUT YOU!
well, my son has Autism. That's a real ass muncher too.
yeah. Just pour me another glass.
|Hey girl, you think too much. Let me take care of that.|